Video summary
In this episode of Impact Theory, Tom Bilyeu addresses viewer questions regarding procrastination, framing it primarily as a conflict between short-term desires and long-term goals rather than mere laziness. He emphasizes that individuals must not sell out what they want most for immediate gratification, advocating instead for clarity on one's ultimate vision to sustain the raw desire needed to see projects through. For those facing chaotic schedules or circadian rhythm disruptions, Bilyeu suggests regimenting chaos by establishing strict rules: if a specific amount of time becomes available—such as three consecutive minutes—one must immediately engage in pre-ordained productive tasks like journaling or research rather than wasting the window on decision-making fatigue. He also highlights the importance of prioritizing values and relationships first, noting that friction with loved ones should be addressed before other work to maintain a life filled with joy and hope. The discussion extends to managing momentum loss at the start of the week, particularly for parents or those balancing family time with professional goals. Bilyeu argues that Monday struggles often stem from viewing weekdays as "should" obligations rather than an extension of what one loves on weekends; he suggests aligning daily work with deep passions so that pursuing a goal feels exciting and honorable throughout the entire week. To transform wants into needs, he introduces the concept of hacking the brain's justification mechanisms by embodying passion and attaching goals to intrinsic values, such as helping family members live healthier lives through nutrition research. This emotional resonance allows individuals to push through frustration because they are fighting for something deeply personal rather than just completing a task list. Bilyeu further explores how social media consumption can derail content creation and reading habits by recommending strict rules on when it is permissible to consume versus create, alongside regular time audits that reward progress over intention. He warns against letting external notifications control one's agenda, sharing his own practice of turning off all phone alerts except in emergencies to maintain focus on long-term objectives. When addressing feelings of inadequacy or stagnation due to unemployment or slow learning curves, he advises shifting self-worth from "being" something (like being smart) to "becoming" something through the sincere pursuit of skills. He asserts that failure is merely an information-rich data stream—a sample in artificial intelligence terms—that provides necessary feedback to begin again more intelligently without losing enthusiasm. Finally, Bilyeu tackles indecision caused by having too many ideas or getting distracted by relevant but non-urgent interruptions like phone calls. His solution involves using the ICE framework (Impact vs. Ease) to prioritize tasks and blindly following rules that protect deep work time until a significant portion of the day is dedicated solely to one's own agenda. He concludes that success relies on two criteria for any goal: it must be exciting to pursue personally and honorable in its service to others or society. By valuing oneself for showing up daily and leaving everything out on the field, individuals can transform their potential into usable skills, ensuring they are sincerely pursuing a meaningful path rather than succumbing to procrastination driven by insecurity or distraction.
Read the full video transcript
Hey everybody, welcome to another
episode of Impact Theory. You are here
with me today. I'm going to be answering
your questions and we're going to be
talking all about procrastination.
Actually doing something with all of
your potential, turning it into real
skills and then deploying that into the
real world. That is my obsession and
that is what we're going to be focused
on today. So without further ado, here
we go. The first question is up.
Hi Tom, my name is Paul. I'm a
bodyguard. I work in the security
business and I actually encountered you
for the first time uh because I worked
an event two years ago in Universal City
in which you spoke. So that was a good
day at work. Um my dream is uh the film
and television uh businesses. So in my
spare time I've been writing screenplays
and a graphic novel manuscript. Um the
trouble that I have is uh my work
schedule can can vary radically week to
week. So sometimes I'm doing overnight,
sometimes I'm working early mornings and
it's never quite the same. Um it can be
a challenge to get enough sleep uh to
exercise, maintain my health, maintain
my relationship with my wife and that
constant circadian rhythm disruption is
expensive. So um my questions are what
strategies would you suggest to maximize
my hustle time and and what should I
tell myself when I have pages to do but
all I want is to take a nap? Thanks,
Tom.
All right, so you are in a world that I
think everybody can relate to in terms
of there's often a competing goal in
terms of what you want in the short term
versus what you want in the long term.
And one of the coolest quotes I've ever
heard in my life is don't sell out what
you want most for what you want right
now. And I think that is a quote to live
by right there. Um, so that's the big
one is really making sure that you are
focused and excited about what it is
that you want long term. And even just
having a phrase that you can say to
yourself about what it is that you want
most, I think would be hugely
beneficial. So often people don't have
that level of clarity. So when we're
talking about procrastination, just the
raw desire to actually see something
through to the end um, is going to be
critically important. Now, the rest of
what we're talking about is very
mechanistic, but I want to go through
it. So, first of all, anything that's
disrupting the rhythm of your day is
going to be wildly problematic. Um, I
will answer the question assuming that
there's just absolutely nothing you can
do about that, but I want to sneak in a
quick little answer for anybody else
that finds themselves in a similar
situation. If there's any way for you to
get out of the situation where you are
constantly having the rhythm of your day
disrupted, I highly encourage it. So,
we're about to go through how you can
regiment the chaos, but first and
foremost would be to not find yourself
in the chaos to begin with. And that
really does matter in terms of when I
think about my own life and trying to be
as deadly efficient with every single
moment that I have.
