3.25M Q&A - Marriage Plans, Beautiful Women & Chris Bumstead

Hello everybody welcome back to the show it is a 3.25 million subscriber Q&A episode you ask questions I try and answer them and not do a Nazi salute let's see how we get on uh actually before we get on uh lot of questions about books book suggestions uh Red Rising which is this fiction series I've addicted everybody to uh and is amazing uh there are 100 bucks a list of my favorite 100 that I've ever read that you can get completely for free at Chris will x.com books if you need new suggestions for fiction and non-fiction and real life stories and there's descriptions about why I like them and there's links you can just go and buy them from Amazon or whatever uh and it's awesome and like a quarter of a million people have got it and you can too and it's free you can go and get it now there'll be a button somewhere or Chris wix.com books so go and upgrade your brain with that all right let's get into it dude it's Danny what happens to the music intro it always hyped me up good question so we switched on audio from Audio Only to video on Spotify but that means that we can't have a spoken intro with the music because there's no video to go along with that so we got rid of the intros entirely uh so blame Spotify for enabling video lots of people wanted video on Spotify and every new episode is now available in video plus the entire back catalog of 900 episodes is currently being uploaded but the sacri rice we've had to make is you've lost me chatting [ __ ] for the first 90 seconds uh and the music so I don't know maybe maybe it'll come back at some point in future as like a a special Hall of Fame thing but uh yeah for now it's gone and we just get straight into it like we do on YouTube Greaves Josh did you find some of the fin versus the internet stuff a bit close to the Bone dude I loved it I that guy is going to be so massive for the people people who haven't seen this I did it's kind of like a roast I guess it's like a friendly collaborative roast in a way uh with a British comedian called Finn Taylor and that's available on his channel you can go and see um I I love what I'm a huge fan of that show and I have been for seasons and Seasons George Mack first intro me to him I think he's great and um I I really enjoyed it I didn't find any of it too close to the Bone I mean it's either it's either true in which case you've got nothing to you can't push back or it's so exaggerated that it's not true in which case you don't need to worry about it so um yeah it they're great the team's fantastic it does feel a little bit like uh I know like you're in a school classroom with a bunch of naughty kids at the back that are just throwing insults at him to throw at you uh that's pretty funny cuz all of the producers are in there as well but process was great and uh he's goingon to be massive I'm very confident that it'll be like he's going to be so so huge so like the British Charming nicer version of Tony Hinchcliffe maybe but yeah I I loved it Maxim Maya 66 what are two important questions you would ask a woman on a first date to see if you are compatible it's a good question um what does a happy life look like to you I think is probably pretty important uh and when would you want to have kids um I think both of those help to ensure that you're both moving in the right direction but what you want to basically avoid on a first day and this may be moving too quickly to important questions she might run away uh but it depends how serious you are right this is this is what I would ask um but if you're serious and if if this is you looking for a life partner you want to make sure that you're both pointed in the same direction so if a good life to her looks like regularly going on holiday and never really having to um be around the house and not really building a home but you want to be a home body and you can't wait to make a family that's not going to work and the same's true vice versa if you want to just be this sort of dgen world traveler having tons of fun parties and and stuff until your 50s and she wants to be the four golden retrievers and five kids person that's not going to work and then I think the second big question is when what sort of a timeline are you wanting to make the next big milestone on you can't really ask when do you want to get married but you can most people have got an idea about when they want to have kids and by asking when you also get to ask the question of do you so it's kind of a it's a little cheap um so way too intense way too over the top probably going to scare loads of women off but uh you said what the two most important not the two most likable uh so there we go Lizzy l31 I'm a female and Avid listener for the last six months curious how many women subscribe uh so it's about 30% of the audience is female on audio on YouTube it's less it's about 15% but YouTube skews super male in any case uh interestingly when you look at the live shows that we did in Australia and in the UK and the ones that we did last year in America it's nearly 50/50 it's 5545 now can't work out how many of those are girlfriends that have been dragged Along by the boyfriends but you also can't work out how many are girlfriends that have dragged their boyfriends along and I'm going to fight the corner for that so it's a lot uh and you know for all of the uh Finn versus the internet thing of your podcast is primarily for men it's definitely not and it never has been it's male focused and I talk about the issues that interest me to do with men because I am one and also because I get accused of mansplaining if I try and do it for women um but yeah it's it's a mixed bag and I like that I like I certainly think that a lot of the episodes about men men's mental health emotions opening up all of that sort of stuff uh in many ways is as useful to women as it would be to men because you get to actually find out something you have no insight into as opposed to something that's just aimed at you so uh yeah there you go freed Chris you said that you got a comprehensive DNA sequencing in one of the episodes with Dr Mike which company did you do it with also where are your glasses from that you've worn in some Vlogs red tint gradia uh intellex DNA I think it's called Uh the director medical director head lady is actually going to come on the podcast because I think it's super interesting um in Telex DNA you do a cheek swab send it off and they basically do your entire genetic profile and send back anything that looks interesting uh it was really really eyee openening you get to learn so much about yourself you know a lot of episodes I've done have talked about the impact of behavioral genetics in that 50% of everything that you are psychologically is genetically predisposed from your parents but so I knew that I knew that there were these things these traits that I was inheriting from one generation to the next but I never actually thought about the individual building blocks that that was made up of and uh yeah you get to see it you get to see literally the bricks that are used okay that's me and that's me and that's one of the reasons that I have this disposition and that's one of the reasons I have that disposition it's fascinating it kind of can lead you I've noticed myself looking a little bit toward a kind of fatalistic approach because when you can actually see the individual elements that can contribute to you being you it makes it way easier for you to say well that's just because of my cmy 3aa [ __ ] like Al or whatever uh which not not necessarily great but I think if you can get past that which I'm doing um it's super interesting so in intell X DNA uh the glasses aren't red they're pink and they are muscats in blush uh monochrome mcats in blush they're not cheap they're about 350 quid but uh they're beautiful and you can wear them by day you can wear them by night and uh they seem to go with pretty much anything so there you go Greaves uncore you've managed to get two of these in you managed to get two in okay uh where's the merch mate um we're working on that very hard uh it takes a long time to actually get merch done to the level that you want if you want to have a really really nice merch so I felt icky about it for a long time because in many ways lots of merch just seems like kind of a nameless faceless cash grab Shameless cash grab um but then I also realized that if I was a fan of a show and they had some cool designs I would wear the living [ __ ] out of them so I got past my own fear of grift accusations uh and we are going to do it so you will have much within can't put a timeline on it within a few months hopefully uh Adam steel 4987 are you into hardcore music metal music in general or just bar tooth yeah I mean I've won Paris I've won sleep token I've won misery signals uh A Day to Remember uh lots of different t-shirts which is what I'm guessing you've got the bartoo thing from uh massively into Polaris at the moment bring me uh yeah Polaris and Beartooth are my two uh most played at the moment and uh it's a it feels like there's a Resurgence coming along Bill Murray all of these different bands putting out like half throwback very tuneful very groovy very sort of uplifting metal and sceney music uh I can't get away with knock loose and like the really really heavy end but uh anything that's got a little bit of Melody on there Mari May 12 there has been much discussion around pornography being harmful knowing this I can't help wondering if popular romance books that have very intense sexual content are just as harmful for readers who tend to be more female or do they just get designated as harmless because it's a book that's a pretty interesting question um so I don't know what the mechanism is that people think porn is harming men on that romance novels wouldn't do the same to women on maybe something about it being more visually stimulating maybe something about you being less involved in self-generating the fantasy but maybe there's an argument to be made that that's more damaging maybe it detaches you even further from what real life could be because this is purely a fantasy as opposed to at least you're constrained by the reality of watching two other the people that were actually people at some point I guess until you get to AI but yeah that's an interesting question um I've had a bunch of conversations about this the sort of panic and the the like porn harm thing from an evidence-based perspective seems to be up in the air uh I'm that there's this like felt sense this kind of ick this naturalistic fallacy type thing it's like it can't be good for guys to spend all of their time and we know that some people kind of get behaviorally addicted to porn therefore Downstream from that it's got to be bad for everyone I'm not saying it's not I'm just saying that I'm yet to see any evidence that says that it is definitively um and there is a lot of evidence on the other side of the fence too but that's a really unpopular if you want to campaign to be porn isn't as bad as you think it