Video summary
The video explores how ancient Stoic philosophy offers a timeless framework for battling modern addictions and regaining self-mastery. The host argues that while contemporary society is saturated with systems designed to hijack our attention and trigger impulses, the core struggle against compulsion has existed for millennia. Stoicism provides not just theoretical advice but practical tools used by thousands to break free from slavery to substances or bad habits. Through personal anecdotes, such as a musician's journey from heavy drinking after a career-defining trip in New York to sobriety through small habit changes like choosing water over alcohol, the transcript illustrates that recovery is often about recognizing when an urge feels different and dangerous rather than acting on it immediately.
Central to this approach is the Stoic principle of distinguishing between what we can control—our own responses—and external circumstances or urges themselves. The narrative highlights stories like physicist Richard Feynman's sudden refusal to drink despite having no prior alcohol problem, demonstrating that true freedom comes from objecting in advance to subjugation by any urge. This concept extends beyond substances to include digital distractions, junk food, and codependent relationships; if an impulse dictates your actions rather than you dictating them, you are not truly free but a slave. The video emphasizes that discipline is the essence of freedom because without self-command over one's emotions and desires, nothing else in life can be achieved effectively or ethically.
Furthermore, the transcript delves into the psychological gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it day by day. It explains that simply acknowledging a problem does not equate to feeling its severity enough to act on it immediately; there is often a dangerous delay where one convinces themselves they can handle an urge later or down the road. The solution proposed involves shifting from viewing recovery as a permanent state starting today, which creates immense pressure, to focusing entirely on the present moment—persisting in good habits and resisting bad ones for just one hour or one day at a time. By stacking these small moments of self-control together, individuals can build lasting sobriety without relying on magical thinking about when they will finally be "cured."
Ultimately, the video concludes that character determines destiny, meaning that who you become is defined by your daily choices to persist in virtuous actions and resist temptations. The Stoic virtues of temperance and self-discipline are presented as deterministic forces that enhance whatever a person does; if complemented by these traits, even difficult tasks can be accomplished with grace under pressure. Whether facing the aftermath of a hospital stay or navigating social media triggers, the ability to pause before reacting allows one to decide how an event will age in memory and impact others positively. The final message is that true mastery over oneself requires rigorous daily practice rather than passive knowledge, ensuring that individuals remain fit to be good parents, leaders, and useful members of society regardless of external chaos or internal cravings.
Read the full video transcript
We're all trying to get clean from
something. [music] Everyone has some
form of sobriety they're trying to get
to. Some habit or compulsion [music]
or addiction that they're trying to
break. Well, what if the secret to
sobriety, to getting clean, to breaking
[music]
free of this form of slavery actually
dates back more than 2,000 [music]
years. Sure, we live in a modern world
where temptation has been turned into a
multi-billion dollar industry where
[music] we're surrounded by systems
designed to hijack our attention and
channel our worst [music] impulses, but
people have always struggled with this.
And stoicism has been a philosophy
that's helped thousands and thousands
[music] of people get clean, break bad
habits, regain that self-mastery that
the good life
>> [music]
>> requires. I'm Ryan Holiday. I've been
writing about stoicism now for almost
two decades, but but like you, I have my
addictions, I have my [music]
temptations, and stoicism has helped me
in my journey of sobriety, of being the
person that [music] I want to be. And
that's what we're going to talk about in
today's episode from some people who
have used stoicism to get clean, get
sober, and most importantly, to stay so.
And hopefully, [music] it will help you,
too.
>> What was getting sober like for you?
>> For me, it was like I I played a show in
New York. It was my first time in New
York. It was like one of those little
shows that [music] I nobody got paid.
You kind of came up there and I was
like, all right, I I I have to go to New
York. And little did I know the show
made zero difference in my career, but
that whole experience changed my life.
And I I got up there and again, alcohol.
And as soon as my feet hit the ground,
got out of the car, I just started
drinking. [music]
And I drank so much that day. I drank
more than I you know, have ever drank
before. And I woke up the next day no
idea what happened. And [music] that's
such a scary feeling, too, especially as
a female, to just let your guard down.
And that especially where I was staying,
I was not in a safe part of town. Like
we had no money, me and my band, so we
were like, you [music] know, and that
was just like a hangover for me that
that was heavier than anything I'd ever
experienced before. And that lasted for
[music] days. I remember the next day, I
was like, "Hey, can somebody grab me a
drink?" We were at Penn Station, and
they came back with a beer and I was
like, "I meant a water."