Eliminating disruptions is a big one.
Okay. Now, assuming that you can't
eliminate the disruptions, then you're
going to need to start building some
rules into your life so that any moment
where you have, let's say, um that rule
might be if I have any consecutive three
minutes where I know three minutes are
available, then I'm going to immediately
do X. Now, that X might be journaling.
So, you keep um something like Evernote
on your phone and you have a topic
pre-ordained, something you already know
that you're going to do. And whenever
you have a gap, because look, some gaps
just aren't going to be worth it. So if
I had a 90- second gap, I may not fuss
with it. It's going to take 20 seconds
just to get your phone out and get the
app open and have it refresh and all of
that. But if you're really hardcore and
you say anytime where I have a three
minute stretch, then I'm going to make
sure that I immediately begin doing
something that's productive. Um, a big
part of making limited windows like that
productive is the following. So first
and foremost is having an important
things list. And by having that
important things list, you're going to
be able to immediately slide into
knowing exactly what you should be doing
so that you don't spend the three
minutes just trying to figure out what
it is that you're going to do. So you're
going to have that important things
list. You're going to know exactly what
you should be doing. You're going to
build in some minimum amount of time
where you say anytime where I have this
amount of time or more, I'm immediately
going to dive into um one of the things
in my important things list. Now,
important things list shouldn't all be
just these gargantuan things that
require hours and hours of time. You
want to make sure that you have things
that you can do that are long. You want
to make sure that you have some things
that are medium and you want to make
sure that you have some things that are
short. And when you have that, now you
can begin slotting into those. Some of
what you may be doing in the short maybe
researching something, learning more
about, so you're talking a lot about
film and TV. So, I can just tell you
right now that I have a YouTube
playlist, which I also curate ahead of
time. So, anytime I've got a brief
window, it's what I call transitional
moments where I immediately pick up my
phone, take it out, go into, let's say,
screenwriting, boom, I've already got 20
videos that are just going to autoplay.
So, I have to select the next one,
curate it on that playlist, boom, I
start it going, and now I'm researching.
Another thing that I can do in very
limited windows of time is I have
specific stories that I'm going to be
journaling on. And I might journal for a
minute, I might journal for an hour,
depending on how much time I have. that
every second that I spend working on
that I'm able to eek a little bit more
productivity out of it. So that's huge.
You're going to need to make sure that
you get sleep. That's going to be really
critical. And then you need to
prioritize things in your life. You
mentioned your wife. So for me, my wife
is number one now. Not in terms of time
allocation, but in terms of importance.
So when I know that there's any friction
there, I'm going to deal with that
first. when there's um you know I need
to capture joy or something to really
reaffirm the relationship and make sure
that it is this beacon of joy and hope
in my life I'm going to do that. So
putting your your um values in life in
ranked order is going to be critically
important to you. All right in a
nutshell that's the strategy that I
would use. I hope that helps. Report
back. I think that you will find that
having those things pre-ordained so that
you can at a moment's notice slip into
productivity is really going to serve
you. All right. Next. Hi Tom, thank you
for the opportunity to ask a question.
My name is Masha and my question has to
do with the beginning of uh work week.
Uh it's Mondays and sometimes Tuesday
for me where I seem to lose a lot of
momentum over the weekend. Uh the fact
is I do have three small children and I
spend a lot of time with them on the
weekend. So comes Monday sometimes
struggle with getting back in the groove
and of course if we lose Mondays that's
20% of the whole work week. So it seems
seems a bit excessive to lose 20% of
productivity just based on the fact that
weekends might interfere with our
workflow. So would you have any
recommendations as to how to combat
that? Um
so any tips would be wonderful. Thank
you. Bye-bye.
All right. So I love that you've already
got your finger on the fact that if
you're letting a Monday slip away or
what most people do, which is let a
Friday and a Monday slip away. So Friday
they're sliding into party mode and then
Monday sort of recovery mode. Um now
you're losing two-fifths of the entire
week. So the fact that you're already
aware of what's at stake here is really
um exciting and certainly encouraging.
The big thing, and this is why I always
tell people, there need to be two things
true about the goals you're trying to
accomplish. One, they need to be
honorable. And two, they need to be
exciting. So, we'll set honorable aside
for a second and just focus on being
just absolutely
committed out of enthusiasm to
accomplishing your goal. And this has
been one of the things that's propelled
me the most in my career is that I
legitimately am excited about the thing
that I'm trying to build. And because I
value myself for the sincere pursuit of
this thing that is both exciting to me
and honorable and that it's, you know,
going to lift people up if I actually
accomplish it. And I'm holding myself
accountable to actual results. But the
game, the game, which is the right way
to think about it, the game of trying to
turn my potential into usable skills
that can do something tangible in the
world to make that goal that's exciting
and honorable come true. because all of
that game is predicated on making sure
that I love the time in the field that
I'm leaving everything out on the field
and I value myself for that. I don't
value myself for accomplishing it, but I
value myself for actually trying to
pursue it. So now you can imagine I'm
saying this stuff to myself all the
time. So the weekends are fun and I do
wife oriented things and I'm doing like
in your case I would be doing the things
that are oriented around my kids and I
would love it and I would have work shut
off in my mind and I wouldn't be trying
to work double duty. On the weekends, I
will be with my kids and then on during
the week, I'm going to be focused on
that goal that I want to be focused on.