is you are fighting an incredibly unpopular corner there uh I'm an open book on that but my point would be if there are issues if porn genuinely is a negative impact for most men I would be surprised to find out that Romance Books aren't having a negative impact on women because satiating sexual desire without having to leave the house uh allowing fantasy to creep in which may create uh an unrealistic expectation uh both for your other partner and for what happens during uh the bedroom so yeah maybe uh we need to age verify romance box so have they got a they must have there's no way that you could go and buy 50 Shades of Gray and be 12 years old or something that has to be a an age limitation on box anyway uh Texas's porn ban thing is in so maybe maybe they'll come for the buck next Joseph Thompson congrats man do you feel like you have more support or less now compared to when you started the Pod yeah that's a good question I think um it's weird when you get to something that people would call success because you see you as the same person but the world sees you as someone else and when you're on the way up everybody's happy to support you because you're just the Young upstart making it you know know it's spit and sawdust and and cable ties and cell tape and you go man you go get it and then you get to some kind of size or escape velocity and people then look at you and say that it's a position of privilege or that you you know chilling for the government or that the CIA is come in and you're glowing and whatever accusation they throw at you but you're just the same person to you you've just been one person throughout this whole thing and the way that people saw you at 10,000 Subs versus 3.25 million Subs has completely changed and I think we have a tendency to want to root for the underdog uh and this sense in the back of our mind that really really large success especially very public success especially very public success that hasn't come by virtue of specific expertise that is something that triggers a lot of people to uh be mean I mean you know one of the issues I think people have with the world of podcasting and YouTube in general especially if you do what I do like I'm just a professional stupid person in the room right I'm I'm a good avatar for the lay person who didn't stop doing a thing and was able to communicate relatively well and here we are but when you look at me when most people look at me I think what they see is someone whose abilities are probably kind of Within Reach like yeah you know if not for the accent and the hairline and the timing there could have gone ey you know there's I'm not LeBron James starting a podcast I'm not Taylor Swift starting a podcast I'm not somebody who's got an unbelievable sort of Untouchable amount of talent that is doing a thing I'm normal person doing a thing and I think that that maybe in the back of some many people's minds triggers this sense of well why that could have been me and in that sense of that could have been me and it's not and if there is Envy there which there definitely shouldn't be like it's not a [ __ ] dream all the time this is an awful lot of work and uh yeah it's not exactly a breeze um if you feel that one of the ways that you can try and shorten the gap between why did that person get that thing that I want and why did I not get it is by dragging them down so that's when the accusation of you must have had Rich parents comes in it's like one of the best ways to know when you fully reached some degree of uh fame or reputation is that people accuse you of having Rich parents what are they saying they're saying the only way that you did this was by unfairly getting a leg up in the beginning and if I'd had that type of a leg up I would have been able to get there too so uh what I'm saying is total amount of support is greater but relative amount of hate is way higher um you know million to one odds happen eight times a day in New York City so if you accumulate a sufficiently big pool of people watching anything that you do you will accumulate a lot of haters and given the fact that we remember the insults but we forget the compliments any increase in platform size doesn't feel like an increase in support it largely just feels like an increase in hate uh so working hard at doing that so what I'm saying is pay me more compliments that would be that's the main takeaway CP Griffin why don't you include Spotify or other platform subscribers in your follow account milestones we feel like we're not part of the team you definitely are part of the team uh I think the main reason that I do it is that the Spotify and apple podcast subscriber numbers are private so and I can tell you it's 930 something thousand followers on Spotify I can tell you about it but nobody else knows so I mean first off I could be lying uh secondly by virtue of it not being public there's less of a reason to sort of celebrate I've said to if because I'm a part of their creator Council uh I've said to them they need to do uh public follow accounts and they also need to do uh plaques like YouTube does for 100k and a million because getting a million followers on Spotify is way harder than getting it's million followers on Spotify is probably 5 million on YouTube I think it's probably about it's probably about five to one in terms of difficulty to accumulate them so that's what I'm saying uh but you are definitely part of the team and you're so much part of the team that we're uploading 900 episodes of video thing to Spotify so everyone can watch create or Kate what is it like on the top does it get easier when you win or problems get more complex and cost more I guess it depends whether you're talking about personal or professional um personally it's more complex but not necessarily more costly uh business-wise it's both more complex and more costly like what it's like at the top which I'm definitely not at but toward the top um you need to develop a very different set of skills you know what gets you out of the atmosphere is really just hard work you're just sort of gritting your teeth you don't have enough experience to have unlocked any Talent you've got so really no matter how talented you are it only gives you a little bit of a leg up because you need the experience to really unlock the talent so without experience your talent is sat dormant and you don't have experience to tap into experience so all you've got is hard work and that means you work super hard and then you get to the stage where you actually need to work way less hard like your job is not to work hard your job is to have good ideas and that for me with my Puritan workingclass mentality feels opulent and Bourgeois and lazy uh and it doesn't give you the immediate dopamine that a lot of the time I've been used to because you know sending all of the emails and being frantic and having a busy calendar uh that's not the skill set that gets you from whatever 95 to 96 or 96 to 97 but it is the skill set that gets you from n to one um yes it's more complex yes it costs more and it's a different sort of skill set uh it doesn't necessarily get easier in every way it gets more difficult in some and are you going to work as hard when you're at the absolute top probably not but all of the routines and habits that you built up of working hard you need to not perfect example of this if you're somebody that's type a classic insecure overachiever and you like to go to the gym the hardest thing for me to tell you to do would not be to go and train hard the hardest thing for me to tell you to do would be to sit on the couch and not train like that would be harder than you having to go to the gym why because you're a driven person and what you've learned is that if you go and you work hard you feel good afterward so letting go of that uh and then again this is one of those problems that nobody's going to give you sympathy for it's like oh poor person that's managed to achieve some success whining about how they need to not work so hard and they need to focus on a different mode they need to delegate they need to learn to be a leader not to be a boss they need to learn to be like a an idea person not to be an operator uh but it's true uh at least as far as I can see unless you want to cap yourself at just being a grunt who grinds things out over and over again and if you do that you're going to limit the uh Pace that you can do this at because you can't work that hard you can't run marathon pace for 24 hours you need to take a break and if you're going to try and do this for a very long time you need to dial back off the gas so cell9 do you feel sad about being 36 and unmarried or without a life partner don't you want children you would be a good father well thank you for the nice like tap on the back after you beating me up and throwing me out the door uh I feel sad about being 36 and unmarried or without a life partner don't you want children I can't wait to be a dad uh I really do want children the more that I think about it the more that I spend time around them a lot of my friends have had kids recently or are pregnant or whatever at the moment and uh I I'm fir up for it but I focused on different things when I was young and I focused on different things when I'm slightly less young as well and I hope I don't look back and regret it I don't think that I'm going to I'm intent on building a family that I'm really going to love but look you you can't do everything at once and uh I've hopefully done things that set up the future family that I create to be well positioned uh materially emotionally holy [ __ ] even you know three years ago if I look at the person I was forget forget all of the objective metrics of everything just the subjective way that I showed up and what I knew about myself and uh I've made a big difference and I don't know whether I would have been able to do that whilst learning to swim or fly with a family at the same time uh different people on different timelines and um but I am aware and I am Expediting the timeline as best I can like it's not just the sort of thing that you do on your own so yeah I'm moving quickly guy fincham PhD do you practice breath work if so details please yes I do uh State app St a t uh is what I've used for half a decade now it's great I must have done I must have done thousands of sessions on that thing bunch of different Pathways it's super cheap I think it's maybe two bucks three bucks a month and um that's awesome uh um there's a couple of YouTube videos that I've done holotropic stuff two-part breathing breathe to stomach breathe to chest breathe out breathe to stomach breathe to chest some of those have got gratitude stuff that works in with it some don't uh but State app is the best One-Stop shop cake which podcasters would you cast in a liveaction adaptation of Red Rising [ __ ] that's good which podcasters okay Rogan's got to be Darrow Michael malice can be severo h I don't know who would be the Super there's no super Chad podcasters there's no insanely good-looking podcasters so we're stuck leave that