>> [snorts]
>> Maybe they just assumed.
>> They just assumed. And so I had a beer,
I took one sip of it and I put it down.
Like,
It just It tasted different to me.
>> Sure.
>> And you know, my motto was just always
like the best way to kill a hangover is
start drinking again, you know, kind of
like counter balance it, which is super
dumb. But that was it. That was the last
drink I ever had, and I remember I got
home and it just seemed like everything
in my life was just like kind of falling
apart a little bit, [music] and I was
just like, "What am What am I doing?"
kind of thing. And I'm like, "I I have
an issue." And everybody's like, "Oh,
you're too young, whatever. You should
chill out." [music] But I'm like, No,
I'm like I I seriously I am drinking
more than I should be able to drink, and
it's like taking over my life, and I'm
doing stuff I don't want to do. And And
that's a problem, too, that we kind of
have. I think it's getting better, where
people are starting to realize you don't
just have to be some 40-year-old man
that lost his job and just wakes up and
>> [music]
>> pours Jack in his cereal in the morning.
Like, there's sobriety and like
alcoholism, like it looks different for
everybody.
>> Sure.
>> And I I was just like, "All right, let's
let's try not to drink. [music] Let's
just like work on this." And I was like,
"All right, I'm not going to drink for a
month." And then, you know, like that
slowly started change. And so, you know,
I had to change [music]
up my habits, for sure. It was like,
"You're going to be that person that
loves sparkling water. We're going to do
it."
>> Mhm.
>> And now, you know, I do. But it was just
like things like that. Like, [music]
"All right, you got to have something If
you have to have something in your hand,
like make it water."
>> Yeah.
>> And certain little things like that. And
at first it was hard, but you know, I
[music] think sometimes it's harder now
because like the first month you're
like, "Ugh, you can still taste [music]
it. You know why you're not drinking."
And then, you know, 6 months, you know,
I could still remember, even a year I
could remember why I got sober. But
[music] as time goes on, you start to
think, well, have I changed? Am I a
little different now? Can I handle it?
Can I just go have a beer or glass of
wine or whatever? And then
I'll have a dream that I drank something
and it's always awful. It never tastes
good and as soon as I drink it, I'm
[music] devastated.
>> There's a story about the physicist
Richard Feynman. I tell it in Discipline
is Destiny. He's uh at Caltech one day
going about his business, walking across
campus, and he just feels this like
sudden pull for a drink. He didn't think
he had an alcohol problem. He wasn't an
alcoholic. It wasn't negatively
affecting his life. But it just the the
suddenness of the urge and the sense
that he should fulfill the urge and that
that was the most important [music]
thing. He's just like, "Hard no. That's
not going to be me. That's not going to
be my life." And so he gave up drinking
right then and [music] there. Maybe
that's what saves him from alcoholism or
addiction. Like the Stoics, he didn't
want to be a slave to something. He was
suspicious of the urge. He was objecting
in advance to the subjugation to that
urge, the powerlessness to not be able
to do something. And so while it was in
his power, he stopped. And I think we
should think about that, whether it's
the caffeine you can't go without, the
websites you can't stop checking, your
relationship with your phone, junk food,
anything that you can't not do, the
Stoics would say, is something [music]
you should look at with that kind of
suspicion and aversion. And if possible,
I mean, ideally, you quit it right then
and there. It's going to be easier for
some things than others. [music]
Uh but the question is, what vices or
temptations or urges are you going to
allow to be in charge of you in your
life?
>> [music]
>> What Stoicism really is is this a
collaborative be positive and
reflective. Pause and reflect. Like ask
yourself, how am I going to feel about
this later? How's this decision going to
age? What are the consequences for other
people going to be here? It's again, you
can feel you can feel it. You wouldn't
be human if you didn't.
But you don't have to act on it. That's
powerful. I feel like a lot of us, I
don't know about you guys, for me, I
think of so many times that you're
talking that I have reacted or sent that
email or sent that text in anger and I
really wish I would have taken that
advice and now that you reflect later
you're like, "Wow, I wish I would have
paused." Yeah, I would say there's very
few social media posts that I have
written on the fly that afterwards I'm
like, "I'm so glad I posted that." Yeah.
You know, like if I if I sit down and I
think about it and I schedule it, you
know, those tend to age well. It's
whatever I'm saying when I'm a little
worked up, when
I haven't
totally thought it through, you know. So
so I think stoicism is stoicism trying
to be less impulsive, less uh immediate.
