4.2M Q&A - Settling Down, Being A Feminist & Sleeping With An Ex

What's happening people? Welcome back to the show. It is a 4.2 million subscriber Q&A episode and as is tradition asked for questions from Twitter and YouTube and Instagram and there were lots. So, let's get into it. stealthing through 21. What's going on with all these group episodes in the studio? Yeah, I guess I kind of launched this studio and at no point actually got to tell you that it was happening. Sort of unceremonious beginning. There was no ribbon cutting thing. And uh I'm just having a lot of fun having multiple guests in the studio with me. I you know, for a long time, Modern Wisdom's been very serious, meaningful conversations. me talking to world experts, you know, 1,100 episodes like that. And I still love doing that, but sometimes it can feel a little bit like homework when it's very serious all the time. And these hang style episodes, the one that I did with Huberman, McCusker, and Sigura for me was one of the most fun conversations I've ever had. I thought that was awesome. I think that the episodes I do with George and Shawn have been so much fun as well. The debate stuff is cool because it's not necessarily people on opposite sides of a discussion. One of the problems of most debates, at least for me on the internet, is that it becomes a slanging match. Everyone's there as basically a verbal blood sport to see who can [ __ ] who up the most. And you don't actually get to arrive at consensus at the end. What you get is a bunch of people who shouted and you don't actually know what the conclusion is or the takeaway because no one's going to seed ground. No one ever says, "Oh, actually that's that's an that's an interesting insight. I never thought of that because they know that they're supposed to be in opposition. Whereas the conversations that I'm trying to put together are people who have slightly differing perspectives on the same topic. And that means that maybe they can actually develop each other's worldviews as opposed to it just being this like Beyblade. Remember Beyblades where you like gripped it and ripped it and it span around and everybody got destroyed. In the end, everybody got destroyed. I don't want that. Uh I'm just having a lot of fun. I want to have a lot of fun on the show, especially this year. You know, it took six months to build this studio and I love being here and I'm not going to do that and not invite my friends around to hang out and have a good time and have a laugh. Also, if I'm being honest, I think that the sort of grind slop era of pushing people to always always only ever really focus on personal development and self-improvement at the expense of everything else. I'm personally feeling a little bit of fatigue with that and that's still amazing for me in Horoszi to sit down and talk and get people to lock in. But it's nice when there's like you you have your starter, your main course, and your dessert. And the dessert's a little bit of a treat, right? I'm these are just treats. I'm giving you a a a small it's a canop. It's like a little dessert canope. Every so often I'm just flicking little bits of chocolate sauce at you. And I'm having a lot of fun with them. I'm enjoying them. I think they rule. I think in the era of AI, people are already drowning in a lot of information and the number one use for LLMs and for chats are uh like coaching advice for people what they're going through. Do we need to have even more more of that or is it going to be nice to have a bit of a safe space where people can just relax and and listen and if I don't take notes of every single episode like you may not learn anything from the human sagura makoskar episode, right? like you genuinely may not learn anything from it, but you'll have a good time. And honestly, I think that's that's worth an awful lot. Anyway, I'm loving them. I'm really enjoying them. I like sitting down and having the serious conversations, but I'm just I'm playing around with new formats. I appreciate you guys being patient. I I understand as well I'm probably going to lose some audience members. There's some people who just want to hear me and another person do the, you know, dark furrowed brow serious thing. And uh there's going to be a some people are not going to like it, but I've always followed my instincts with the show. I've always really tried to just do what I wanted. Uh because if I'm having fun and I'm enjoying it and it resonates with me, I have to assume that it will resonate with you too or I hope it does. And uh that's what I'm doing. That's my master plan. My master plan is to have fun uh and to try and do stuff that's different. I don't know really of any other shows or many of the shows that are trying to put it together in this way. and this feels like a a bit of white space that I can move into which I want to because I enjoy it and also it's something that I don't know maybe is different. It's different. Maybe you can't get it elsewhere. So that's my that's my thinking. I hope you enjoy it. Uh I'm always open to feedback. So just comment on stuff that you like, stuff that you don't like, people you want to see, people you don't want to. Uh I am going to try and put Neil deGrasse Tyson and Mark Norand on a round table. I'm going to try and put uh Eric Weinstein with uh Rick Glassman on a round table together. Uh I'm going to try and do Bert Chryser with Brian Johnson and just see what h I'm going to pull a bunch of pins on grenades, throw them in the middle of that table that's right there. This is the same studio, but it's the same room at least, by the way. Uh and also, I'm sorry, the new studio thing, unceremonious launch. I should have I should have I should have done a vlog. We kind of tracked it and then I went away on tour and then I came back and did 10 episodes in 5 days. It was all a bit it was it was chaotic and stuff, but it's I I'll do a video. I'll do a video and I'll explain this vision in full, but that's what I'm trying to do. I really hope that you guys love it. Um I'm having a lot of fun doing these episodes. They get me excited and I can still lock in do the wisdom core, you know, modern wisdom verse stuff. Still got that in the locker. That'll still be coming. Then the debate things I think are fun as well because it's not necessarily people disagreeing. I'm aware you might be mad that you didn't get the blood that you thought you would when you heard debate. Well, what's a debate if all of the people are agreeing? You go, well, they don't fully agree and they get to build on each other's arguments as opposed to just tear them down. And that to me suits my nervous system, but also feels like a more productive way to have a discussion with people to see seriously what they can get out of it. So anyway, that's that's what I'm doing. That's my master plan. I hope you enjoy it. Iaro Dilva, my ex contacts me to sleep with her, but she feels guilty about it the next day. Do I stop? Going to make an assumption, Aaro, that you only feel guilty about her feeling guilty. Not that you feel guilty about doing it. Sounds to me like that's the issue. Maybe you don't even feel guilty about her feeling guilty. You just you're sort of you've noticed it. You're slightly concerned. I consenting adults, she wants to do it. You have no obligation not to do it. I get the sense it's probably better for your karma. You know, the little conscience karma score. It's obviously playing on your mind, right? Well, that's not a zero cost activity. The fact that you're thinking about it enough to submit this as a question. Uh you've already piped it for a good while when you were together. You've done enough breakup sex. It sounds I reckon move allow her to move on. Even if you don't feel guilty about doing it, you might start feeling guilty about her feeling guilty. And like a genu general rule of thumb is to treat every girl that you're with as if you were going to marry her or treat her like the girl that you're going to marry, like how you want that girl to be treated by somebody else. And if you were to find out that the girl you get with next had been mistreated and her ex kept sleeping with her and all of this stuff, you'd probably feel a bit bad. It's the u it's like the golden rule. It's a golden rule of dating. Like treat others as you would wish your next partner to be treated. Something like that. Anyway, I you've piped it enough. Give it a rest. Ra Rachel Lordgavin, what was your favorite part about your recent tour in Australia? Australia was awesome. Thank you to everyone who came out and in New Zealand and in Bali. Uh I got to see Adelaide for the first time and Perth for the first time and that was great. And um I really loved Perth. It's super cool. I'd never flown to that side of Australia. It's 5 hours away. The routing was awful. Uh, for the people that didn't watch the vlog, we went from one side of Australia to the other and back with shows on every day in the space of 48 hours. It was stupid. Like, we ruined the entire trip just to get to Perth. Uh, but it was worth it. That was awesome. I have to say Brisbane is one of the coolest cities on the planet. It's Everyone's fit. Everyone's fit and hot and tanned. And there's the best gym in the world there, which is Total Fusion Platinum. it it's out of this world. And the even the architecture is nice and there hanging gardens coming out the side of buildings and there's a waterfront and it's great. So Brisbane awesome. Perth awesome. And uh I mean it's the second biggest show I've ever done. We sold out the Darling Harbor Theater in Sydney. We me uh it was sick. It was really really cool. I can't wait to go back. Amir Deir Dag, when do you know it's time to settle? Being single is fun. PS. See you in Dublin in October. I will see you in Dublin, presumably as you've rattled your way through some more of Ireland. Uh, by the way, if you haven't got tickets for my UK and Ireland tour, you can get those at chriswillson.live. Dublin's sold out, so you can't go to Dublin, but