with me and I'll come back to you uh that would be good I mean whose Mustang gonna be [ __ ] Whitney Cummings like I don't know and also for everybody that hasn't read Red Rising like what anyway Go download the reading list and you'll explain why chriswell x.com poox Mary broadman to what do you owe your success you started with no listeners and grew so much uh just consistency I think um it's the one thing that everybody who I know that's successful has got and being consistent doesn't guarantee that you'll be successful but not being consistent will guarantee that you won't reach success and uh that's been it for me too I just didn't stop and you know that's one of the funny things about getting criticized of I don't know some help up from the non-existent uh wealthy parents or you know whatever whatever accusation that people give to really anybody that's spent a long time doing something it's like bro there's 900 episodes how how are you lying at the feet of anything that isn't just repetitions over and over and over again so it's just consistency um you know coming out of love Island I gained 3,000 subscribers on Instagram uh so it wasn't that and it was love Island was like four years before I started the show uh it wasn't me standing on the front door of nightclubs it was just doing a thing working hard at it thinking about it paying attention and not stopping and I'm pretty sure that that's just the solution to everything else as well if you've got the Raw Talent eeri 7 what's the crack for episode 1,000 cheers yeah we've been thinking about that I want to do 999 1000 10001 I want to do three [ __ ] back to back I don't know what it's going to be um but we have got that in the back of our mind it's going to be uh October time I think something like that will be episode 1,000 so 900 is coming up shortly oh maybe it'll be a little earlier yeah it'll maybe be October September October time we'll do something great Steph vagan biggest thing you learned from seum man I learned I've learned so much from that guy he's been really formative to me I think uh an important rebalance against homo's influence on me it's like uh seom and Alex are the good Angel and the bad Angel sat on either shoulder like jacked as [ __ ] Angels um you know Alex is telling me stop being such a [ __ ] just work harder deny your feelings you don't need to feel them just keep going this is the challenge that your future self will tell as a story Chris is saying embrace the way that you feel don't flee from your feelings tell other people open up don't work too hard spend time at the beach and um he I've definitely been in a seum era not a hosi era for probably the last six to 12 months or so this has coincided with me reflecting more about sort of what I want from Life certainly becoming more uh serious about wanting to have a family wanting to settle down wanting to set myself up for the rest of life as in create the kind of cadence of living and working that I can do for a few decades as opposed to having to find something new to do like this is the thing if you work really really hard and you blow up as in get the Big Exit or or or achieve the level of success and you never need to work again or or you've got some sort of a business that allows you to really really step back if you're a driven person you're just going to turn turn yourself inside out trying to find new challenges to do uh and the other route if you were so that's if it goes right but if it goes wrong you're burned out and maybe you kick yourself out of the game because you've damaged your health or you've damaged your motivation or you've lost passion for whatever the industry was that you used to be in so biggest lesson that I've learned from Chris is emotions um to embrace them to listen to them uh and The Bravery to be able to to open up to a partner about them uh is yeah I mean he's the king he's the absolute king of it so Ricardo pen are tips for being more positive and optimistic being less of a hater that's a great question and I appreciate that you asked it because I think um a lot of people Revel in their negativity and you know being positive online is very rarely rewarded if you look at you know all of the top comments unless they're really funny they're almost always like a piss take it's either clapter funny genuinely or some sort of a piss take so uh tips for being more positive and optimistic just be around people that are positive and optimistic it's especially if it's a U-turn in terms of values you can try really hard and think about it or you can just be around people like the person you want to be like and that's a much quicker route I think to it'll expedite because you're going to have the social pressure of these people being like that and if you come in and they're always being positive about stuff and you just come in and you're disparaging and you take the piss and you're negative and you're back bitey they're just not going to want to be around you and you're going to feel so awkward if you've got an ounce of social awareness you're going to be so awkward because you think ah this isn't the vibe this is a group that wants to Big everybody up and I keep coming in and saying these mean things and then you're going to have whatever that French word is for staircase regret uh where you leave a party and you go damn I really I really should have been Kinder when he brought up that new project he was working on but I I I wanted to get this quing I wanted to make myself seem really cool so I said this thing that sort of tucked the piss a bit but no one really laughed and I don't like me when I'm like that so be around people like the person you want to be like positive and optimistic and Godspeed Mike atleta you mentioned about your autoimmune problems once or twice promised a full episode and disappeared with it can you please mention how you tackled it on the Q&A some of us suffer exactly from that and don't know how to fix it your help is much needed thank you all right yeah so um being completely honest the reason that I haven't uh done the big Roundup to sort of explain what went on and what's going on is that it's still going on and talking about a negative situation when it's not resolved uh doesn't make people listening feel hopeful it makes them feel sad for you and as much as sympathy is very welcome um I don't know I it feels weird to it feels weird to me to be I don't know does it come across as if I'm a woe is me please look at help I need some sympathy thing I don't know it just it didn't feel right it didn't feel right to um to talk about it until it is resolved but it's been over a year now and it's still not so long and short of it uh got covid 18 months ago was living in a house that had toxic molding didn't know uh turns out like 85% of people that I've got EBV uh Epstein bar virus which that got kicked off by the mold plus the co then America is very unforgiving to immigrants so uh the food system here just ruins anybody that wasn't born here um although it's bad because you've been exposed to red 40 and blue three and you've got ADHD and autism uh it's good because your stomach's used to them but if you move here you don't have those things but your stomach has no idea what to hit it and it's sure enough two and a half years or two years in like everybody else every Mexican person that I know that moved here uh turn of gut disbiosis candida H pylori sibo roundworm and liver fluke from [ __ ] Africa maybe I don't know um tinitus memory loss mood disregulation sleep I'm falling asleep at 8:00 at night 8:30 at night every single evening um and it's like the most Salient part of my entire life the reason that I don't talk about it that much on the show apart from right now is it a bit of a buzzkill this isn't Fun you guys come here I don't know maybe you come here to find out about me but presumably you come here for interesting conversations and a good vibe and a good hang and I don't know I think I get worried about ruining that uh or not not being a professional right being a professional is sucking it up and delivering the doing what needs to be done in any case and um I'm proud that I managed to do that over the last year because it's not been superbly easy and it's meant that I've had to dial back a lot of workload uh spend a ton more time and effort and money and thought Cycles um trying to fix it uh but yeah that's it uh in terms of how I tackled it the same way that everybody else will have done with binders and colestyramine and phospha choline and glutathione and red light therapy and saas and ozone and high dose vitamin C IVs and a ton of other stuff and I will detail the whole protocol of everything that I did but to be honest because I'm still like balls deep in it maybe the worst I've ever been from a health perspective at least a felt Health perspective even though we fixed a lot of those problems uh I'm hesitant to go and this is what I did because I also would go this is what I did and it's still an issue so I don't know man um I I'm sorry if it's felt like I've opened the door and then abandoned everybody uh but that's not because I'm off Dancing in the Moonlight having a great time it's because I'm still down in the Tren she's trying to fix it uh so that's the update on my health uh I hope that's useful I'll have more stuff soon we've tracked a lot of it with Max the videographer so there will be I guess a semi-interesting Vlog coming at some point uh which will show me in various states of disrepair getting a lot of different treatments and in a good mood and in a bad mood and sad and all the rest of it so hopefully that'll help and uh if nothing else just keep on keeping on getting enough sleep and uh yeah I'll I'll keep you updated Blake Alexander 925 what can the left do to win back young men I mean first off stop castigating them uh stop telling them that they're broken women stop telling them that they are misogynistic and depressive and patriarchal and privileged because no group is going to be shamed or patronized or passive aggressed into supporting your cause uh so it's like what can the left do to stop pushing men away young men away before they even look to win them back then because they're actively pushing them away further and further um and then once they've done that I think provide a positive vision for what young men could be like what is it you know I saw this on Reddit somewhere maybe it was a genz thread or something else and somebody had asked people of the left assuming that don't like Andrew Tate and Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan who are some positive male role models that you can think of that you would agree men should try to emulate and it was I I think almost all of them were [ __ ] fictional characters it was like Aragon from Lord of the Rings and like some guy from a sitcom I'd never heard of I think right if you're having to dig into fantasy novels and like romcoms in a desperate attempt or sitcoms in a desperate attempt to try and find role models for men that you can agree on you need