Marcus Aurelius is the emperor of a
large swap of territory. And more
importantly, the Stoics would say he was
in command of himself. And there are a
lot of powerful important people, people
of a lot of authority, who are not
masters of themselves, the Stoics would
say. And and that that's actually a the
greatest empire would be that, to be
under your own power.
>> If you have an FSA account with your
employer, you know that it's stressful,
right? You you put the money in there,
you don't want it to go to waste. And
what you also might not know is that
there are tons of [music]
healthcare-related items that you can
use your FSA account to purchase. And
today's sponsor, FSA Store, makes it
super simple to find all those products
in one [music] place. Actually, I didn't
even know this before FSA Store became a
sponsor, but there's all sorts of things
you can buy with your FSA
>> [music]
>> that aren't just over-the-counter meds.
FSA Store sent us this uh Supergoop Glow
Oil SPF. It's It's uh sunscreen that my
wife and I have were already using. The
FSA Store makes using your FSA [music]
super simple. If it's in the store, it's
100% eligible. And they have more than
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>> [music]
>> And you can use your FSA card right at
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not submitting receipts or crossing your
fingers for approval. Just visit
fsastore.com/dailystoic [music]
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Thanks to FSA Store, where everything's
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video.
The essence of Stoic philosophy is being
in command of yourself. In fact, Seneca
says, "No one is fit to rule who is not
first master of themselves." And the
reason we're not masters of ourselves is
we give that power over to someone or
something else, right? Drugs, alcohol,
cigarettes, codependency. That's the
tragedy of addiction. Not only
is it bad for the person, but often we
can become addicted to our relationship
with different addicts, right?
Codependency being one of the worst
forms of that. The Stoics that It was
about being in control of yourself,
right? Not your urges, not your desires.
And the the Stoics look at Alexander the
Great. Marcus Aurelius does He looks at
Alexander the Great as someone who is
super powerful, but not actually
powerful cuz he can't stop. There's
never enough. Seneca himself actually
defines poverty as as not having too
little, but wanting more. If you More is
all you need, as the great Metallica
song uh Master of Puppets goes, that is
such a a dark and slavish place to be.
So, the reason we battle our addictions,
the reason we try to get clean, the
reason we practice discipline, so we can
be fit to be good parents, to be
leaders, to be bosses. Like, if we're
not in command of ourselves, if
something or someone, some urge or some
substance, if that's really what's
ruling our life,
that is not a good place to be.
Discipline equals freedom. That's Jocko
Willink's [snorts] phrase, and he's
totally right. Discipline is freedom.
Because if you don't have discipline,
you're not free. I know that sounds like
a paradox, but if you're not in command
of yourself, it means something else is
in command of you. Your urges, your
desires, your impulses, your emotions.
He's saying that if I being by having a
practice, you have true freedom. And I
think that's totally right, and the
Stoics would have completely agreed. But
I think there's also a deeper, bigger
argument. That That's what I'm trying to
make in Discipline is Destiny. The idea
is that to become who you're meant to
become, to do what you're meant to do,
you have to have discipline. There was
this ancient expression that the
character is fate, or character is is
destiny. That the character you
cultivate determines who you're going to
be, what you're going to be able to do.
And so it goes with discipline. So what
When I say discipline is destiny, what
I'm what I'm trying to get you to
realize, not only nothing is possible
without discipline, everything is
enhanced by this discipline. Think of
the people you admire. It's their grace
under pressure. It's their humility
despite their enormous success or power
or wealth. It's their restraint. [music]
That's That's that command of
themselves. Yes, discipline is freedom,
and and you will find that the more
rigorous and regimented you are about
how you live your life, which is what
Jocko was telling you about, you will
live a better life. But to become who
you're meant to become, to do what
you're meant to do, you need to have
discipline. You need the virtue of
discipline, that cardinal virtue of
discipline.
>> [music]
>> When did you find Stoicism?
>> I found it through sobriety.
>> Interesting.
>> Now, I'm talking about the textbook
version of Stoicism. I had always
operated, and this is what I learned
about myself through reading, you know,
Meditations, Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus,
I'm a huge fan of. They couldn't be more
different in the way they lived their
lives or what life had presented them,
but they had the same type philosophy.
>> Yeah.
>> It's really interesting, right? So, we
are not our outside situations. We are
how we choose to respond to our outside
situations. And when I I used to think
that way a lot and I used to kind of
daydream sometimes. I get teased about
it. And then I realized this is one of
the things that's going to keep me sober
because this is I know this to be true.