Now, here is the catch.
If your value system is such that family
time is far more important and exciting
to you than work time, you may want to
re-evaluate your goals because it may be
that you're trying to convince yourself
to pursue something Monday through
Friday that actually doesn't resonate
with you. Now, if that's true, you've
got a couple different options. You can
either find a way to make the stuff that
you want to do with your family, for
your family, that skill set, you can
find a way to make that a big part of
your Monday through Friday so that it
feels like more of a continuation of the
week. It may not be playtime, and I get
it, everybody has to eat and pay your
bills, and so you're going to have to
find something to monetize, but there
are often things what I call universe
of. So if family time, quality time with
your kids, that's a skill set that you
want to be extraordinary at. What's a
way where you could be in the universe
of that skill set, those things during
the week so that you saw a direct
correlation between what you do during
the week and then that thing that really
matters to you, which is your family
time on the weekend. So it could be
pursuing a degree in psychology. It
could be working at a daycare. It could
be teaching. You know, I don't know in
what way that to you is sort of the deep
passion, but that's another way to
approach this. There's no right or wrong
goal. There is only a goal that is both
exciting and honorable and gets you
amped on Monday so that the way you're
pursuing it through the week is exciting
to you and you don't feel like you're
living for the weekend. And that's where
people are often falling apart is their
Monday through Friday is a should thing.
It's I should want this. I should pursue
this instead of being a continuation of
just the things in life that they love.
And the way that I've tried to structure
my life is such that on the weekend
other than spending time with my wife,
the most exciting thing that I can think
of to do are the fun parts of my Monday
through Friday. That's how much I enjoy
what I'm pursuing and what I'm trying to
build is that sure there's overhead.
Look, I I will say that my work life is
comprised of 60% overhead, meaning
things I don't want to do, and 40%
things I do want to do. But those that
40% is so much fun, and the 60% serves
that 40% so well that on the weekend, I
can pull from that 40% and and just be
energized and feel wildly enthusiastic.
That is the best way that I could spend
my totally free time. And that is a sign
that you've got things aligned. So, that
would be my encouragement. If you find
yourself having a hard time revving back
up, it tells me that you figured
something out on the weekends that you
haven't yet figured out during the week.
Find a way to align them. All right,
next up.
Hey Tom, it's Kevin. Um, I'm from San
Jose, California, and I'm currently a
student um or a senior in high school to
be more specific. And my question for
you is, how do I turn something that I
want to do or that I, you know, I'm
aspiring to do into something that I
don't really have a choice to do or
something that I need to do. And I'm
wondering how I would be able to turn,
for example, if I wanted to wake up
early in the morning, it's a lot easier
for me to do that if I know I have class
in the morning or whatever. And uh if I
don't really have a choice to do it in
my mind, it's a million times easier to
do that thing versus if I have a choice
or if you know it's yeah I I should do
it but I don't need to. Um it's a lot
easier for me not to do it. So my
question is how do I turn that want into
a need? Um thanks man and uh hopefully
this can make into the video. Thanks.
All right so you made it into the video.
Here we go. Turning a want into a
crushing need uh is one of the most
useful processes that you can master.
And when you understand that we don't
get what we want, but we get what we
need, then you begin to understand,
okay, this is something I want to learn
how to um line up. So, I want to take
this thing that I want and isn't a need.
It really is just a want. And I want to
figure out the process of how I increase
its level of importance in my mind. So
one of the most important things to
understand about the human brain is that
the the brain the conscious mind will
work backwards to justify what it's
done. So the the human brain is
absolutely fascinating and it has a
mechanism. So I talk about this thing
called the physics of being human. Like
what does the brain just do in and of
itself? And one of the things that the
brain does in and of itself always and
forever is it will justify what happens.
There's this amazing thing uh study that
was done on people that have short-term
memory loss so that they cannot form new
memories. They they have brain damage
that makes it impossible for them to
form new memories. So, a doctor will go
in, they will have a pin on their hand,
they will shake hands with a person, it
pokes them, person jerks their hand
back. Now, remember, they cannot form
new memories. So, that doctor jabs them
and they're in pain. They pull their
hand away. Um, the doctor comes back
five minutes later, the person does not
remember meeting them at all, but they
still won't shake their hand. Now, when
you ask them, "Oh, why won't you shake
my hand?" They will make [ __ ] up and
they'll be like, "Well, um, I've just
always had this problem with shaking
people's hands that are wearing white
lab coats," which is total [ __ ]
Five minutes ago, they were more than
happy to shake that person's hand. So,
that is the conscious mind needing to
make sense of what's going on in the
subconscious mind because the way that
memories are stored are very different.