there's some tickets available for everywhere else, London and and Edinburgh and a ton of other spaces, and you can get them now. Chris Williamson. Um, when do you know it's time to settle? When you feel like it. Kind of. I think trying to prescribe forcing yourself to settle down will just result in you resenting the settling. You don't want to do that. If you try and, you know, reverse engineer force your way into doing something that you don't feel like doing, that's a that's a pretty guaranteed way to self-destruct at some point. Uh there is a great line about dating which is you can't negotiate desire. And I think the same thing is kind of true here which is you can't even negotiate your own desire. Uh you can't convince somebody else to find you attractive if they don't. But you can't convince yourself to want to do something if you don't. Like how many times have you been in a relationship with somebody that on paper is all of the things that you want in a partner and for some reason that you know this is when people say the spark's not there. it's just not quite right. I don't know what it is. I don't feel compelled or whatever by them. You're trying to dictate to yourself, hey, feel this way and you don't. And if you're saying being single is fun, I imagine it's very fun in in Dublin. You're you're denying yourself the thing that you're enjoying in an attempt to try and do a thing that you think that you should. Now, is there a limit to this? Probably. If you've run through half of Dublin, might be time to give it a bit of a break. Uh, but at least if it's not on your radar, if it's only on your radar because you feel obliged to, I don't think that it's something that you need to think about because it's just going to result in failure. Now, that's where you do the selfwork. That's when you spend some time journaling and you think, well, maybe I'm scared of intimacy. Maybe I've got a concern about settling down. Maybe it feels constraining and constricting to me because that's how I felt as a child or I'm not happy in my uh in my job outside of this. I don't feel fully I don't feel fully seen at work or whatever it might be. There's a lot of reasons about what might be going on there. Anyway, you do it when you feel like it. That's it. Thomas Goodfellow, are you a comi met? I often wonder if hyper successful people are. Yes, I am. Game recognizes game as they say. Uh for the people that don't know, comt is a genetic polymorphism snip variant something and it the metmmet variant is the most extreme version of it because you've got two copies. So I think it's the same as being double A and this basically means that you clear catakolamines and adrenaline more slowly and you have a higher dopamine baseline. So if some sort of stressful chaotic situation occurs, it takes longer for you to come back down to baseline. Um I would make a horrible Navy Seal but a pretty good artist for instance. Whereas if things are predictable, uh relatively routinized, quite peaceful, you can operate and lock in very very well. You pay a lot of attention to detail. This is kind of one of the polymorphisms that's associated with the classic insecure overachiever overinker archetype. And uh yeah, I think hypers successful people, you got to pay a lot of attention to stuff. You know, the [ __ ] maxing aside, [ __ ] maxing is somebody that could be the guy on the right being the guy on the left. Like you have all of the capacity to overthink and you're choosing not to. Like or else you're just incapable. It's the same thing as the Peterson line about um having the capacity for danger and not using it or having the capacity for aggression and not using it is different to being unable to be aggressive. Like that's those two things aren't the same. And the same thing's true here that even if it's often optimal to try and simplify stuff and not over complicate it, that is going from a I could over complicate it and I choose not to and you get to select the very few areas that you do complicate because they're the ones that have got the highest return versus I I can't complicate. I can't think that deeply. That being said, you don't need a comty metmmet variant to be a thoughtful person that pays attention to [ __ ] I would guess a lot of people are. Um I certainly know a bunch of my friends have at least one copy of CompTI. That being said, it is not I don't even know if it's 5149 beneficial. It just is. Like having that com variant just is. It requires you to adapt your lifestyle in a different way. That's why I don't like getting into beef on the internet. I'm just not built for it. I'm not built to have a like I'm not built to be Ben Shapiro, right? Or Piers Morgan or something. What did I say at the top of the show about the new style of debate? Like my nervous system just I don't really feel like people shouting and screaming at each other while I'm sat in a room. I just want everyone to kind of build on it and sort of be friends and get along. Like that feels better to me. Not only because that's my disposition, but it's my predisposition as well. Uh, and trying to work around it, trying to fight against it, I would lose. So, yes, I am. And I think some hyper successful people are too, but it's absolutely not all sunshine and rainbows. In fact, it might be more rain may maybe more rainbows than sunshine if that's what it is. Whatever. It might it might suck more than it more than it's a beneficial uh advantage. And I'm working through it. Chore Chimmore. What is the smallest hill you would die on? What is the smallest hill I would die on? Hold luggage is a scop meant to keep you poor and late. Is definitely one. And the most important part of a bed is the pillow. Those are the two those are the two smallest hills that I'm I I'm yet to find a trip where you need to take hold luggage unless you're taking something commercial, right? Like we we had to fly. I got I got [ __ ] on the on the tour vlog because I had hold luggage with me. It contained the merch. All right. It contained all the merch that we were putting up so that people could see what they were going to buy and then the actual stuff that they bought was shipped there. Give me a break. Good pillow, bad bed, good night's sleep. Bad pillow, good bed, average night's sleep. Most important part of the bed's the pillow. Two hills I'll die on. I I don't care what you say. Not that Sexton. I wonder if this is James Ston. Uh, did you get much backlash for your Louis Manosphere episode? Yes, I did. Yes, I did. I managed to unite the feminists and the manosphere in agreement that the worst part of Louis Thuru's manosphere documentary was him coming on my podcast. The day after the documentary dropped, all most of the people that were involved in the documentary weren't tweeting necessarily about the documentary, but were doing big diet tribes about my conversation with Louie and calling me out. It's been I've got [ __ ] whiplash this year from trying to work out where I'm supposed to be positioned. Whether I'm in the manosphere or a feminist, whether I'm a right-wing bigot or a left left-wing bluepilled cuck, I I I can't work it out based on other people's opinions of me. Uh I did Tucker Carlson show in November and there was this huge breakdown, this like massive essay by a a prominent writer uh that said I was riddled with bluepilled thinking and infected with feminist lies. That was interesting. And then January, me and Bartlett got in bother for talking about birthright decline. And I was a misogynist, a manosphere, red pill, right-wing, I was a Luxmaxer, which almost feels like a a compliment. Uh, and then did the episode with Louis and I was uh a feminist again. So, I'm I actually getting ripped around. Like, my neck hurts from trying to hold on as I get jiggled about on this roller coaster. Uh, I got a lot of backlash because it looks like I'm supposed to adhere to one side, which I don't, and you don't get any support from the side that only recently was calling you out. So, I enjoyed that conversation. I enjoyed that conversation with Louie. I don't agree with everything that he said. I don't agree with the way that he framed everything inside of the episode. I thought he missed some stuff out that would have been really important to have gotten round to. Uh I still had an interesting conversation with him. I had an interesting conversation with Bernie Sanders, right? Bernie Sanders who said, "I think it's a big problem when talking about birthright decline." That's Bernie Sanders, right? That's Mr. Left. Mr. Left. I I'm going to continue to have the conversations I want to have. I'm really trying my best to do them in a balanced way. I'm trying to put this across with people that I think act in good faith, understand what they're talking about. I'm not going to agree with everything that they say. And if I get pattern matched as being manosisphere adjacent or as being an apologist for feminist thinking or something, so be it. Like I I I can't spend my time trying to explain to people my position if they don't care and don't have the capacity to understand what I'm doing. The people that listen to this show, I think have a really good understanding of what I'm trying to do. And the show's for them. The show is for you guys. If you're this deep, whatever, 15 minutes, 20 minutes deep into a solo Q&A episode, the show is for you. And if somebody sees a clip of me where I say something and because of the way that I look or because of the accent I've got or because of whatever the [ __ ] forearm tumors, um, if they think that that's a it means that I've sided with one group or another, fine. Like, I'm not going to spend or waste my time explaining myself to people who don't understand what I'm doing. Gatlin 1320, you and Alex Okconor have been on a generational run lately. Thank you very much. Uh, Alex is so [ __ ] great, dude. Like, I've been friends with him for seven years now, and I've been a fan of him, maybe for even longer, and he's just so great. He's a lovely guy