to do some more work because your criteria for an acceptable man is one that's so unrealistic you've had to turn to [ __ ] fiction to make it happen and uh so that's it stop pushing them away stop calling them things that turn them off and provide a positive Vision I think if you just begin to do that Scott Galloway Scott G way understands the dynamic men's want for conquer and Mastery and progression and to to feel like they're contributing and to feel like they're valued young men like him who could have imagined and uh the same thing I think needs to be done at large uh yeah J deal maer 13 do you own any properties and or short-term rentals curious about your investment strategies so I do I think six houses in the UK uh that I accumulated while I was there doing The Nightlife stuff and that was classic 25% down LTV buy toet uh interest only mortgage as opposed to an equity repayment and they're just you know they're student properties that wouldn't be given to families in any case uh so I picked those up and they'll have Capital gained a little bit and they positive they generate positive cash flow every month but I'm going to unwind those over the next two to three years because your boy got his Visa renewed came back from Jamaica new Visa new driver's license and unless I actually mess up the USCIS can't get rid of me so I'm here for three years given that currently a dual tax citizen which is a [ __ ] nightmare and trying to If by the way if you ever move to another country and you need to start paying taxes in that country unwind the investments in the main one if you can if you can afford to live without them and if they're just small stuff because straddling two different tax markets is it's a nightmare so uh currently my personal house in the UK plus a bunch of others uh but all of the other ones except for my one are going to be let go of uh over the next few couple of years probably Ethan Stevenson 418 what country has the most beautiful women Ethan that's the wrong question question you need to ask yourself is which country has the ugliest men because you don't need beautiful women you need ugly men if your question is pointing in the direction that I think it is uh some areas that have a imbalance ratio a female attractiveness to male unattractiveness would be uh medine when I went to medine that was mindblowing that you have solid eight out of 10 Latinas with at best five out of 10 balding thinning on top guys I don't know what maybe maybe they're all super rich and I was in some area that I didn't really realize uh Dubai uh actually is but the problem there is that again you've got the rich thing and you actually are competing with oil Shake New World Order money uh but a lot of beautiful women there um where else Italy got some pretty beautiful women in it uh it's also got some beautiful men in it though see so you're fighting here need to find a place with ugly men and beautiful women and I think uh yeah I think Colombia is is a good place to start uh yeah get yourself off to Columbia it'll be fine uh Taro shobhan Ryan what were the pants you wore at the Melbourne show asking for my BF they were aloe the aloe can't remember the type of cargo pants that they are I think they're discontinued uh if you're in Melbourne maybe you can get them but in the US I've tried to buy another pair and uh they're discontinued so Tre sad but they were aloe with a draw string at the bottom and I love them and I'm sad that they've been stopped beat Nicks what's the biggest irrational fear that you have besides being unsuccess uccessful what's the biggest irrational fear that you have besides being unsuccessful I guess not being enough or not being good enough and I don't know who for I don't know know who I am scared of not being good enough for or enough for but just that energy that insufficient unwanted the sense that you always need to prove yourself you always need to sort of offer the world something in order for it to love you back and uh yeah I think the fear of not being enough has uh behind the scenes driven an awful lot of of what I've done and I think it's it's very common for a lot of people uh this the fear of Abandonment sense of always sort of being on the outside this like irrational fear the this sense that someone's mad at me and I don't know why uh very very familiar with and um the weird thing is that it is potent fuel to drive you to go and do some pretty magnificent things but it's toxic if you use it for too long so I'm working hard at trying to switch from diesel to Electric in that regard uh Carlton K how do you deal with your energy levels uh [ __ ] with difficulty bro right now because I fall asleep at 8:00 p.m. at night which makes me frustrated and sad uh and and bitter and uh I feel like life's passing me by in many ways even if I've had a great day even if I've done things and uh so I struggle um at the moment and I'm going to keep working until they're back you know it's so strange you talking to somebody who would work until two or three or 4: in the morning um running club nights and then drive back from Manchester and get in at 5:30 in the morning and then wake up at 10:00 and go and train uh and now if I haven't had 10 hours in bed I feel like I've been hit by a train and if I have any travel it's just it's it's rough it's really rough so um how do I deal with my energy levels I don't poorly I suppose and uh I will tell you once I've fixed them and I will stay awake for 48 hours and I will dance over the grave of this whiny little monologue that I've done Ashley no is putting out three shows a week sustainable long term even if you are doing what you love well we're five years deep into three a week and I'm still holding on so I there is a bit of me that wonders if two a week would be better in some ways the main reason now that I do two the reason I went from two to three was it was Co and I figured it would be a good opport Unity to keep me busy and also no one had any friends because we were all isolated in the house so it was a chance for me to make people feel less Alone by going from Monday Thursday to Monday Thursday Saturday uh now the reason that I do it is if you run weeks times episodes I have 150ish spots a year that's not that many people and there's 2,000 people that I want to speak to so if I go from 150 to 100 even though the workload is easier the sense that there's an interesting person I want to speak to [ __ ] I don't have a slot uh that's going to that's going to hurt um so I don't know there is a bit of me that thinks holding at three a week is tough it probably another five years would be the gas tank would start to dwindle a little but then another bit of me thinks but look at how much motivation get from speaking to another 50% on top of 100 more people than you would do if you only did two so it's a it's a balance and you will see I you I'm not going to be able to hide it if I go to two you'll know s I'm scared to ask for more even though I know I deserve it but shaking things up scares me beautiful sentiment so interesting um I think advocating for yourself learning to be assertive believing that your needs are worthwhile and not subjugating your desires in order to keep other people happy or so that you don't make a fuss or something um is super common and it's change which is scary shaking things up scares me it's going to require change it's going to require maybe other people will reject you maybe they'll think that you're entitled uh but in Newcastle there's a a tagline like a cocal saying that's shy Burns getting out and it means uh shy people don't get anything I.E if you don't ask you don't get and at the end of your life no one is going to give you any Applause or gratitude for saying she never made a fuss it's just not going to happen uh you can live a unur life of sort of quiet resentful subjugation or you can still be just as polite just as loving just as caring and you can have boundaries and you can set standards for yourself and for the people around you and I'm scared to ask for more even though I know I deserve it go please please just tomorrow try and ask for something just a little little thing whatever it is just a little thing ask for whatever more it is that you think that you need and uh the bottom line is it sounds like you're doing this with somebody else as well somebody else something else an organization a person a partner a dog I don't know um if that other entity isn't prepared to help you even if they know that you deserve it too why would you if this person isn't prepared to help you why would you sacrifice yourself just to keep them happy it's like I deserve this I would like this it would make my life better and it would make me happy no you can't have it okay no worries in that case I'll hurt myself by putting your needs ahead of mine please enjoy the rest of your life no way no way assertiveness politeness firmness boundaries very very important I hope it helps Sol Manoa What proportion of your success do you believe came from luck Market charm Etc uh at least so at least a good bit of it I think uh if I was starting now it would be significantly more difficult uh have you ever seen those Indiana Jones movies and he's running for the door and the big wall is coming down and he slides underneath and then he gets his he reaches back and he grabs his hat and he pulls it in uh that's kind of like from a timing perspective what I feel like with the world of podcast that if you look at really the only other shows that came after me that have been comparable in terms of size have been Steven bartler huberman and Shawn Ryan I think apart from people that already had uh big platforms and then sort of pivoted them or converted them in one way or another so uh timing yeah definitely look uh charm I'm not convinced that my charm has helped all that much looks unfortunately don't help really at all when it comes to the audio side of podcast you have to remember we do more plays on audio than we do on YouTube so I don't know the pretty privilege doesn't it's like the face for radio thing it's not a massive draw people are just listening to you we've only just put video on Spotify what three weeks ago so um but all of that being said it's a balance it's the same as everything if you do not take shots at goal if you're not consistent you can guarantee that any residual luck of market and charm and whatever uh isn't going to be captured so um yeah many legs up some that I'll have seen some that I wouldn't have done probably uh but also I feel you know firm in my uh Foundation of saying well I I think I deserve this too Alan tun seeing all the Lily Phillips and Bonnie Blue news is so depressing what is your reaction to them all right yes so I mean I I haven't done a oh my God Lily Phillips is sleeping with a thousand men in one day bro these [ __ ] are cooked um I haven't done this uh makes me pretty sad to be honest the main emotion that I feel is sadness um it does feel a little bit like anyone who is highly critical of Andrew Tate from a cultural perspective and an