So you have the implicit and the
explicit memory. So you've got something
that's happening consciously and
subconsciously. So the short-term memory
is not turned into long-term memory. And
so they don't remember why they're doing
this thing. But the part of the memory
that's working based around the pain and
knowing what causes pain stimulus
realizes that this person generates
pain. But the subconscious speaks in
emotion. It doesn't speak in um
language. And so the rational logical
mind tries to then make sense of what is
going on. So, we're going to hijack that
to work for us here in this example
where we want to get hyped up about
something, but we want it to be real.
So, we know that the mind is doing this.
And yes, we're totally hacking the mind.
Yes, we're playing a bit of a game with
ourselves, but it ends up having this
incredible impact. So, what I do is I
embody the passion that I want to feel.
So, like I'm doing now, you can imagine
if you were sitting in a room with me,
uh, I would probably be speaking much
more subdued. But because I understand
that the passion that I'm feeling is
infectious to other people, that if I
can embody it, then I can get other
people to feel it as well. Now, the
crazy thing is is it works in a loop and
I actually begin to feel that the
response that I'm having is the right
amplitude. So, even if I'm merely
consciously turning the dial of
excitement up or whatever about the goal
that we have because I know that I want
to spring out of bed in the morning, I'm
going to dial that up and say this thing
that I'm working towards, it isn't a
want. This is a need. I've got to have
this and this is why I have to have it.
And I'm going to create some logic that
really means something to me. And I'll
give you an example. At Quest, to show
up every day and to fight that hard, to
learn manufacturing, to spend my time
repairing equipment, it was [ __ ]
crazy. And there were times it was so
frustrating and I knew for me to do
something I didn't want to do that I was
going to have to leverage that notion.
So I said going into it, how do I attach
to building a nutrition company to
something that I care intrinsically
about, deeply about and that thing
became my mom and my sister. And so I
said, "Okay, this is really powerful
because I can show up every day and
fight for my mom and my sister. So, how
do I associate my mom and my sister to a
nutrition company? And the answer was
very simple. My mom and my sister were
morbidly obese and I wanted to help make
food that they could choose based on
taste and it happened to be good for
them. And if I could do that, that they
would be in my life longer. They would
live longer, healthier lives. They would
feel better. So, when a piece of
equipment broke down or I was dealing
with something incredibly frustrating or
I was working insane hours, it was just,
hey, I'm doing this for my mom and my
sister. And I would embody that and I
would tell people that and I would feel
it and I would get amped up the way that
I'm doing right now. I would literally
say things like this like a crazed man
and it began to infuse so that over time
6 months 12 months it was like I really
felt like this was a crusade for my mom
and my sister and that is so powerful.
The ability to take something that you
care deeply about, marry it to a goal
that you care about so that you have
this emotional resonance with that thing
is very, very powerful. So that's the
brain hack that you're going to use to
get yourself super excited. All right,
there it is. Next up, my name is Niels
McCory and I live in San Miguel de
Yenda, Mexico. And I'm a camera coach. I
help people not just feel confident on
camera but to be interesting and
engaging when they're working with their
audience. The trouble is a lot of us are
working social media and we literally
get sucked into the exact type of
content that we create. So you could be
uploading a video and you're about to
upload it and then you see something
interesting and lose a half an hour and
then think, what was I doing? Oh yeah, I
was going to upload a video. So, what's
your recommendation to someone who has
to work around social media to make sure
they stay on the content creation side
and don't get sucked into the consumer
side?
Would love your thoughts on that. All
right, here we go. There's two things
that are going to help you out. Number
one, rules. I don't think people
understand the power of rules where you
have rules in your life and you abide by
those rules. So, if you know that
consuming content is going to be a
problem for you, then we're going to
want to make sure that we um limit that,
that we say that we have a rule around
the amount of consumption that we do and
or that we say I I don't consume content
between these hours and I allow myself
to consume content during these hours.
So maybe you allow yourself to consume
content only the last hour before you go
to bed or if that spikes your anxiety
some other period in the day but you
confine it to a very limited um period
and that is extremely beneficial. Have
the rule stick to the rule. The other
part is to audit your time. Now this is
where we get into reward and punishment.
So, you have to be able to reward
yourself when you stick to your rules,
when you make good use of your time, and
you need to be able to punish yourself
emotionally. Let's not get uh out of
control here. And I will bring all the
baggage of all I've talked so much about
this. 20% of your time is punishment.
80% is rewarding yourself, is being good
to yourself, focusing on the good, the
beautiful, the light energy. Um never
let yourself spend more than 20% of your
time in the dark energy. But it is very
powerful. And people that fail to
leverage the dark side of the force um
will never achieve what somebody who can
leverage both things can achieve. But
you have to be very very careful. It's a
corrosive energy. Um it will make you
feel like [ __ ] if you overplay that
hand. So you have to be very very
careful. Now having said that, you're
going to have to get good at this so
that when you're abiding by your rules
and you do the audit and you realize,
whoa, I've really killed it. I've made
good use of this time. I've actually
made progress. Right? So we don't want
to just reward ourselves for our
intention. We want to reward ourselves
for whether or not we actually made
progress. And if we're making progress,
then we're going to feel really good
about that. And if we're not making
progress, but we really did give it our
all, we're going to feel good about that
as well, because ultimately we value
ourselves for the sincere pursuit. Um,
but you look at that and you say, did I
sincerely pursue this? Yes. Did I get
the actual desired outcome? Let's say
no. Cool. Then I'm going to formulate a
new hypothesis and I'm going to try
something new. If we realize in the
audit, we actually didn't make good use
of that time. We're not going to hide
from that. We're going to own it and
we're going to make adjustments just the
way that we would if we realized that we
didn't get the outcome that we wanted.