behind the scenes. Uh, I genuinely like him. He has worked incredibly hard. I mean, he's been doing YouTube since in nearly 10 years now. It wouldn't surprise me if it's been 10 years. it's at least been sort of nine or eight. And um I think he's fantastic. I think he is a wonderful voice at the moment who understands theology, respects religion, respects believers, and isn't kind of really sterile and mean when talking about religion and belief and can hold the ground of he understands theology and religion and scripture often better than the people that he's sitting opposite, which is crazy. as opposed to kind of just steaming in with, well, this is irrational and that couldn't happen and here's some science. He sort of steps onto the field of play of people who are believers and then has a conversation with them inside of their domain. And it's just it does not surprise me at all that he's kind of the center of this conversation around religion. Also, his pivot from atheism to agnostic, I think, is is really great because it makes it sound less adversarial. Again, I think people are getting frustrated and fatigued with all of the fighting and canankerous like we know that this is the way to do it and I worry you will I you will find if I if I open up your Twitter on the 23rd of April 2026 that you said oh my god dude like can we not just have a [ __ ] can we not just have a conversation that's relatively cordial where both people are trying to find some form of truth and agreement and and understanding about somebody else's perspective. Like, is that not is that not fun? Are we not here to have a fun time like that? Is that not this nice blend of I'm going to learn a bit and I'm not going to walk away feeling like I've just been injected with a ton of adrenaline. Is that not okay? I don't know. I I Alex is great. Thank you. Generational run. I'm trying to crank it in my own way. And maybe he'll be back on the show. Maybe he'll do one of those round table debate things. That would be fun. So, leave it with me. Kayla Ironside, I remember being subscribed when you had 100 followers and would respond to comments. You let fame get way to your head. You don't even have good guests anymore, just self-help gurus, which gets boring. Well, look, after I've had the shaman on. It is no surprise that self-help gurus has been alleged at me. Uh Kayla, I'm sorry that I haven't been replying responding to your comments. Um, if you've been here since 100 followers and I'm still landing on your newsfeed, that that feels pretty sticky. Uh, I apologize that you think that the show's dropped off. Um, I let fame get way to my head. I'm going to push back against that one. British people and it's the brand of British person that I am basically has anti-go. And I'm I I don't think it's fair to allege that I've let fame get way to my head because I'm not responding to your comments. There used to be 100 followers and I would respond a lot. There's 4.2 million now. I'm still responding a lot. There's just more people for the responses to to go around. Okay, I'm really I'm really trying. Uh I don't even have good guests anymore. I apologize. I would love to hear who you would like me to bring on the show. I'm always open to suggestions from you or from anybody else and I've listened and I've brought on lots of suggestions that have come. Many of the suggestions are people suggesting themselves uh and other suggestions don't work. Not right. There's a mixed bag of tastefulness inside of every audience. Mine is more tasteful than most. Thank you. Uh I'm sorry, Kayla. Um but I'm glad that you've been here for the last eight and a bit years. I hope that you keep listening. This episode is brought to you by Whoop. According to my Whoop, I've tracked nearly 2,000 days of my life. And the thing that still gets me is that I could have predicted almost every bad day before it happens. That's because Whoop gives you a complete picture of your health every single day. 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Right now, you can get the brand new Whoop 5.0 and that 30-day free trial by going to the link in the description below or heading to join.woop.com/modernwisdom. That's join.woop.com/modern wisdom. Veroria ver whatever. Talk about golden retrievers. Dude, I where I live in Austin, Texas is kind of like It's essentially the epicenter. It's the super massive black hole in the center of the golden retriever verse of Austin, Texas. And I I think that this is maybe a sign up by big golden to get me to buy a golden. And I'm being so, you know, the uh the Truman Show and the guy comes over the radio. He's like, "Send in another three golden retrievers to sniff his leg as he walks past." and it's every single [ __ ] day that I go. So, I'm happy to talk about Golden Retrievers. Uh, Wally Meets World on Instagram is perhaps my favorite Instagram account. It's this overly emotional golden retriever who permanently looks like he's going through a depressive episode. And I love him. I love him so much. Like, if I sat down, I would I would happily do a roundt episode with three golden retrievers. Um, give me time. Give me time. I really want to have one. I feel bad because my mom and dad always had dogs when I was growing up and they treated them so well in terms of they always got walks. They were always looked after. They weren't pampered but they were just they were never left alone for too long. Um they got regular exercise. They were golden uh uh border collies. I I would feel so bad knowing the standard of care that a dog can get and that a dog did get from my mom and dad. I would feel bad to have one and not not do that for it. Um, so I'm aware this is like the it's the I'm not ready to have a baby equivalent for [ __ ] golden retrievers, but I really want one and and I'm trying to not be selfish about getting one just because I want it to then not give it the standard of care that I think it deserves. So I will soon. So soon. Um, if anyone can recommend a golden retriever breeder or something, that probably will push me a little closer. Nice fluffy a show golden, not a working golden, please. Love working goldens, but I want a big I want a big fluffy idiot, please. Big fluffy idiot. Thank you, Amber Ravina. More open tabs group pods, please. And thank you. Yes. Yes. But caveat, I don't know what the name is. I don't know the name of all of these. We've been fighting so hard behind the scenes to work out what to call these things. We were going to call the big names episodes like human mccusa sagura uh uncommon conversations cuz it is it's like it's strange group of people but it's so long when you try and put that on YouTube or Spotify it it it's huge. It takes up loads of space. So then we were going to call it smoke break, right? It's casual. We're going to call it hot mic and someone's got hot mic and they've got George Bush money so I don't want to go up against them. Uh, then it was going to be smoke break. It still might be, you know, the CEO goes out for a smoke break and the janitor's there kind of playing off that. Plus, it's casual and relaxed. Then it was going to be good vibes or good dudes. And it would be funny if we brought a girl on cuz she would still be a good dude. And then the one with George and Sean and the guys was maybe going to be good dudes or rabbit hole because we keep going down rabbit holes. But then there's a New York Times limited series from ages ago called Rabbit Hole. And then it was going to be open tabs because it's all of the things that are in our minds and all of the different tabs that we've got open on Chrome, the [ __ ] that we've seen on the internet. I don't know what to call it. And it's giving me it's giving me lowkey anxiety because I keep releasing episodes and I can't decide. I can't decide what it is. And we keep on having the same discussions. And I I I I we we were also going to call it Blunt Rotation. Like the big episode was going to be called Blunt Rotation. Uh I don't know what to call it. Maybe I should just do if I do a poll, people are going to vote on the one that they think sounds cool, but not the one that they would click on. And then we every time that we pick something, we have to go through we have to check with an IP lawyer because when you get to a certain size the because people think that you have money that they can come after you for for for um it's called passing off in the UK. I don't know what the equivalent is in the US infringement basically. And the US is a first to use, not a first to file as well in trademark law, which means you get a degree of protection by simply using it first, even if you haven't registered it. They're [ __ ] nightmare. But whatever it's called, you will be getting more of those group pods. I enjoy them. I think they're fun. Just need a name. Okay. P Noel3, can you get Elon Musk on the pod? I got put in a signal group chat with him. last week. I've been orbiting for a while, which I guess is an appropriate term for him, uh, both sexually and physically. And I had slowly sort of crept toward him. He'd watched a bunch of the pods. He posted the David Friedberg app that we did on X, which was very kind. And then I got put in a group chat after he posted that one. And I said, "Do you want to come on the pod?" and he said maybe after the SpaceX IPO. So, just waiting for maybe the most valuable company ever in history to go public and then once that's happened, we'll do something. I've got an idea for how I want to put that together. I want to do something incredibly special similar to the MCA kind of the the big moment. And regardless of what you think about Elon, right, you don't even need to like him. You don't need to agree with him. You can't deny that he's one of the most influential people on the planet. He is. and uh maybe one of the most influential people. He may end up being the most influential person in history by the time that he dies. And uh I think it's it that's a it's a good idea to have a conversation with someone like that. So