Like I have that knowing whether I'm
right or wrong. I know for myself this
type of philosophy [music]
is going to help me in times where I
cannot see straight, in times where I'm
having a really rough time because
you know, I look at that situation that
happened to me in the hospital.
Boy, going into the hospital I was like,
this is the worst thing that's ever
happened to me, ever. And it's going to
affect a lot of people I work with.
They're going to be jobless. They're
going to be, you know, and I was like,
"Doo doo doo doo doo doo whatever." I
get out and I'm almost 8 years sober
now, God willing, and I
>> [music]
>> think that was by far the best thing
that has ever happened to me. So,
I learned a lot [music] from that. So,
this is this ties into a higher power
thing is like, I really don't know
what's good
>> Yeah.
>> or bad and I'm I'm holding up air quotes
here because I really don't.
>> Yes. [music]
>> You know, something can be, you know,
we're not dumb. We can realize when
we're like, "Oh, you know, like I broke
my shoulder. That freaking hurts. That
that really sucks." [music] But, that
could lead to something that, you know,
really wonderful. And this has put me
stoicism and my sobriety and the way my
life has gone over the last few years,
which is not like I thought it would,
kind of in I'm not even going to say in
the worst way cuz I don't believe that
now. I'm now in a place where I can be,
I think, a lot more useful to a lot more
people.
>> I think when people hear that it's like
it's not good or bad, you go to this
sort of moral place. It's it's more like
it's not positive or negative. It just
is. And then you get to decide, by the
way, time will tell whether it was
positive or negative.
>> [music]
>> The secret to life, Epictetus said, was
[music] two words. Two things explain
everything you should do in all
situations. And he said those two words
were simple,
>> [music]
>> persist and resist. Meaning some things
you have to endure, you have to do even
though they're really hard. And then
other things you have to stop doing
>> [music]
>> even though it's really hard to do them.
Persist and resist. He was really
talking about the virtue of temperance
or self-discipline, self-mastery, right?
And his point [music] was that if we
could do that, if we could persist in
some things and resist other things, we
could become what we're truly capable of
becoming. This virtue of temperance,
[music] self-discipline, self-command,
it's everything. It's deterministic and
predictive. It will make you better at
what you do. It will make whatever you
do great if complemented by [music]
self-command and self-discipline.
>> I mean, isn't that the the problem with
like
>> [music]
>> self-help and everything that you can
read all the self-help books. You can
read all the stoicism books.
>> [music]
>> But you still have to do it.
>> Yeah.
>> You can have all that knowledge, but are
what are you doing in your real life to
[music] to show that?
>> With things specifically with the like
addiction, there's there's a couple
layers here, which is like one, you can
know you have a problem
>> Mhm. [music]
>> but not believe you really have a
problem. Right? So there's there's like
the knowing, "Hey, I know this isn't
working for me. I know I got to quit
this." But then [music] you can say
like, "Later."
>> Yeah.
>> Or down the road. Or it's not as bad as
other people. Or I've got it under my
control. So you have that element of
just like you know it, but you don't
really feel it, you know? Or you feel
it, but you don't know it, whatever it
is.
>> [music]
>> And then there's the part where it's
like then you know what you need to do.
>> Mhm. [music]
>> And then the actual doing of it
day-to-day is the the next part of it.
It's like, "Hey, I know these are the
these are the [music]
the healthy habits. These are the
practices. These are the things that
keep me sober, that keep me on the right
path." And then [music]
are you doing it day to day or are you
making excuses or are you making
exceptions and then that's when you get
yourself into trouble. So, there's the
[music] there's the knowing and then
really knowing and being ready. Like, as
you said, you wanted to get sober for a
while,
>> [music]
>> but it's not until some magical point in
2023 where you're like, "Okay, now it's
really really [music] really the time."
And then, just cuz you know it's the
time,
that doesn't help you right [music] now.
Three years later where you have to do
it again today and tomorrow [music] and
the day after.
>> Yeah, it's just 1 day at a time really.
And And that's a mindset that I shifted
was don't just say, "Okay, it's going to
start today and last forever." It's
going to start today and it's going to
just be today and then it's going to be
tomorrow [music]
and then I mean, sometimes you go hour
by hour in the beginning.
>> not going to do it right now.
>> Right now.
>> And as long as you stack enough of those
on top of each other,
you're there.
>> Mhm.