We're going to make adjustments. So, one
of the most important rules that I've
ever had in my life is getting out of
bed in 10 minutes or less. And the way
that I would celebrate myself, very
simple stuff. If I got out of bed in 10
minutes or less, I was like, "Man, you
said you were going to do it and you did
it." That's exactly how I would talk to
myself. And I would just really feel
good about that. And I would encourage
that in myself like, "Hey, man, you said
you were going to do it. Here we go. get
some momentum, go do your thing. I would
start doing it. It was something that
was, you know, goal pursuit is honorable
and exciting. So now I'm doing something
I'm excited about. I'm doing something I
really believe in and I am doing it
precisely because I got out of bed when
I said I was going to get out of bed.
And then if I audit that and I didn't,
let's say that I got out of bed in 10
minutes and 30 seconds and I would go to
my wife and I'd say, "Look, I need to
confess. Um, I didn't get out of bed in
10 minutes or less. I got out in the
11th minute or I got out in 12 minutes,
you know, whatever the case may I
remember there were times where like
right before I I was about to get out of
bed, I would just get lost in a train of
thought and I would end up laying in bed
for far too long. And I would tell her,
"Hey, I end up laying in bed for, you
know, six or seven extra minutes." Now,
that may seem ridiculous, but I used to
lay in bed for four and five hours a
day. So, that was an absolute gamecher
for me. So, rules and audit, rules and
audit, reward and punish. You do that
and you will be well on your way. Next
up.
Hey Tom, this is Ali from Morgan Hill,
California. Uh, I'm really struggling uh
to commit any time to reading. I started
the year with a goal to read at least 12
books and so far I only achieved four.
Uh, I fully believe that uh knowledge is
power and I need to read and educate
myself to achieve uh my goals but
despite that I keep procrastinating uh
my reading time. Uh if you have any
advice I uh I would really appreciate
it. Thank you.
All right man we we are now into my
absolute obsession which is skills have
utility.
The only reason to read those books is
because on the other side of that is
usable skill set. There's something that
you want to build. There's something
that you want to create. There's
something you want to be able to do.
There's people you want to be able to
outperform. there's something that you
want to accomplish that requires you to
read those books. Now, once you have
that and once you've embodied that
enthusiasm and taken that want from a
want to a need, now all of a sudden it's
like you couldn't stop me from reading
that book because I know by reading that
book and really using what's in it, I'm
going to be able to do something I
couldn't do before reading that book.
Skills have utility. Okay? So the idea
is just to get obsessed with what it is
that you want to create and then it's
are you reading the books that give you
the ability to go and create that. It's
what I call the only belief that
matters. Once you believe that time and
energy put into gaining a skill set
actually brings you improved skill set
then of course you're going to pour
yourself into doing that. So one of two
things is true for you. Reading may
trigger your insecurities and you feel
like I'm so [ __ ] dumb. I'm reading
this book. I have to read the same page
over and over and over. What is wrong
with me? I'm never going to get through
this. And so you get this negative loop
going in your head. So every time you
pick up a book, it's you having to stare
nakedly at your inadequacies. You're
having to deal with that negative
[ __ ] voice in your head that's
telling you that you're not good enough.
And so reading is some flashback to all
of these insecurities that you almost
certainly developed in childhood. And so
it's like, oh god, I don't want to face
that. or it's there's not actually
anything that you're really that excited
about and you're kind of picking books
at random and it's like people told you
that you should read it and they said
it's kind of cool and so you're reading
the book because you think that you
should and you have this goal.
All of those things are going to send
you into a death spiral. So one focus on
the only belief that matters to believe
to the core of your being that the
average human being is designed to learn
and grow. Okay. Then it's what do we
point that learning and growing at?
Because we know we're going to be able
to do it. Maybe some people do it more
easily than you. What the [ __ ] does that
matter? Absolutely nothing because most
people won't apply themselves. And then
if you think of yourself as valuable,
not for being smart, being good, being
worthy, reading fast, um getting better
than other people, and instead you think
of it as I want to sincerely pursue
something that matters to me, and I'm
going to reward myself for spending time
reading that book. And it's okay if I'm
uh not a fast reader. It's okay if I
learn more slowly than other people. On
a long enough timeline, I really can
learn this stuff. I really can get
better. And I really can influence the
real world. And I want to influence the
real world because of this goal that I'm
trying to achieve. And this goal really
matters to me. It's exciting. It's
honorable. And I'm going to give it my
everything. If you do that, then you
will find yourself wanting those books,
coveting it, and people won't be able to
tear you away. So there it is. All
right. who's up next.