going to try and I'm going to do something special. KPT Miz, I found the tall girl problem is actually a compounding issue. If a woman has a high income plus high EQ from therapy plus the wisdom of intense life experiences, she becomes taller in ways she can't unlearn. How do we address this asymmetric growth? Is it a problem of how we incentivize men toward internal work? Or is it that we lack therapy or growth models specifically tailored to men? P.S. curious if other women here feel their height is coming at least equally, if not more, from their personal growth than their paycheck. This is why I love the modern wisdom audience. Like that is a [ __ ] awesome question. That is a really really interesting question from someone who's thought about it deeply and that's why I love you guys. The question here, tall girl problem, socioeconomic success from women has made it difficult or more difficult for them to find a partner who is as soioeconomically successful as they are or more. Women typically want to date a man who's as educated as they are or more and as financially successful as they are or more. There is a third element here that's being proposed by KP which is the emotional development. If you've done a lot of selfwork here is another uh delta. It's another distance from you to the people that you're trying to date. And I get the sense that this is actually one that could maybe be more destructive to relationships especially over the long term. So on the front end when you meet someone you might be more concerned with their education level and their current earning as you get into a relationship that may I think become less and less relevant. On the other side, I think someone's emotional intelligence upfront. You're not being that emotional, right? When you first meet somebody, you maybe get some senses here and there, but as you get deeper into the relationship, if you've done a lot of selfwork, if you've done a lot of therapy, if you've thought deeply about your emotions, you're trying to connect to your feelings, you're understanding your patterns, you're really trying to you're trying to go there, you're trying to hold your emotions, you're trying to develop yourself. If you and your partner have a big delta, I think that is going to create more friction and make you feel more alone in the relationship than them not having a masters when you've got a masters and they've just got an undergrad degree or something like that. Uh so I think this is almost certainly a contributing element. I don't know whether the asymmetric growth is that women are doing more emotional work. Uh it obviously seems like you are unsurprising modern wisdom listener obviously I don't know whether that is on average true for women to be more emotionally in tune and developed than men are in the same way as higher levels of degree accomplishment and higher levels of financial success are true. By the way, the stat of women out earning men is now they out earn men up to the age of 32. It was 29 previously and I think it's maybe 32 33. Like this is a big window for women to try and date in. Um so I don't know if it's asymmetric growth on average or just asymmetric growth for for for you and all of the other women that listen to Modern Wisdom. Obviously, uh also they're if they've been absorbing the British accent, I imagine that's probably a competitive disadvantage too within the the market. you're like it's you just it's very difficult to compete with the British accent. Okay, so hold on to the American accent at least if you're from America. How do we address this asymmetric growth? Is it a problem of how we incentivize men toward internal work or is it that we lack therapy or growth models specifically tailored to men? I certainly think both of those things because the the the two things are interlin. Men will be more likely to do a modality of emotional development that they think and that they can see will give them outcomes that they want. If you have therapy and growth models specifically tailored to men, they're more likely to observe the direct outcome, beneficial outcome that they want and pursue it. I think rather than trying to sort of whip men into doing it or guilt men into doing it or shame them into doing it, it's much better to just make it so attractive and so obviously beneficial to them that they want to do it. That to me seems to be like just incentives. incentives. Align the [ __ ] incentives. And if you align the incentives so that a guy goes, "Hey, I can actually see how this would benefit me in ways that I care about, I'm going to go and do it." That's the easiest way. So, uh, a model of getting more guys into therapy, bringing across some of the tools, I guess, from coaching and men's work into therapy. Um, and I've worked with maybe five or six therapists. most of them for a short period and two of them for a long period. I found myself getting frustrated. I was about to say as a man like the [ __ ] like speaking as a white man from England. I found myself getting frustrated when it only felt like there was reflection and know okay and this is what we're going to do about it or this is a this is an exercise that you can do in the real world which is going to expose you to this pattern or this is a conversation that might be beneficial for you to have or I want you to note down when you feel this thing come up that to me felt like a little bit like homework but it felt like I was making progress like there was a plan in place and that sort of linear trajectory, right? That sort of upward trajectory is, I think, really important to men. So, yes, this will help to close the delta. What I really just need to do is start a [ __ ] dating organization of Modern Wisdom listeners. Like, that would pre-seelelect for so many of the problems that people have. Like, this is what's mad about the live shows. Chris Williamson. If you're in the UK and Dublin, uh, and Northern Ireland, I know that you're sometimes touchy about being a part of the UK at the live shows, the number of couples that come together and say, "We uh, work in different companies, we have different careers, we travel a good bit each day, but we listen to the show, and then when we come back together on a nighttime, we talk about what's happened in the show." Like, that is obviously because this like wisdom course stuff is a really It's resonating with people like eating a type of nutrient that you haven't had for a long time. Like it's spirulina for your soul when I get it right. When I get it wrong, it's sometimes it's just slightly less spirulina for your soul. When I get it right, this gives people the opportunity to really understand themselves and then deepen their relationship together. So pre-selecting for just a bunch of people who are all involved and interested in the same stuff, I should just try and find a way. But if I do that, the prospect, the possibility of there being some I did think about doing this. I was like, "Oh, well, why don't I do a mixer after the live event, it's gonna be hard?" Because like London, the Apollo show in London in October is it's a three and a half thousand capacity venue and we sold it out last time. So, first off, where the [ __ ] am I going to put, let's say 20% of the people from there go? That's a lot of people. Like 700 people is a lot of people. And what if this I just had this vision in the back of my mind that two people get drunk and go home and have a fumble and then like rightwing misogynist bluepilled cuck feminist podcaster embroiled in drunken I'm like I wasn't even there. I was just trying to get I was just trying to [ __ ] fix the birth rate and get some make people help people fall in love and find someone that they're less alone with. So that's that's what I'm trying to think I'm trying to think about. Maybe just come come to the live shows and just hang around in the lobby and have a little have a little flirt, have a little chat, you know, maybe that'll fix it. But I feel you. If you're very emotionally developed, it's going to be hard to resonate with people. Uh and yeah, you become taller in ways you can't unlearn, right? You can stop going to work. If you want to settle down, start a family, you can pivot your career. uh it's very difficult to forget the inner work that you've done, the emotional development, and it's going to make you feel quite alone. So the more developed that you get as a human, the it's like it's kind of like having a really refined palette. You become a foodie and you can understand the difference between this particular type of of bolognese sauce and another one. And uh it means as your pallet is more refined, there are fewer and fewer places that you can go to eat because you're not going to be able to enjoy things in quite the same way. You're maybe going to see through the shallowess of certain types of foods in ways that someone who doesn't have such a developed pallet might not. They might not struggle with it. And I feel for you, but also I think that the development is worth it. You just need to work a little bit harder to find your person. and I am going to try and help. In other news, Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce companies in the US. They are the driving force behind Gym Shark and SKIMS and Aloe and Newtonic, which is why I partnered with them because when it comes to converting browsers into buyers, they are best-in-class. Their checkout is 36% better on average compared to other leading commerce platforms. And with Shop Pay, you can boost conversions up to 50%. Basically, you didn't get into business to learn how to code or build a website or deal with the inventory stuff [ __ ] on the back end. You just want to get down to creating and promoting an awesome product. And Shopify takes all of the mess off your hands and allows you to focus on the job you actually came here to do, designing and selling the thing that you love. So, upgrade your business and get the same checkout that we use with Newtonic with Shopify. Right now, you