influence perspective but not highly critical of Lily Phillips and Bonnie Blue from a cultural influence perspective I would be interested to know how they square that Circle because it is the criticisms that are lodged at Tate are that he is all of the worst parts of toxic modern masculinity and you really should I think keep the same uh philosophy the same level of scrutiny uh and the same standards when you're looking at Lily Phillips and Bonnie Blue like is this not the most sort of extreme version of modern liberated toxic femininity using body for sex uh basically being treated like a like you're allowing men to masturbate with your bodies and then sort of proclaiming it as Liberation uh whilst crying I know it makes me sad dude and I can't say anything that hasn't already been said um but it is depressing and it makes me feel it does it make the Primary Emotion that I take away from it is sad and uh it's a bit Dow and um I mean you if the guy who's whining about his [ __ ] autoimmune problems thinks that what you do is sad you that that's the that's the worst review that you can get Daniel Morgan one having done the live show in London has your view on the UK being counterproductive to ambition or success from tall poy syndrome changed you seem to have had a very positive reaction when you were there I did have a very positive reaction when I was there and um no it unfortunately no it hasn't because there is always going to be these sort of kernels of inspiration and fire even in sort of really cold Tundras and um I was amazed we did the show was so fantastic the audience was so amazing everyone was so attentive so respectful there the vibe was exact I would have gone for a coffee with anybody in that entire Auditorium three and a half thousand people and then everyone at the meet and greet had cool things to say and a oh I've got this book I brought you a book and I've traveled with this book around the world it was it was [ __ ] amazing but those are the outliers that prove the rule in the UK the reason that they are in the the room apart from the fact that they're fans of the show one of the reasons that they're in the room is that there's nowhere else for them to go in the UK and it's the same all over this isn't just a UK thing right it was the same in Australia went out to Australia everybody lonely chapter uh leaving friends behind people wanting me to do the normal trodden path even though I know I don't want it we Dubai we had the same in Dubai a place that people moved to because they're already upward aiming and people still had that there in Canada we had that in the US we've had that but the UK has it it's like Ground Zero for this and um very positive reaction but it's a minority of people so when we do Glaston B sized stages and there's half a million people then I'll say that it's become a mass movement but for now it's just an underground Cult of people wanting to try and make their lives better because there's not really anywhere else for them to go Big Bob 677 what is the proper balance between having social life and not drinking and smoking constantly I think you can tell what I'm going to say here you you don't necessarily have to drink and smoke constantly to have a social life if you don't want to drink and you don't want to smoke but you do want to be social and the only friends that you have to be social with want to be around you if you're drinking and smoking constantly you need to get better friends you need to get different friends because they're not in the same place that you are and this is one of the SAT this exactly what I was just talking about lonely chapter leaving friends behind it can't grow at the same Pace as you or don't want to grow in the same direction as you you you need to have people around you like the person you want to be like it sounds like you don't want to drink and smoke constantly it sounds like the social life you have revolves around that you need new friends or you need to get really really selective with the ones that are there and say hey man I don't want to drink and I don't want to drink or or rip a dart for the next three months are you in can we do this together will you do this with me and you will always sort of regress back to the mean with this and the mean is going to be the person that's the most Degen the person that's taking the easiest path if you're on a diet and you live in a house with two other guys and both of them get takeaway every Saturday and Sunday it's going to be really rough but if you are trying to diet and you live in a house with two guys who are already dieting it's going to be a piece of piss so yeah you need to change your circle Rossy Janny congrats Chris welld deserved and thank you for your fantastic content thank you question how do you find your thing in life workwise sometimes I envy the people who have known since they were a child to become a doctor or a pilot since I seem to struggle to get a grip on anything my problem is that I get super into something and feel like it lasts for a few days or a week and then come up with a new thing again my ultimate goal would be to just enjoy my time not to reach for fancy things at the moment I have a decent job but everything feels too normal and sort of boring yeah I um I feel this sense of Envy toward people that kind of had that path because when when you know that you've got drive but you're permanently being distracted and you're grasping and you're moving between lots of different things it feels like it feels like all four tires of the car going as fast as possible but in opposite directions so you don't actually move you know that you've got fuel inside of you and the capacity to go and do something but because it's not being pointed in the right direction you end up going kind of nowhere and that's really frustrating so first off accept the fact that that's frustrating and give yourself a little bit of a a pat on the back even if it's a champagne problem luxury issue it's difficult it's difficult to deal with and you're not the only one this isn't a personal curse that's just being bestowed on you this is as far as I can see an endemic part of being an individual who is maybe competent at a bunch of different things and also interested in lots of different things and that is something to be proud of that's something that you can use now the issue with you getting super into something and feeling like that lasts for a few days or a week that in is one of probably two things first one is a planning problem that there is some hurdle that you come up against that was unforeseen you really wanted to get into tie boxing or you really wanted to get into playing pickle ball or you really wanted to get into Sala dancing or you really wanted to start a business or you really wanted to start vlogging or whatever but you didn't for see some issue with one of those things structurally operationally in terms of the way that it's implemented into your schedule or what it's going to take out of you or the sacrifices you're going to have to make so maybe you can get around that from planning perspective sit down here's my inspiration I'm excited but hold on what are the prices I'm going to have to pay how I'm going to make sure that I can keep at this then the second part would be just not being distracted and actually committing and using some discipline so if you decide this is the thing I'm going to do set a time I would suggest 30 days and then I would suggest 3 months those would be the two blocks uh something that's a bigger commitment uh like something that has longer term sort of validity um creating a substack let's say that you want to write I maybe I should be a writer I've always kind of liked writing I'm going to start a substack you need to do that once a week for three months but if it's I'm going to try out Barry's Boot Camp or this new workout class or something he can probably get away with doing that once a week for four weeks and then go ah bares wasn't it but maybe Orange Theory or maybe solid core or maybe whatever um CrossFit BJJ you can move through those things more quickly but set yourself a time and don't quit before that plan use the enthusiasm to build the plan doesn't need to be super complex just what would make this succeed what would make this fail why do I want to do it three questions next thing commit to a Time minimum of one month up to a maximum of probably six months I would suggest three months reassess at the end of that and don't change and don't stop Henry 6595 do you travel for work often seems like you're always on the Move yeah uh you know that's the additional level of pain on top of all of the stuff from the last year is so much travel and it's fun and I love it and it's amazing and I've got to see Australia and Montana and and and Gatlinburg and Miami and Florida and all of these different places but it is energy sapping and um I mean the people that like comedians working comedians who by the way I don't know whether you've realized this I only realized this recently the way that comedians in the US do a domestic tour they don't run a tour like a band does because when you're in a band in order to be able to sort of set up the uh stage all of the staging the lighting all of that and because presumably there's quite a few of you together um they need to batch together the tour so it tends to be you know between two weeks and two months long and it's essentially back-to-back shows or one-on-one off or something like that comedians at least in the US will go Friday Saturday or maybe Thursday Friday Saturday every week for 20 weeks so there's this sort of weird weekly Cadence that they've got uh so for them my point being that's rough um but yeah it's been a lot of travel and it's exciting and I love it and it's also energy sapping and when you're at home you want to be traveling and when you're traveling you want to be at home and it is the uh inevitability of Life Travis Manning 9682 what's your training split looking like now so I am following uh RP strength you can go to RP strength.com wisdom and they've got a discount it's the way I've trained for over a year now and I just I do what the app says I've got a PT that I work with three days a week so I follow along with him and this session's a roughly sort of a push P legs isy split it's kind of like that and um I love it and I've done it for over a year now and my gains have been the they've been in probably a decade so all hail Mike Israel and go to RP strength.com wisdom JN agoston 436 relationship question I love my girlfriend she's super cute funny and kind however she's not intellectual at all and I regret that she doesn't want to/ can't have deeper or more complex conversations Sometimes some days I think it's not a big deal other days the thoughts reappear I don't know if I'm overthinking things and I want to feel like my relationship has to be perfect not sure how to navigate this any advice is deeply appreciated PS thanks for doing what you do my life has improved considerably since finding your content