Hello, my name is Peter Soror. I am from
California from the city of Aladena. And
my question to you, Tom, um in regards
to procrastination is I have been
unemployed for close to a year. It'll be
a year in February. Um and I thought I
would actually get up on my feet within
the few months and start working on my
YouTube channel. I just got certified to
be a personal trainer, so I thought it
would just happen right away. It hasn't.
And maybe I'm not trying hard enough,
and I feel like I can do more or I can
try to do um virtual workouts or just,
you know, upload content. However, I'm
finding myself daily stuck in bed and
not being able to get up early, getting
out at 12:00, feeling sorry for myself.
Um it's been really, really tough. I
don't know how to beat this
procrastination that um it I it has me
feeling stagnant, paralyzed. I don't
know what my next move will be. So, if I
can please get your help and what I
should do next or how to take action, I
really need your help and I really
appreciate it. Thank you so much.
All right. Few things kill productivity
and inspire procrastination more
aggressively than issues of insecurity,
a lack of self-worth. And this goes back
to what we were talking about in terms
of um the only belief that matters. A
huge [snorts] breakthrough for me was
realizing that I was not special. I was
not smarter than most people. I wasn't
more worthy. I was average. I was
hopelessly average. Now, that may sound
negative, but what it did was it let me
off the hook. And once I no longer
needed to protect this notion of um I am
who I am, I was born a certain way and
all of my value in life is around
walling that off and making sure that
the way that I was born makes me proud
of who I am and makes me successful in
the real world. And when I let go of
that and realize, oh wait, I'm playing
the wrong game. The game I should be
playing is how good can I get? So
instead of being something, it's about
becoming something. And by needing to
believe that I could be something better
than other people or I could become
something faster than other people, um
that was also a dangerous game. I just
needed to know I'm the average human.
Now that doesn't mean that I don't want
to beat people. I don't want to be
better than it. And I know that's very
um controversial for people and that is
a discussion for another day. I will
[ __ ] put chips on the fact that if
you're not prepared to compete, you've
got a whole another problem. But we'll
set that aside for now since I know I
just raised some people's hackles. Um
and I will say that for now what you
want to focus on is you're hopelessly
average. Amazing. And now it's about
recognizing that the average human being
is designed to learn and grow and to get
better. And so now it's a question of
how do we put enough time and energy
into something to actually get better at
that thing. And that really is the key
that we want to focus on. So shifting
away from um being something, stepping
into the idea of becoming something um
building all of your sense of self-worth
and pride around doing hard things
rather than accomplishing something
grand like you're showing up every day.
You're leaving it all out on the field.
You are doing hard things. you were
working towards something and playing
the long game. And that's the key here.
So, you said that when you started, you
thought this was all just going to
happen much more quickly and you're
getting demoralized. And I'm sure that
the longer this goes, the more sort of
in this death spiral you are, and the
more likely you are to not actually go
and do that thing. And you want to
recognize that this is a game of putting
out maximum effort for an obscene amount
of time before things click over. It's
crazy how long and hard you have to go
with something. And then here is the
really [ __ ] hard thing. You have to
be getting better. Like you have to
actually be improving. And so that just
brings us back to that investment in
changing our potential into skill set
because skill set has utility. And we
want to just be in that loop all the
time. All the time. One foot in front of
the other. Rules about getting out of
bed in the morning. Rules about going
after something. Rewarding oursel for
the sincere pursuit of that thing.
valuing ourselves for becoming something
instead of being something. And then
always, always, always focused on the
long term and understanding that just
you've got to put that energy in over
and over and over, constantly trying to
get new skills, new skills, not checking
off a list that you read that book or
that you created that video, but saying,
"What skill am I trying to get better
at? What am I trying to learn? What do I
need to do in order to create this thing
that I want to create?" And then the
juice, the game, the obsession has got
to be the pursuit of that thing. The
pursuit of that thing. So that you're
hype on yourself for showing up every
day and saying, "I'm going to be the
world's greatest online trainer." Plain
and simple. For me, that's so [ __ ]
exciting. Like, because remember, I
don't value myself for being the
greatest trainer of all time. I value
myself for trying with everything that I
have sincerely to become that person.
And as long as I'm having fun doing
that, which by the way I highly
encourage, you should love your [ __ ]
life. Then as long as I'm having fun
doing that, then I get what I get. But
at least I'm doing what I think is the
very purpose of life, which is to
transform potential into usable skill.
So let yourself off the hook. Don't
worry about whether this is hard or it's
taking a very long time. Just invest in
yourself every day unabashedly going
after it, finding joy in the process of
turning potential into skills.
All right. And next. Hi, Tom. My name is
John Lraange. I'm 32. I'm from Alberta,
Canada. I am a power engineer and
currently I am working on creating an
online business.
Procrastination for me is indecision.
uh trying to figure out what's most
important and act on that. Lately, I've
been working on
writing my goals down. And even then, I
feel like every time I have a very good
idea, what I believe to be a very good
idea, something that I feel like I'd be
passionate about, I write that down. I
work on it. I'm very active in it. And
then all of a sudden, I get another
great idea, and I divert my energy
towards that, and I procrastinate on the
next thing. And it has caused me many
many many delays
and
indecision. It's
it's a challenge and uh that's what I'm
focusing on. So for me procrastination
is indecision. Constantly waffling back
and forth on what I feel is the right
thing to work on. And uh
if I could figure out how to work on
that and how to narrow it down and
direct all my energy at one topic that I
feel is most valuable and most critical.