can sign up for a $1 per month trial period by going to the link in the description below or heading to shopify.com/modernwisdom, all lowercase. That's shopify.com/modernwisdom. Shitty catfox, why do you and literally all of your guests endlessly pander to feminist [ __ ] and then pretend you somehow aren't part of basically all the problems you talk about on your show? Am I How many How many manosphere accusations in headlines do I need? I I actually should just have you write my PR, Shitty Cat Fox. It's a brilliant name, by the way. I should have you write my PR. Like, he is not a part of the manosphere. He doesn't care about men. He's not a male supremacist. He endlessly pandas to feminist [ __ ] along with all of his guests and then pretends that he somehow isn't basically part of all of the problems he talks about on his show. That is the that is the best PR that I could come up with. But as I said, I've got I have neckache and backachche from being ripped around by people on the internet not being able to work out whether I'm their enemy or not on both sides. I'm being ideologically spit roasted by both sides of the internet. Right. Both the manosphere hate me and the feminists hate me. And I think that most people sit in the middle. I think that most people understand that these conversations are pretty important and that most of the stuff that goes on on the internet is just rage bait. People looking for clicks. I'm really trying to not do that. I apologize if it feels like I'm endlessly pandering to feminist [ __ ] Uh, I would love for you to sit down with some of the girlies from Tik Tok and work out who thinks they're right. Why, you can have a conversation between yourselves and then when you work out who you think is right, come and have a chat with me. But it does feel a little bit like being accused by opposite sides of the same spectrum about being the opposing thing that each side thinks I'm not. So, little confusing, but thank you. I appreciate it's always nice to meet a fan. Always nice to meet a fan. Joe Gaffne, hello Christopher. Will we get any other flavors for the Newtonic focus pouches that speak of the devil? Uh, so these Newtonic focus pouches, the Zinterative, as we called them, took ages to develop. Was nearly 18 months to get right and dial the flavors in, and they rule. And the fresh mint one is is fantastic. Yes, there's new flavors coming. I commissioned a coffee, a citrus, a spearmint, a peppermint, and a some sort of fruit, like a mixed fruit thing. And I think I just I have this vision. So, you can see it's this sort of cylinder thing. I have this vision of creating uh like a set of pucks, like 1 2 3 4 5 a variety pack like that. And I just think it would be so cool. Um, yes, there'll be new flavors. These sold out in 40 hours in the UK. I think they're sold out everywhere now. Um, they are going to be in GNC and vitamin shop just next to the counter, which is pretty cool because health stores are pretty worried about putting nicotine in, but having something that's a pouch delivery mechanism that doesn't have nicotine in and is good for you and makes your brain work better and is a supplement over time, uh, that seems pretty cool. So, I'm I'm very bullish on these. Everyone that we've spoken to about them, all the retailers are super excited. So, I'm working hard. Uh, we need to get the [ __ ] freshman back in stock first. But, we're on it. Leave it with me. And, uh, I don't know. I'm excited. Arnaldo Gonk, as a young guy, how are you supposed to gain the world's respect? Do you just have to wait? Yeah, I I'm not sighing at your question. and I'm sighing at the recollection of being in that position. Um, when I first started running my events business, Voodoo with Darren, my ex- business partner, we were 18 and then we started really sitting down with leisure company owners, halfway through first year and then properly into second year. So, we were 18, 19, 19, 20, 21, like really aggressively sitting down. And these leisure company owners are kind of grizzled old 50s60s nightclub group owners or or operators of some kind or another. And um I felt panded to. I felt panded to. And I sat down in these these meetings cuz I knew that I had something to offer this this company. And and I it felt like I was getting a pat on the head. It's very patronizing to me and I really didn't enjoy it and I understand I think what you're talking about which is that the world doesn't respect you simply because of your age and they could kind of disregard your competence which is what you're operating on, right? Especially you listen to a show like this, you're thinking about yourself, you're trying to improve yourself and then all of that kind of just gets forgotten about because you're 19 or you're 22 or something. Um, the harsh truth is kind of, yeah, you do kind of just have to wait. I'm sorry, it's a very unsatisfactory answer. You can try and speedrun it. Um, I'll give you one of the hacks that I found. When I sat down to have conversations with the Leisure Company guys, it would typically be me that led the pitch and then Darren that actually did the did the work. So, I got wheeled out as kind of like the queen. like I would be the honorary citizen that kind of did the did the the cell and then Darren actually like did the grinding when it came to the the numbers. One of the things that I did was try to protect myself and the person that I was working because I didn't want to resent them. I didn't want to resent this ledger company owner. So partway through sort of hey guys look before we get started I just wanted to say I know that we're a young company but I think that our results speak for ourselves. We don't need I don't want you to discount what we can do simply because we're young. I have a lot of respect for you and what you've achieved in the industry. You can look at our track record and it's very stellar. I'm going to treat you with the level of respect that I think you want to and I expect that back. Like going in and saying something to the something similar to that, at least in my experience, called out the elephant in the room. I know I'm young, but I'm great at what I do. I'm gonna respect you. I expect you to respect me back. It's like, huh, this kid's that was like a kind of risky thing to say. I like that. If someone came and said that to me, I'd be like, I like that he's standing on principle. He knows his worth. He understands that he's young, but he also is prepared to call it out so that there's no unspoken [ __ ] going on in the background. That helps. Also, just being really competent. There's a book by uh Cal Newport called So Good They Can't Ignore You. Be so good that they can't ignore you. Be so good that they can't disrespect you is a solution. But dude, honestly, until you're kind of The first change I think is probably about 24, 24, 25, and then the next one is 30 for guys. 19 you are going to really be fighting against the tide. And 26, 27, 28, like you're still doing it. Once you get past 30, I think it's kind of all the same. Um, so aging in some ways is good because it means that you've got way more respect. Um, I feel for you. Keep on grinding and yeah, call it out if you feel it. It's like, "Hey guys, I'm noticing I'm feeling a little bit of tension in the room. I know that I'm young, but look at what I can do. I'm I'm really showing up here to in a professional manner to try and prove to you exactly what I can do." I expect the same from you. Maybe at least for me, I found that that was effective. So, Godspeed. Fat phobic. Why so many ad reads in every episode? The dude, I I get it. I understand. I understand if you're locked in on a conversation and I come in and go in other news this episode is brought to you by I understand that it might be an inconvenience for a minute but dude I just put three of the biggest podcasters in the world in the same room for 3 hours and there's four minutes of ads out of 180. Like if that is that is that unacceptable? Is that really too high of a price to pay to receive three episodes a week completely free? I I I I'm really trying here. I'm trying to give this criticism as much of a steel man as possible. I understand that it's probably it it's it's probably annoying. You're locked in. You don't want to hear about whatever it is that I'm talking about, right? But dude, I the lights need to be kept on. Like when for instance episode 1000 McConna built rebuilt the house from Interstellar in Unreal Engine 5 and then bucked out this huge video wall and then built practical sets and got an airirstream and reversed the [ __ ] thing in there and then had to get McConn and then had to edit and all the rest of it. We lost I lost so much money on that one production. It's insane. I didn't make it back on that one or on that one and the next one or on that one and the next one and the one after. I don't know how long it took me to make that money back. I I can't describe to you the level of entitlement that it feels like for someone to say it's not worth 4 minutes of ads that are free and skippable for me to be able to enjoy that content. Like it feels it feels unfair. Like parasocial relationships feel sometimes on the internet a lot more entitled than my real social relationships. None of my friends have ever said, "Dude, [ __ ] I love you, man, but I need you to those ad reads. They're, you know, they're really getting to me." No one's ever said that. But I I'm trying I try to make them interesting. I really do. We We didn't use scripts. Like I'm doing comedy bits. We writing like little jokes and stuff. I'm really really trying to make them as engaging as possible. I only work with partners that I care about and that I whose products I use. I'm really really going for it. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry if it's a if it's genuinely a big deal. I am sorry. But what like you want this is not easy. This studio was so [ __ ] expensive. And I'm trying I'm trying I think I'm adding value. I think I'm trying to do different different things and not just mail it in. I'm sorry there's four minutes of ads per episode, but it's not going to change. So, if you don't like it, you you're just you're simply going to have to go somewhere else. And I apologize. You might not believe me, but this is what peak sleep optimization looks like. Not talking about the night gown. That's just for sex appeal. I'm talking about my EightLe. The eightle pod 5 comes with a smart cover you throw on your mattress that actively cools or heats each side of the bed up to 20°. And now they've added the world's first temperature regulating duvet and pillowcase. So you've got 360° coverage for deep uninterrupted rest. It's like being Walt Disney without the cryogenic chamber and the racism. Best of all, their autopilot feature learns your sleep patterns and makes adjustments to improve your sleep in real time. It even detects when you're snoring and lifts your head a few inches to help you breathe better. That's why eight has been clinically proven to add up to 1 hour of quality sleep per night. They have a 30-day sleep trial, so you can buy it and sleep on it for 29 nights. If you don't like it, they will give you your money back. Plus, they ship internationally. Right now, you can get up to $350 off the Pod 5 by going to the link in the description below or heading to eight.com/modernwisdom and using the code modernwisdom a checkout. That's ei.com/modernwisdom and modernwisdom a checkout. Appalachian Cuden red god. Who are you praying Pierce will spare? Who do you think is marked for death? I think it's Mustang. I think it's Mustang. For the people who don't know what we're talking, what the [ __ ] is this? He's speaking in code. Um, Red God is the final book in the Red Rising series by Pierce Brown. some someone or a number of people. Pierce is kind of well known for killing off favorite characters, especially when you don't expect it. Kind of again, he was unceremoniously in the same way I launched this studio without any fanfare. He just kills off people's favorite characters like that and doesn't complain about it, doesn't apologize about it. Um, I did have a call with Pierce at the start of this year and that was pretty revealing because I said, "How are you getting on?" And he said, "I'm having I'm having an existential crisis because whoever I kill, I can't bring back." He can't reccon this series, right? You can't Oh, actually, she was wearing res flesh on her face and was in an anti-chamber that kept her alive secretly. They they took this special venom that dropped her heart rate to below perceptible level. Like, you can't you can't bring them back. And I think the the most brutally unromantic way to round out the series would be for Darrow to win, but for him to lose his wife again. That's what I think would be like, oh, [ __ ] So unsatisfying. And so it would just be a legendary way to do it. It's a high-risisk strategy because it is by definition it's very unsatisfying. Um, Daro dying feels a bit cliche. Seo dying is rough but just not it's not got the gut punch of a mother dying and Daryl losing his wife again. So that's my money my money's on Mustang. I really do not envy Pierce's job or any I mean look at um Patrick Rothus right with the name of the wind third book he's been it's been what 10 years 12 years or something since the second one came out in the trilogy and it's a a battle between him and George RR Martin for who will write their next book last. I feel for fiction writers who've got to try and bring a story into land because this is going to get canonized. It's going to be turned into a movie like oh [ __ ] Anyway, that's what I think is going to happen. Our castle would geopolitical climate be different if Harambe was still alive, dude. Yes. Yes. Bring back Harambe, man. Ben Lamb that's bringing back the woolly mammoth and the saber-tooth tiger and the dodo bird at Colossus Colossal the bioengineering genetics thing. The first animal that should be brought back is not the woolly mammoth. It's Harambe. I genuinely feel like he was the hero that we needed, not the one that we wanted. The Middle East is 100% fixed with Harambe. I think Russia is a little bit less likely to be fixed. I don't think that the Russians would have listened to Harambe in the same way that the Middle East would have done. But still, as an ambassador to the UN, as a consumer professional and as the voice of a generation, I think Harambe is I miss him. Jake C. Winter, what are the tops and sides numbers for the buzz? So, I'm growing this back [ __ ] here. I'm going to put this as a time capsule. I'm cementing this. When my hair is another inch long and the comments of what the [ __ ] is happening with that perm come in, this is my hair after not being cut for two, three months on the top and the back. It's not a perm, okay? It's not it. This is what my hair does when it grows. That's my first thing. When I have got the buzz, it is two two and a half. Two on the sides, two and a half on the top. Like moderate fade here on like on the sides on the upsides. That's it. It's simple. Now, the problem with two two and a half is that you need to go back to keep it neat. You need to go back probably every 2 and 1/2 weeks, at least at the pace that my hair grows. 3 weeks starting to look messy. Three and a half weeks you're like, "Fucking hell." And then by four for me, my hair doesn't get longer. You might have curly hair too, Jake. It my hair gets bigger. It's like a It's like an expanding planet or something. My hair doesn't get longer. It gets bigger. And that means that leaving it too long doesn't make it look all tously and he's so cool and sexy. It looks like I don't care about myself a lot. Uh so two two and a half. I would go one and a half two if you want a bit more longevity in it and that'll probably get you to three weeks. Uh that's it. That's how it is. James J19, are we going to get an in-depth tour of the new studio? I know. I know. I should do it. I should just film something. I I have this thing where I want it to be perfect. I want the studio to be perfect. And the the tree that's behind me, you might not be able to tell it's a tree, but we got this custom tree from Singapore, like customdesigned, and it had these shelves on. and it was the perfect size to fit in the arch behind me in the studio and that that hadn't arrived and there was just a normal set of shelves and then we got that in and then we made some other changes and now we've got more light tubes coming in so a couple more manipulations going to happen. I'm like I I just wanted to do it once it was perfect and then I wanted to get the I wanted to record it and explain everything and going you know this the whole studio is so high tech and we've got loads of cool [ __ ] that we've done and I I I I just didn't get around to it. And also I've been trying to rip the show too. Like bringing on these these multi- guest episodes are really hard to do. Like thinking about playing calendar Tetris with one in demand person. Try and multiply that by two more. It's so and mine. It's so hard. Um but yes, in-depth studio tour will come at some point once we get the final final little touches in and it'll be that. And I'm sorry that I haven't done it. Sweet ch sweet sweet chongus. Do you ever worry that within the self-help space, you've already covered the 8020 of what really matters and you now risk drifting into productive procrastination, searching for some hidden insight that doesn't actually exist? And the more you try to improve or keep learning, the more it just circles back to your mantra, just do the thing. Dude, I this is I think this is touching on what I was saying at the very start, which is there is a degree of grind slop exhaustion on the internet at the moment and go back to the first 400 episodes I did on the show. David Allen, who created the most legendary productivity process of all time, GTD, right? Getting things done. Peter C. Brown, the guy that wrote the book Make It Stick, talking about the Ebing House forgetting curve and space repetition and flash cards for memory. Like so much of the lowhanging fruit, the important stuff was recorded on this podcast before anybody listened. Before anyone listened. I think 350 episodes in, we had 100k subs. 450, we had 250. And now it's another what 700 episodes. So, we were 30% of the way to where we are now and we had done less than 10% of the subs that we were ever going to do overall. It's like what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to make this as fun as possible. I'm trying to make it engaging. I'm not trying to repeat myself. I don't want to have the same guest on or the same topic talked about. Like how many times do we need to do an episode about the optimal cold, dark, quiet approach for your bedroom? How many times do we need to talk about don't do caffeine after 6 p.m. Right? It's just I'm conscious of this and I'm purposefully trying to find people who are new and interesting. Dude, we did two hours on the life of Julius Caesar. Nothing to take away from that. Like, no, you don't need no notes. You There wasn't a morning routine that you could have taken away from Julius Caesar. Just sit back and enjoy. Interesting learning, but entertainment. Just chill. Enjoy that. And I that's the vibe that I'm feeling at the moment. I'm still trying to make progress. I'm still big on the the emotions thing, the tapping in the understanding yourself stuff. But yeah, productive procrastination is real. That there is an answer out there that something new is what's most important as opposed to just drilling the basics. That being said, given that so much of the stuff that I said on the pod that was really, really important, informative to me was basically before anybody listened, maybe I do need to actually run some of that stuff back. It's going to be really hard to bring David Allen back on again 8 years after I had him for the first time and just do the same episode. But given that no one was listening back then and