thank you and uh dude fair play for asking this question because first off you've asked it publicly and secondly you know that it's something that's sort of playing on your mind so you're obviously reflective this basically comes down to what do you want to prioritize so there are no Solutions in the world of relationships there's only tradeoffs I mean maybe there is the absolute perfect funny cute kind and intellectual girl who speaks your language lives in your area is available right now it's the right age wants the same life outcomes that you do all of those things uh but you need to ask yourself given the fact that that's not a certainty you're not always going to NE necessarily trade up you're probably just going to swap familiar problems for unfamiliar problems and it's like a it's playing blackjack right you going to stick or you going to hit well you know you've got a 17 or whatever [ __ ] yeah but I could get a 21 or I could get a 20 and uh you don't know so I guess what it comes down to is how important is having deep and complex conversations to you one thing I would say is marriage as far as I can tell as a unmarried never married person who wants to be married um marriage is one long conversation what you're basically looking for is the best conversation partner that you can who you could spend 20,000 hours speaking to and not get bored because that's what your marriage is going to be your marriage is going to be one huge [ __ ] off podcast that never gets broadcast anywhere and you need to make sure that you can have a conversation that does not get tiresome no matter how long it goes on for if you want somebody who you can open up to about the most difficult darkest parts of your life your relationship should feel like home it should be a safe harbor for you and I don't know whether if you have all of the things you can open up you feel safe you're reassured your nervous system is dialed you never feel disregulated she's understanding she Ador you she worships the ground that you walk on but uh we don't really feel that fired up about the conversations that we have that's a fair trade to make to get rid of it but you need to ask what do you prioritize most uh because it's uh one of those trades that you don't get to have a a store credit for you can't pull the pin and then get it back at least you can't get it back the way that it was so it's a an irreversible decision so think wisely work out how important it is uh but also consider that this is a it's one long emotional regulation uh scenario with a conversation attached to it and um you need to make sure that you got both of those things w how have you dealt with cutting out friends from childhood do you have certain regrets around it [ __ ] I'm so hot I'm going to have to take this hoodie off modern wisdom merch not yet available um how have you dealt with cutting out friends from childhood do you have certain regrets around it uh I have zero friends from before the age of 18 uh zero friends no one that I'm particularly close to some of the people that I played Cricket with from my old club uh I don't think I speak to a single person that I went to school or college with still um so that would be all of my formal education until the age of 18 and maybe a few people from the sport that I played soon as I went to UNI bunch of those people come along for the ride but I don't know uh I have I have no no regret around it at all I didn't particularly enjoy my time in school I wasn't made to feel particularly welcome in school and uh I have no desire to revisit the that world I there was there was nothing for me when I was there so going back oh yeah check this out uh I've there's no reason for me to go back to it so for me personally but I understand that that's a a slightly non-typical uh situation so no Allan Wicked 91 992 have you ever bitten off more than you can chew workwise literally my entire working life probably from the age of 19 turned 19 6 months into uni probably from then until about six months ago so a full you know 17 years or something uh I permanently bit off more than I could chew I I rode the threshold of burnout for you know the best part of two decades and uh maybe some would say well have you considered that might contribute to the way that your health feels at the moment you'd probably be right so you know whatever but it's common you're a type a person you want to maximize your time on this planet you don't want to [ __ ] about out you want to make a dent you're going to bite off more than you can chew that being said do it in your 20s and a bit of your 30s uh and work out how hard you can work and know that you've got that in the tank and if the [ __ ] hits hits the fan you can get back to doing it but after a while at least in my experience and you know this has kind of been brought on by the uh chronic awareness of my own work mortality by having my capacity severely diminished over the last 12 months um that fuel kind of starts to run out and you realize is that the dopamine you get from just being busy doesn't necessarily move you toward the life that you want that what you're doing is you're healing existential loneliness and a need to feel important and a need to feel like you're making progress by being busy but not doing things that matter and that's a very dangerous situation to being because you can you can create an addiction to the dopamine of pressing enter on the email and none of the emails that you've sent for the last hour actually move you any closer to the life you want they don't actually even do anything for the business that you're working on or the project that you're trying to achieve they've just kept you busy and uh sure there's worse ways that you can distract yourself with drugs and junk food and stuff like that but dope means a hell of a drug as well so yeah be careful with it J Jal jalexander revans how do you feel about turning 40 soon I'm 36 okay it's not soon 37 next month 36 okay I'm going to be like David Brent in the office where he's going 30s I'm in my 30s uh it's not soon okay got ages unless you're that guy asking about my wife that I don't have Isaac Rogue what are the plans with new tonic uh okay no new SKS I don't want to make no more products right James Wanted the focus but people might think that the conversations that me and James have on the newtonic marketing all for show or something that's it's perilously close it's maybe like selected you know uh specifically but it's perilously close to our real working relationship and uh he wanted the focus blend because you can't get the the cans in Australia so he wanted to drink in Australia I'm a huge fan of the brain capsules those brain capsule uh TS the red pills are [ __ ] money I think you know the cans are amazing and they're always going to be amazing because we worked so hard on the taste and they're enjoyable and all the rest of it but caffeine-free I challenge anybody to put something in their mouth that makes them feel better that is legal uh those brain capsules are phenomenal I just don't want any new skews because I I my point being for I've whined and talked about that I don't over confuse what we are as a company we are brain health company we are productivity performance and focus right but cognitive we don't need anything else we don't need a suppository we don't need a sniffable powder I would be down for doing a Zin style pouch because I think that would just be funny but that would be a joke product that wouldn't be a real product and I just want to really really dial in uh we are going to do a raise uh so we're going to be raising some some Capital uh because we want to go into retail in the UK and in the US uh it's not cheap unfortunately cans cost just an absurd amount of money the margins on them are awful which means you need tons of cash in order to be able to get the stock order in order to be able to put the stock into the retailers in order for them to be able to sell it in order to get more cash back in order to be able to grow and you can do it by bootstrapping but it's going to take you forever so we're going to get an injection of cash uh which means we're going through valuations and we're doing pitch decks and all this other stuff and uh largely I'm not involved I get kind of wheeled out to sell a dream um but the coming up with the figures and all of I mean I have input I guess I I could contribute something useful if I was asked but I don't know about like annual eidar and annual run rate mul multiplicativity pack by the end of the year so we'll probably release at least one new flavor uh on the cans and then that would mean that we could do a four pack one of each four flavors variety pack by the end of the year and I think that would be awesome um the peach mango and the mixed berry on the focus blend the stick packs great awesome flavors we've got one more flavor that we might release with that and then brain capsules are just money and I I just keep on using those so yeah between those keep growing get more people on board we've got subscriptions now you can get discounts uh we've got cool welcome gifts and stuff coming uh so just do that and keep making cool marketing because I love the marketing for it h uh and inside story when will you have someone on to talk about non-violent communication I believe you said it's the best example of the worst branding I don't remember saying that but I agree with me nonviolent communication is terribly branded uh because the what's implied is that all other communication is violent which may be true I mean who knows but uh I probably need to learn a little bit more about it I got sent I've been doing like a really deep dive into relationship Dynamics recently so Stant hatkins uh your brain on love or this is your brain on love [ __ ] awesome and then from that I got conscious loving suggested to me and I think that conscious loving is half a step away from nonviolent communication or at least nonviolent communication's included in that so I need to do quite a bit of research and alongside all the reading to do for the show that's like more more more more on top but I'll get that and uh I feel like nonviolent communication is kind of like the CBT of the relationship world it's quite evidence-based at least from what I can tell evidence-based very well regarded people are impressed with it but just [ __ ] awful brand and I haven't got R to it yet so hold on tight Oliver Oliver norgrove Chris how if at all has your personal money management improved over the years um I look I I think the the only thing that I've been particularly good at when it comes to money management is I don't have a big I don't have extravagant uh spending habits I'm not a particularly showy person I like nice things but you know I'm talking about nice things like a new pair of trainers or a nice car but not an insane car or you know a coffee where I don't have to look at the the price tag I don't tend to have particularly expensive tastes uh and I guess the other side has been even if investing like managing money