I think that's where I'll find my
success. Hopefully you can help.
Oh, I can help. Now the question becomes
um will you find the passion and the
enthusiasm for the process that I'm
about to lay out for you? Because it is
one of iteration. It's brutal. Um, the
only thing that I think people should
fear is standing still. So, I've often
said that running a thousand miles an
hour in the wrong direction is better
than standing still. And then people
say, "Tom, that's [ __ ] Now you're,
you know, so far down the road and
you've got to redo all that [ __ ] and
start moving in the other direction."
And that's where I suppose the analogy
lets me down because the reality is when
you're running in the wrong direction,
you're not moving away from getting
something right. You are the only time
that happens is when you refuse to
analyze the data.
Now, if somebody is closing their mind
because the farther they go in the wrong
direction, they're investing in that
position, they're telling people that
they're right and they're doubling down.
Yes, that moronic behavior is creating a
bigger and bigger problem for you. But
if when you're running in the wrong
direction, you're like, "Hey, I am
prepared. The second I have information
that tells me that this is the wrong
direction, I will learn from that and I
will immediately start going in the
right direction." Now, the good news is
you actually don't have to retread all
that ground that you went on. What
you're doing is now you're armed with a
new piece of information that's going to
let you, as Henry Ford says, begin again
more intelligently. So the full Henry
Ford quote is failure is merely the
opportunity to begin again more
intelligently. So what I want people to
understand is failure, mistakes, all of
that is the most informationrich data
stream you will ever encounter. Okay,
let me say that again. Failure is the
most information-rich data stream you
will ever encounter. you go and you do
something wrong and you realize why it
was wrong. Now once you understand, oh
my god, now I know why that was never
going to work in the beginning.
Now I can get going the way that I need
to go. And by the way, that new way that
you're going to go is almost certainly
also going to be a mistake. And you're
going to learn, oh [ __ ] okay, here's
another piece of the puzzle. And now
you're going in the right tur the writer
direction, the more accurate direction,
the more useful direction. And you're
going to get another piece of
information. Okay. So you want to start
thinking of mistakes and failure the way
that artificial intelligence thinks of
it. It's called a sample. So this wrong
direction is merely a sample. You tried
something. It's going to give you a
piece of data. That piece of data is
going to inform your next move which is
going to give you a piece of data which
is going to inform your next move. So
instead of thinking about these as right
or wrong mistakes, just [ __ ] decide.
Okay, let me say it again. just decide.
The only thing that's stopping you is
you're worried that it's wrong or you're
worried there's a better way. Let me
make it easy for you. It is wrong. There
is a better way. But you're never going
to know until you start moving. I
remember Marie Forlio came on my show
one time and she said, "You can't think
your way to understanding something. You
just have to act." I was like, "That's
[ __ ] brilliant." It is so true. And
her example was a dance class. She said
she learned more in 60 seconds of
actually dancing at a dance class about
whether or not she wanted to be a dancer
than she had in years of thinking about
it. The same is true in business. You're
going to learn infinitely more about
whether something works by just [ __ ]
trying it than you are by thinking about
it. And then from there, there's
something called ICE where you're going
to uh it's basically weighing the impact
of something versus how hard it is to
implement. And so you find that sweet
spot of what's the thing that takes the
least amount of energy for the biggest
amount of impact. And that's how you
prioritize. And so you can also just put
things in order of that and just blindly
follow ice and say, "Ah, that I learned
this from that. I learned that from
this. Oo, this one was a total bust, but
I got this piece of information." And
then you will get better and better and
better at ice as you go. But everybody
wants their [ __ ] to be amazing from the
jump. It's not. It's all going to suck.
Most of your ideas are going to be
moronic. Most of your execution is going
to be what a buffoon could do. But from
all of that, you start to actually get
good. And that's the key. Mistakes are
the most informationrich data stream you
will encounter. So go make some.
All right,
who's up? Greetings, Tom and everyone at
Impact Theory. I am Paula G, radio and
television host, voice talent, and
author. Okay, so procrastination.
I could have five things that I intend
on getting done throughout a particular
day and I'll get maybe number one, maybe
number two done and then the phone rings
and I'll justify in my head why I feel I
have to answer that phone call because
nine times out of 10 the phone call is
relevant to what it is that I do. It
could be a producer or or a guest or
something of that nature. So, it's
relative to what I have to do, but it's
not like there's a deadline like I've
got to answer this call because it's in
reference to a deadline. It's just in
reference to what I do. Next thing I
know, half the day is gone and I haven't
completed what it is that I need to
complete. So, what are your suggestions
for helping me to stay focused when that
phone rings to I don't know, ignore it.
Help me out, Tom. I appreciate you.