lots of people listen now, I don't know, maybe that is something that I need to do to revisit it. All I'm trying to do is follow my instincts with the show. And my instincts at the moment are telling me have fun, hang with the guys, talk about stuff that's interesting, don't fall into politics slop, just reaction content, adversarial like online argument [ __ ] Don't try to find something that's novel simply for the sake of it being novel. And so that there is a degree of ooh this is new that the the strategy that you don't understand unless it genuinely warrants that. Um and maybe we need to redrill the basics. Maybe I need to do that. I mean it's it's chronically unsexy to do it. It's incredibly unattractive and does risk you being accused of we've heard this before. It's like well if you've heard it before, why aren't you implementing it? If you've heard everything about sleep, why does your sleep still suck? If you already know the 8020, if I've covered the 8020 I've covered the 100 zero, why does your sleep still suck? Well, it's because you're not doing it. And maybe you need to be reminded of it more. Or maybe I need to do recap episodes. I don't know. I I understand what you mean. And and I'm actively trying to avoid adding unnecessarily to grind slop and creating this sense of people don't feel enough. The only way that I can be enough is if I'm permanently pushing myself nose to the grindstoneone as hard as possible and optimizing areas of my life that don't matter that much. Trying to contribute, trying to give people a varied diet when it comes to this. And you know, if I want to go back over old stuff, I will do. And if I want to try and have somebody on to discuss something cuz I've kind of forgotten my sleep started to suck a little bit. I'm like, okay, [ __ ] it. Matt Walker, spin you back up. Let's do the greatest hits. Maybe I'll do that, too. But I'm conscious of what you're saying and it's an accurate insight and I'm I'm I'm with you. I'm with you. Jared, you ever considered that you might have a drinking problem? >> I don't consider a lot, Chris. >> Well, you drank an entire case of Athletic Brewing last night. >> But they're non-alcoholic. >> And that's not a problem. >> Sorry, man. I I just kept chugging. Wait for the regret to creep in. Never happened. See, most people like Jared don't want to change what they drink. They just don't want the next day to be a complete write-off. And that is why I'm such a huge fan of Athletic Brewing Co. They make the best NA brews on the planet. You can find Athletic Brewing Co.'s bestselling lineup at grocery or liquor stores near you. Or best option, get a full variety pack of four flavors shipped direct to your door right now. Get 15% off your first online order by going to the link in the description below or heading to athleticbwing.com/modernwisdism using the code modernwisdom at checkout. That's athletic brewing.com/modernwisdom at modernwisdism at checkout. Near beer terms and conditions apply. Athletic brewing company fit for all times. Bottoms up. J Clemo. Dude, love your work. Thank you. I've been a listener since 2020. I have one pretty important question that you are well qualified to answer. Would bringing back carnage traffic light parties solve the declining birth rate? I mean, it's got a shot. It's got a shot because we've tried we've tried everything. Uh hungry taxes for mothers like tax tax breaks for mothers that that didn't work. I think it's got a shop. Look, for the people that don't know, Carnage was a t-shirt bar crawl that I ran for a long time. It's the first franchise that I owned in the UK when I was running nightclubs. And you wear a a sticker, green sticker on you means good to go. A orange sticker means thinking about it. I'm not sure. And a red sticker means I'm taken. Right? So like single, considering it, taken. And uh it just meant that you didn't ever go up to somebody that didn't want to have someone go up to them. Like you could even put a red one on you and I just don't I don't want to hook up tonight or whatever. Uh it's going to require an awful lot of people to do carnage traffic light party. I mean we did lots those bar rolls were huge like thousands and thousands of people per night. to make a dent in the birth rate. We might need to scale it up. But I'm prepared to go back. If that fixes the birth rate, I'm prepared to go back into the world of Nightlife promo. That being said, we'd be cancelled within days. Within days, if the sort of [ __ ] that used to happen on Carnage was to happen again now with camera phones, it would it would not last two seconds, but it's a good idea. Er Pafi one best books that one must read. Dude, I have two reading lists of 100 books and it pops up 2 minutes into every single episode on YouTube in the top corner and it's in the show notes of every episode and I talk about it on my story and it's my only link in bio on Instagram. Please go and download the list of 100 books that you should read before you die and 100 more books that you should read before you die. chriswilx.combooks and chriswilx.combooks. There's five at the top of each that are like, "Oh, those are the must-reads. You have to read these." And then there's 95 more that are cool and some of them are fiction and some of them are non-fiction, real life stories. And I've I've written descriptions about why I like them and and links to go and buy them. And and it's available online. And I can't believe that you've managed to slum through my content and miss it. That's a me problem. I obviously need to work harder at shoving this down your throats. So there you go. Chris Williamson, chriswilx.com/books. Mala78, I would love to hear your thoughts on alcohol. I see in your latest video that alcohol is a part of your life. In the past, you've been a strong advocate of the benefits of not drinking. That's true. Yes. I I went sober for a good while. I did a thousand days sober. I did a bunch of six month sobers starting about a decade ago. It doesn't sound very revolutionary now, but back in the day when I did that as a nightclub promoter in his 20s, that was that was [ __ ] unheard of, right? Especially being in Newcastle, which is kind of the capital of drinking in the UK. And it was really beneficial and I made a lot of progress. And then I did a video about what I learned from a thousand days not drinking and it was super helpful. That being said, anybody who says that alcohol can't make a night out better hasn't had a good enough night out. Like, it absolutely can improve your experience. The problem I had was when it felt like I was obliged to do it or like I wouldn't I couldn't have a good night if I didn't do it. And I didn't like that. I didn't like being at the mercy of some That's the same reason I did 1,000 days, sorry, I did 500 days without caffeine because I didn't like the idea that I didn't have control over my energy levels without needing to artificially inseminate it with something else. And I had I was on tour right around Australia, New Zealand, and Bali. I'm gonna have a beer. I'm going to have two beers after I I'm going to have a Corona. I'm going to celebrate with the guys. I was in Nashville for the 4th of July 2 years ago. Like 100,000 people on Broadway. The whole streets closed down. There's a drone show and fireworks and a orchestral band playing. I'm going to have a beer. You can make a night out better like that. The problem is when you don't have control over it. And it wasn't even that I didn't have control. I did have control. I just knew that it was limiting the progress that I was making cuz I was hanging out of my ass once every two weeks and that would mean that my diet got reset and I wasn't training for, you know, 3 days slowly get back up. Fourth day training session kind of sucks and then maybe I'll do some meditation. I'll journal and then I'm back up to speed and just as I'm back up to speed I reset back to the baseline. So a lot of people the progress that you're looking for is at the bottom of the glass that you're drinking. Um, it's not a part of my life. I think I drank 10 times, 20 times last year. I'll have drank 20 times so far this year and we're halfway through the year and it's two beers. Um, I'm still a strong advocate of the benefits of not drinking, but I'm not like an absolutist on it either. Paul Bishop 5999, what happened to the merch? It's right here. Look at this. this uh we've got a lot of new designs. Interestingly, Sleep Token as a band. They wear masks. Pseudonmous, anonymous. People don't supposedly don't know who they are. Uh quite hard to work out who it is. The designer for the merch, which is awesome. Significantly easier to work out who it is. So, anyway, the merch is coming soon. Uh we've got the final samples coming back. I'm very obsessed about everything. CompTI metmat variant. Uh, but I'm particularly obsessive about the merch because mailing it in and doing shitty merch to me is a real touch point between what I've built with Modern Wisdom, which has taken eight over eight years and a thousand episodes and you guys. And if you get a piece of merch that falls apart after a few washes or that's got [ __ ] print quality or that isn't a cool design or is a bad fit, that is that tarnishes your relationship with me and your interpretation of the brand so much. I just I it really makes me feel quite ill to think about that. So, I spent a long time working on the designs. We're actually changing the blanks from the first release, which were great and everybody loved, but we were using Comfort Colors CC1717s, and now we're moving to the AS color stencil minus2s. And the reason for that is I wanted a slightly deeper black. Like this is sort of brushed, um, which always gives it a bit of a weathered feel, which is nice. and it's a tiny bit oversized, which I also like, but I actually wanted something that's just a little bit more fitted, so it's a bit more flattering on the arms and is a deeper black because I think it's going to let the designs pop a bit