is in putting it in places and moving it around and ETFs and all this stuff even if that hasn't been super dialed uh I've just worked sufficiently hard to accumulate money and um I don't know I don't have I'm not a credit card points Optimizer I'm not a cash back guy I I never have been that sort of stuff just feels like homework to me um and I've always felt guilty about not doing it like I should uh you know like if I care about my net worth I should be maximizing all of these different opportunities to do it uh and I didn't do it when I was poor and and I still don't do it now so um I guess I felt more guilty previously but you can only prioritize on so much stuff one time um honestly the 90% of my investing strategy comes from Morgan howel which is just dollar cost average into the S&P 500 and leave it for a few decades so he was the guy I trusted him so I've just followed that since I spoke to him four years ago or something I don't know how much I've got in the S&P now but it's gone up so more hopefully I guess Ben boy mindset has anyone farted on a modern wisdom podcast maybe Jordan Peterson from all that stake I think Jordan's actually very far down the list from that because of how clean the pipes are going to be I mean look regularly I can but I have the opportunity to M mute my microphone uh so sometimes Dean I will have to put a little note in like 20 4 minutes 30 seconds mute my mic if I forgot to uh but I can mute it for the guest but it doesn't mute the local recording so sometimes Dean's version so he has had a laugh uh on particularly gassy days but I don't think so Mark Norman burps a lot uh but apart from that not much gas simonuca your channel is slowly but surely changing my life for the better it's awesome to see you have so much fun doing what you love I come to you to educate myself and this prompted my question how do you handle it when an expert you're talking to directly contradicts another expert you've spoken to which do you believe and why I find it important to have accurate knowledge of topics discussed in case it comes up in Social conversation thank you so much Chris well I appreciate that and uh if you're working very hard so that you can have good social conversations uh you sound like you should become friends with the block that wants to stop smoking because I think he needs that um look no two experts agree even the ones that train together they're all going to have different perspectives direct contradiction becomes more difficult because if someone says you should be vegan another says you should be carnivore those are diametrically opposed and you can't do them both unfortunately this is where you as the audience and me as essentially a member of the audience as well I'm an AUD member of the audience to my own show this is the show I made this for myself and you know I bring on guests that I ask questions to that I want to know the answers of um you need to do some Discerning well does this fit me does this fit my life is that the sort of person that I am perfect example of this Dry Creek Dwayne and David Goggins Dwayne literally said I see myself as the anti- David Goggins Goggins obviously sees himself as like Goggins is dark Goggins so okay which direction do you want Weston man do you want Cowboy wisdom with cigar in hand who will be happy that he just didn't mess something up today and that would be the total accomplishment of his 24 hours or do you want ancestral trauma endurance running until your knees bleed man and you have these two options right but it's for you yes when we're talking about science and health and sleep should it be a little bit less open to interpretation mostly but what you should be trying to draw out of it at least what I try and draw out of it is okay where is this relevant to me what are the underlying dynamics that go okay is fasting actually better than going keto well what you're trying to do is calorie restriction and I don't actually like avocado that much and I don't like it when I have that much fat because it kind of makes me feel a bit bloated or whatever so maybe I'm going to try the intermittent fasting thing both of them could be true even if the the mechanisms that their proponents are suggesting are a little squirely and maybe they're getting out over their skis a bit there needs to be some filtering you know the BBC dragged Bartlett about this uh about a month ago having experts on that contradicted each other or said things that science disagrees with and stuff like that and look there's a threshold that you can reach where uh your size and the claims being made by people become ridiculously egregious has Steven reached that I'm not sure but it's so patronizing when those kinds of stories come out because it treats the audience like their brain dead morons you're smart people if you sit through the sort of episodes that go out on this channel you're a smart person you can think for yourself you're Discerning you don't need me or the BBC to [ __ ] spoon feed you what you should think that's the entire reason that the independent Creator economy started so that you can pick and choose and if you don't like it you can go to a different Channel go you know what it is like I I I don't think that this is this I I don't agree with this and this is for me go ha I don't agree with that but it's really interesting that I've learned about it um it's tough one it's tough one I would love there to be uh just a One-Stop shop IMDb rating of the accuracy of what everybody's done but there isn't and the positions that scientists and health experts and everybody else has are going to contradict each other and it is your job to try and be Discerning as best you can David baressi when you started out what Vision did you have for yourself and the channel and how did you get through the first few months dude the first few months I was [ __ ] flying all I wanted to do was record the show I was thinking about it 24/7 it was early 2018 I think I'd just gone through a breakup so I had that I had that like post breakup resentment energy and uh I was I was having a great time I was locked in routine daily routine reading uh it was great um I had no vision for myself on the channel I just wanted to learn about myself in the world around me and that's largely what I think everyone's Pet Project should be what do you want to see in the world make that and you just don't get bored I didn't do it for plays I've never done it for that so it was easy we weren't getting any and I didn't care uh Ethan Powers congrats thank you would you be interested in the calendar being 13 months of 28 days instead of what we have does that work what is 13 * 28 364 holy [ __ ] so you'd have 13 months of 28 days and one month of 29 imagine if you did that with February 13 months of 28 days I actually really like that I've never even thought about that as a as a potential that all of the extra two and three days you get on top of 28 would allow you to have another month and it would align most months with a four-week cycle [ __ ] this is good this is really good I could start I could start an entire new campaign around this this might be my thing you might have just given me my new identity um 13 months of 28 days is 364 days I'm down Ethan I'll I'll stand there on the battlefield with you uh I think it would would mess up quarters quarters would be a nightmare and halfes would be a nightmare but weeks into months would be a piece of piss anyway I I'm on board and I can't believe that it's taken me nearly 37 years realize that 13 * 28 is 364 Cal KNX what's your exit plan when it all goes south oh man I don't know [ __ ] masturbate furiously until I die of heat exhaustion I don't know uh we'll see I my current plan is sort my health and have more fun if I get to the end of this year and I've I've done that the show's going to do what the show's going to do the newsletter the writing all of that stuff I think will take over perfectly fine uh I need to focus on me this year and just not let the stuff drop not say anything stupid not get myself in trouble and um I think all of that will go great I got so many amazing guests like literally all of the dream guests I've Ever Wanted lined up for the rest of this year so I'm not really thinking Exit Plan I'm kind of to be honest I'm kind of in survival mode at the moment so just uh not looking too far ahead sloth ruptured my achilles s weeks ago any tips on how to get get back to normal activity running Sports everyone I speak to says it'll never be the same everyone you speak to is a [ __ ] prick my achilles is as good both of my achilles are equally good and I had a complete Detachment so don't listen to them read art of resilience by Russ Edgley uh obstacle is the way by Ryan holiday and watch the documentary resurfaced with Andy Murray that's my three car garage for you um two bucks you can listen to both uh obstacles way in art of Brazilians by Ross and watch that documentary follow a plan find a physio stick to the plan do not [ __ ] about eat lots of protein uh some additional collagen will help and just don't stop and in 12 months time you'll be able to look at all of those people that said that you couldn't get back to normal and you can stick your middle finger up at them as you run away perfectly functional Jack monu what is enough uh poignant question given when somebody asked what my biggest fear was earlier on uh probably not the best person to ask I guess um I don't know man you know humans are not designed to be happy we're designed to be successful and success is chasing things resources status money Partners uh reputation so I don't know um but I hope to find it and it's just got to be a state of mind right like the only way as Morgan hle says the only way to win the game is to stop moving the goal posts so yeah you need to it's unrealistic to suggest that you're going to reach some you can discount any worldly success doesn't matter at all just go live in a tree in the woods man and you'll be fine you don't need anything it's like we're social creatures we need validation we need to achieve [ __ ] okay we don't need to achieve like Bezos [ __ ] Bezos needs to achieve that you should look at people who are very successful with more pity than you do Envy what is it that's inside of them that's driven them to do that like look at how complex and involved your life has had to be in order for you to feel like you are enough and sure some people are driven by like this you know beautiful pull of just maximizing that sense of self but most people aren't most people are driven by a fear of not being enough need validation I want the world to love me and I'm not sure it's going to love me so I'm going to make it need me and need is close enough to to love so I think it's a state of mind that I haven't got to uh El K I heard you mention about your bladder training or retention in a podcast recently I need to shut the [ __ ] up about everything especially Health stuff could you go into more detail about you how you've done this as I have to get up in the night