All right, boys and girls. Here is a PSA
from your dear friend Tom. Turn off all
notifications. Turn them off. All of
them. in my world, unless your ass is
dying. In fact, even if you're dying,
you can't get a hold of me. I am
literally unreachable. So, the only way
to reach me, I wish you guys could see
uh the person that's helping me produce
this episode right now who is nodding
because she knows how hard it is to get
a hold of me. Uh that is the God's
honest truth. And I do that because I
determine what my priorities are.
Because I know what my goal is. I'm in
that mistake laden, informationrich data
stream. I know what I need to be doing.
I need to try something, learn from it,
reformulate my hypothesis, try again. I
need to be in that stream of action.
Action, man. Not talking, not uh
pontificating.
I need to have a goal. I need to know
what the important things are that are
going to lead me to that goal. And then
I need to be doing, doing, doing every
day. So many people let other people
control their [ __ ] priorities. That's
madness to me. It is [ __ ] crazy. I
cannot believe that people check email
before they do something. Do you know
how many emails that I've responded to
in the last, let's make it crazy, in the
last month. Okay, think about it. How
many emails has Tom We have a staff of
like 21 people. How many emails have I
responded to? Five maybe in the last
month. 10 if it's just like crazy and
I'm forgetting something. That's in the
last month. Now, do I miss out on
opportunities because I don't check
email? Absolutely. But on balance, am I
way better off controlling my day,
controlling what I put my time and
energy into? The way I say it to people
is I want you to really ask yourself the
question when you check an email or in
this case you answer a call. What are
the odds that the person on the other
end of that phone knows exactly what you
should be doing at that moment to reach
your goals and they happen to call at
exactly the right moment. The answer is
zero. There is a 0% chance that that
person knows exactly what you need to be
doing and is calling at exactly the
right moment. So, I don't know if it's
FOMO or if it's just the desire to not
have to struggle with what people are
struggling with that makes them respond
to um notifications, but [ __ ]
notifications. I have them all shut off
on my phone. Not I literally I could be
staring at my phone. I wouldn't know if
somebody's called me. I have to click
into the phone app to see if somebody
called. I have to click into my text app
to see if somebody is trying to reach
me. Like, I just don't [ __ ] with
notifications. That [ __ ] is crazy. I
don't let other people control my time.
I don't let them control my focus. Set
aside some period at the end of the day
or something where you go through and
look at email. I get it. People are
going to look at email, but Jesus, you
should work. I'm going to say if you
haven't clocked six hours doing your
thing controlling your own agenda before
you start letting other people influence
your agenda, there's a real problem. And
I get it. I'm even talking to the people
out there like my sister who I love more
than you can imagine. But oh dear god,
the amount of meetings that she has. I'm
like, "This is crazy. You can't do this.
You You cannot do this. This is nuts."
So, boys and girls, no notifications.
You got to get some structure on your
day. It's madness. You should know
better than anybody what you need to do
to reach your goals.
And that's that. I don't want to get off
this horse. Like, I want to keep going.
I could really get crazy, but I'll stop
there. All right, that was it. That's
our last question. All right, boys and
girls, there it is. Stop
procrastinating. There is [ __ ] that you
want to accomplish in this world. There
are goals out there that, trust me, if
you spend the time leaning into them,
they will matter to you. They will
matter a lot. It is only a two criteria
um two-part criteria for determining
your goal. One, does it excite you? Two,
is it honorable? Does it serve you and
other people? If it serves other people
as well as yourself, and you are [ __ ]
amped about it, all the other stuff is
going to start falling into place. The
putting rules in place, springing out of
bed in the morning, really going after
the acquisition of skills, facing your
inadequacies headon, turning off all
your notifications, not letting other
people control your time, knowing what
the most important thing is. is you
could be working on in this moment
because you have failed so many times
before without a loss of self, without a
loss of enthusiasm. You know what the
thing is that you should be trying to
see if it works next. And when you get
that magical formula put in place and
you wake up every day attacking your
goals because you want to be the
greatest of all time,
the amount that you can achieve with
your life is extraordinary. even if you
never become one of the greats because
it doesn't matter. What matters is the
sincere pursuit. But you're not
sincerely pursuing something. If you're
laying in bed, if you're talking on the
phone, if you're answering an email,
you're not sincerely pursuing your
goals. That is the greatest joy that I
could offer to anybody is to really
believe in what you're pursuing and then
to leave it all out on the field. The
physics of being a human. Trust me,
there is a deepseated
program running in your brain that wants
you to do hard [ __ ] in the service of
something that you believe in. And when
you start doing that, baby, woo, life
gets [ __ ] awesome. All right,
everybody. Thank you for joining me.
Thank you for the questions. That's so
huge. And I know that people put
vulnerability into those bad boys. And I
am eternally grateful as is hopefully
everybody else watching. Guys, until
next time, be legendary. Take care. be
talking all about one of my favorite
topics in this world. How to overcome
any obstacle. No matter what it is
you're trying to do in your life, I
promise you the ability to stay in a
solutionoriented mindset and to go over,
under, through, around whatever the case
may be, any obstacle, that is going to
be the key to winning.