more. So, this is actually on the comfort colors. And then we're going to we've got the final samples coming back on the AS colors. The stencil minus 2 is important because AS color for me fits too long. For most people, I think it fits too long. So, we've got like limited the colors and like so much [ __ ] that I'm so many hoops I'm jumping through. Rounds and rounds and rounds of amends, but we've got the next two drops done. So, once we've got this locked in, we won't need to wait. The first one was in November or October or November and then this one is going to be in [ __ ] June or something. So, I get it. It's frustrating. I wanted the merch out sooner, but the only reason that we're waiting is because I want it to be perfect. And I I hope that that comes across and I'm trying hard and I'm working hard. So that's it. Bobzilla 2006, would you ever consider doing more episodes related to astronomy and physics? I really enjoy the episode you did with Professor David Kipping and would love to see him come on to the show again, as well as other guests within that area of study. Love the show and congrats on 4.2 million. Thank you very much. I love astronomy and physics. I dumped some nerd astronomy knowledge on George on one of our most recent episodes. No idea if it's true, but I I think I was right with it. Um, I'm trying to do this Neil deGrasse round table, which makes me so excited. The prospect of Neil Degrasse Tyson and Mark Normand in the same room is it's wonderful. Uh, I spoke to uh David a couple of weeks ago. I texted him after the Optimus thing cuz I knew he was involved in something behind the scenes and congratulated him. That was cool. I want to bring him on. I I am not sure who's good in the world of physics and astronomy at the moment. Sabina Hosenfeld has been on twice. Mitchaku came on. Wasn't impressed with that episode particularly. Um, who else? Obviously Eric Weinstein, but it's not just going to be astronomy physics. I don't know. I don't know who's cool in the the up and cominging communication space. So, if you've got suggestions, throw them in the comments. I'll check them out. Um I I love that. It's space and astronomy is a huge part of my uh love for learning. So, I'm down. I'm down. Kristoff 8188 asked before, we'll ask again. I like it. Uh can we get a two to three monthly Q&A instead? Not linked subs. Yeah, I understand. The unpredictability is frustrating. Uh, also sometimes I hit the subs number and I can't get round to recording because of the schedule. I mean, this one is going out. I don't know what the number of subs is, but it's probably closer to 2 three than sorry to 4.3 than 4.2. Uh, sorry. I understand if we just did them regularly that would be easier. May yes, maybe that would be nice. I just it's been what we've always done. I was doing it every 10,000, then every 50,000, then every 100,000. Uh, alternatively, if you want them more frequently, just get your friends to subscribe. Get your f Make sure that you're subscribed and you'll get them more quickly. Grab your girlfriend's phone, quickly subscribe. That's for me, that seems like the the easiest solution. I will try and speed them up. I want to do more solo stuff. Uh, I've got this beautiful new studio. I might as well stand in it and talk about stuff. So, I'll try and I'll try and make it happen more quickly. I promise. Payton Below Below Below Below Lonely Chapter until financial freedom or some large level of success or semi- lonely chapter with some drinking and maybe a goal to enjoy my youth. Is it simply a matter of going pro and reaping prolevel results or semi-pro and being content with semipro results yet actually doing things outside of the prolevel activity? Hope that makes sense. Cheers. If you if you haven't listened to this podcast much, that sentence sounds like the ravings of an insane person. like that is uh that is I understand what you mean and I I'm just going to assume that everyone who's listening understands what you mean. Uh but that is the most modern wisdom pilled sentence that I've ever read. So congratulations. You get you get question of the you get question of the video. I'll start doing that now. Well, I'll have a question of the episode and that is question of the episode because it is so deeply entrenched in the law of modern wisdom. Um, lonely chapter until financial freedom or some large level of success. So, do you want to lock in until you've basically reached escape velocity with success andor financial freedom or go focused on work with a little bit of time off to enjoy drinking and maybe a girl to have some fun in your youth? Do you go pro and get the pro results quickly or semi-pro and be content with getting fewer results but actually enjoying stuff? Depends on your age, dude. If you're 19, I don't think that locking in super aggressively is where you need to be. I think that having some fun is is perfectly acceptable. I think as you start to get look at me like just creating arbitrary rules about the age that you need to begin to do stuff at. You can do stuff whenever you want, but at least if I was to create a prescription, if I was gun to my head, you have to create one. I think up to about the age of 24, 25, you're probably not going to see much divergence between you and your friends based on how much you've locked in, but you will look back and have a big difference on how much fun you had. Uh especially if you're already talking about you're going semi-pro or semi- lonely chapter stuff like locking in quite a bit but also giving yourself a bit of a break. I think that's good. Then contrarian opinion I think that you can really [ __ ] grind it 26 27 through mid30s. That is a good period. That is a great period. You've got past the issues of low respect because you're you're a young guy. So, the world's not really going to listen to you as much as it will do when you're a little bit older and you've got a bit of momentum and you've got some experience so you can fully lock like really really capitalize on it and use some leverage. If I was you, I would try and follow something like that. Um, but there needs to be a period of real monk modeing in my experience. I don't think you can always semi-pro it. There's a period where you need to go pro because otherwise you're going to be beaten by people who are prepared to go pro. And it doesn't it's not about being better than other people or whatever. But if you want to if you want to reach some degree of escape velocity with success or financial freedom, which are the two things that you brought up, I think that you need to have you need to have a period where you're very obsessive and really really locked in. Pick when you want to do it. My advice would be to go mid late 20s through early 30s. That worked really well for me. Uh, and other than that, have some fun. That's my That's my That's my thinking. Peter Fisk 6598, will you be chatting to Finn and Horatio again? I hope so. Uh, they're definitely not both going to be leaving the UK at the same time, and I'm kind of locked in here. However, I've got the tour around the UK and Ireland in October and I'll probably try and bring them on then, which would be fun because I'll be in London. I'll have some time off around about that. Uh we had Victoria on who's one of the writers of internet and has been on history a bunch and that was fun. He was out here recording uh no doing live tour doing his standup. Uh I love Finn Horatio. I think Finn Versus History is one of the best podcasts on the internet at the moment. I think it's kind of quintessentially British. I wonder how much it's broken through into America. I would imagine only a little, but I might be wrong. Uh they're great. I think they're ascendant and I'm I'm really happy to have been a part of that journey for them or whatever for me. Like it's fun to see those guys unfold everything. The episode we did of Finn Versus the Internet I think is I think it's the most played one that they've ever done and it was deranged. It was like [ __ ] an outof body experience to do, but also a lot of fun and I learned tons seeing those guys operate and they just enjoy. They're having a good time. They're having a good time and that's what I'm trying to do. We're having we're trying to have a good time on the show and uh I support them and I I'll be bringing them back on as soon as I can. An American Jedi. Chris, when the heck are you getting a dog? I just This is part of Big Golden trying to This is the the the multi-pronged assault of Big Golden convincing me to buy a dog. I want a [ __ ] dog. Okay, I want a dog. I'm clamoring. I'm clucking. I don't know whether the Americans will get that reference. Like clucking for it. I'm sorry I haven't got one yet. I will do soon. and he or she will live in the studio with me and be a regular feature. There can be a raised dog bed behind me during the episodes and it will light light it perfectly. It's this beautiful golden glow behind get a you know the 4K camera zoomed in on the fur just you are going to be so [ __ ] sick of me talking about my dog. The fact that you're trying to get me to speedrun getting the dog, I can guarantee you that you are going to be so pissed at the fact I won't shut up about it once I've got it. Enjoy this time. Enjoy pre-dog Chris. Also enjoy prekids Chris, right? Because once I'm in on that, you had better be ready for 2 years of child rearing pediatrics episodes. Okay, I just We're in the before times, right? BD before dog big dick. Uh, all right. I'm gonna leave it there. I love you all. Thank you so much for supporting me. Uh, it means an awful lot. Don't forget to subscribe Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube. Chris Williamson.Llive to come and see me on tour in Australia. No, in the UK and Ireland toward the back end of this year. Newtonic.com/modernwisdism if you want to check out some of this stuff. And chriswillex.com/books if you want to get a list of books. I appreciate you. Thank you for supporting me. I'll see you next time. See you.