and have done so have done for so long would much appreciate it okay apparently I've talked about that so um during covid I noticed I was going to the bathroom more frequently I went to see my GP in the UK and he laughed and I thought is it [ __ ] funny something funny to you he said you wouldn't believe how many men have come to see me that have got the same thing and it's my pet theory that what had happened was working from home closer to the kitchen tap drinking more water with no boss looking over your shoulder and no structured timeline of when you're supposed to work and when you're not meant that you drank more went to the bathroom more frequently and you can detrain the valve that kind of sits at the bottom of your bladder so basically you have this pressure gauge inside of your bladder uh and when it gets to a certain level it says hey you need the bathroom but if you go very frequently you detrain that down so that it thinks you need to go when you've still got bags of room left on your bladder bad idea they put me on uh anticholinergics that help to get that muscle to chill out I stopped caffeine for 500 days and I just gritted my teeth despite the discomfort slight problem about anti-al energic if you know anything about the neut Tropic uh Blends that we've got in neonic products choline is a neurotransmitter anti-cholinergic is an anti Coline anti- energic so it kind of makes you dumber it definitely knocked probably you know six to 12 IQ points out I I forgot the name of the seaside town next to Manchester for 30 seconds one day it's like Blackpool yeah Blackpool that's it um so treat the medication carefully don't overdo it um go to a doctor they'll be able to do it it's very very common don't need to be embarrassed about it and now I've got the bladder of a a [ __ ] world champion so uh it's not broken you're not broken you'll be fine and uh as with everybody else godspeed uh where's Rob Thomas how are you feeling now with some separation from mold exposure I've been feeling a similar decline in fortitude and health had a third party assessment done the flag black mold very old property and moving end of month uh so yeah new house which is where this new studio is uh has been cleaned top to bottom a million times it was built last year so it hasn't hopefully had that much time to accumulate any mold we've got an HVAC thing that dehumidifies and like I've had to spend time and money and all sorts of stuff to just stop Austin from killing me uh which is a good Testament to how much I like being in America that the country is really doing its best to like stick a knife in my side and uh I just keep on like avoiding it as best as best possible um look I don't want to color your expectations but get out as quickly as possible and it will take some time I've been out of that house I lived in I mean you guys I don't know whether I even told you this uh I lived in hotels for four months last year um because the house that I was in was being remediated like cleaned of mold and uh that didn't work so then I went back into a hotel and then went traveling and then came back and moved into this one but it's going to take some time so I've been out of that house for nearly 12 months and I am still uh dealing with a lot of the effects so it is going to take a little bit of time Alex arango what was the lowest point in your life and how did you overcome it I don't want to be I don't want to be ungrateful but it's it's probably right now like you're probably watching me go through it which is a strange thing to say to a few million people uh I can't I think it I think it just shows it's so obvious and cliche but if you don't have your health like the sick man wants one thing the Wellman wants a thousand things um if you don't have your health there really is nothing else it's it's just so front and center of of everything and then all of the stories that you tell yourself about what this means and whether or not you're going to get well and how life's passing you by and this is your Youth and this is your fault you should be working harder at it um so I guess I'll tell you when I overcome it um but but it's been a a big learning experience and again [ __ ] Vibe killer am I right uh but you asked the question I'm trying to be open I'm trying to be honest hopefully it makes people who are well feel I mean Jesus Christ if you've got your health be just take 30 seconds for me please and just be grateful that your brain works and your mood is where it's supposed to be and you don't fall asleep at at 8:00 p.m. at night because if you have any ounce of Envy for something that you think that I have or people like me have I don't have those things currently I'm tired all the time no matter how long I sleep I fall asleep at 8:00 p.m. every night my brain feels like it's dripping out of my ears and I have no memory despite the fact that my job requires me to [ __ ] remember things specifically what Words which is the precise area of the brain that this thing gets at and my mood I never find myself in a good mood unless I've done the most ridiculous ritual rain dance beforehand like I've just finished a great workout in the gym with my best friend with a coffee in my hand listening to my favorite song and the Sun's shining and there's a bird tweeting like that maybe there's a little bit of lift uh so if you've got your health take 30 seconds and really feel into that because [ __ ] me like that would be nice uh and if you're struggling and you don't then I'm fighting along with you murf a huge section of the podcast space is dependent on the culture wars and without couldn't exist not yours but we can all think of some obvious examples so they have a vested interest in perpetuating disputes about culture wars issues and will die without it discuss true so [ __ ] true uh the most important uh driver I think on YouTube at the moment is timeliness so if Donald Trump gets shot yesterday and you do a breakdown right now you'll do you'll do huge numbers it kind of doesn't really matter how good or bad it is if you've got enough launch velocity uh subscribers on your channel and a good like algo placement you'll do huge numbers now obviously if you talk total dog [ __ ] people are going to get pissed and you all of the exposure will be negative to Brand uh negative to the way that people see you but this is so true um that being said Trump has been back in office for a few days and as much as the mainstream media was so oh we can't have Hitler back in this is going to be the beginning of the end for America so on and so forth without a doubt they are loving it their numbers will never have been higher CNN complaining about it loose women whining about him Fox News Pro promoting him like doesn't matter which side of Defence you're on Trump shows the prevalence of trump and the amount that people are talking about him shows all that people care about is [ __ ] gossip all they care about is gossip and that vested interest in perpetuating disputes about culture wars issues is so true and but we have four more yours we you don't need to even perpetuate it because there is just this this nuclear reactor spitting out stories on what feels like a daily B hourly basis at the moment um that being said blowing it out of proportion it will be in the back of a lot of podcasters mind because they'll think huh I should talk about this it'll get plays and then if someone reacts to it I can react to their reaction so yep they have a vested interest and uh I try and avoid CH kakar cha kakar not bored with self-help themes will you focus more on culture and Sciences uh I did not put those two back to back but I mean this is just a perfect example of how if you have a sufficiently big audience even a very small audience it's very difficult to please everybody not bored with self-help themes question mark will you focus more on culture and Sciences uh I personally for me where I've been recently with the show I really have just been loving this emotion stuff feeling feelings um emotional connection relating to others building friendships overcoming nervousness uh performance but from a sort of a holistic lens I I'm really deep on that and that was you know where the show between productivity and and that that was really where the show started so you know the aland batons of the world Sam Harris when he's talking more about sort of self-help and and inner work um I'm in love with that so you know it's probably going to be a there's probably going to be another season of of that coming through um culture yeah sure uh it depends what kind of culture you mean you know like if I'm talking about like ancient Roman culture or something perhaps but I really do have limited desire to sort of add to the slop that's out there about whatever Trump did yesterday and I'm always going to get like dragged into it because it's interesting and engaging and it's easy but I want a body of work that I look back on in five years time and I go [ __ ] yeah I should listen to that again I cared about that then I care about that now how many people are going back for all that he's a very impressive individual how many people are going back and listening to what Ben Shapiro had to say a year and a half ago no one like it's it's you are permanently riding the crest of now just surfing on whatever the last 24 hours news story was and that's F I mean f more 8 million person YouTube channel and however big daily wies and all that stuff and you know but that's just not that's not what I want to do I don't I want an evergreen body of work sure there'll be some smatter rings of [ __ ] in there but uh focus on Sciences yeah uh open to that we got some chemists coming on got a couple of biologists got a couple of physicists so yeah uh I'm going to leave it there I think 3.25 million subscribers is [ __ ] insane uh the last year has been tough sorry for being a bit of a buzz kill uh hopefully that was insightful made you feel like you resonated a little bit gave you some reassurance if you're feeling bad gave you some gratitude if you're feeling well and have health I'm jealous of and uh we got huge episodes who have we got coming up soon alander bot if you've made it this far can actually just open up my skirt and tell you everyone who's coming out how about that let me open up the dock so who have we got here Monday 27th of January Piers Morgan Monday 3rd of February aland Boton Monday 10th of February Rory southernland Monday 17th of February Tom seura Monday 24th of February Ronda Patrick Monday 3rd of March Dr Julie Smith Monday 10th of March George Mack Monday 17th of March Freya India so those are the big ones we've got Malcolm Gladwell coming on got Luiz Perry coming back on got young peblo Vanessa van Edwards Tracy vianor sahil Bloom got 900 episode dropping soon as well Rick Hansen William Von hipple coming back on for the first time in like six years so look at see stick about to the end stay through me whining about all [ __ ] you get a little treat download the reading list chriswell x.com boox see you next time