16 Hours of Healing: The Somatic RESET You’ve Never Heard Of | Kyle Coursey

This is one of the most unique offerings that I've ever seen from anybody and it was utterly profound. So, I had an immense amount of body pain when I was younger and I kept trying to fix it in like kind of the more mainstream traditional ways. It wasn't until I had a firsthand [music] experience during a Ralphing 10 series where touch created an emotional experience. Your body is speaking 100% truth [music] and it's trying to show you with all its symptoms, all its experiences, what it actually needs. Part of the the symptoms from modernity is we're out of rhythm with natural [music] rhythms and going into nature like nature teaches you so much. These are the things that we've kind of lost touch [music] with and that I'm trying to push into a person on the back end subconsciously through touch. One of the [music] reasons I love your system so much is like it starts with the psychological. And so the reason I start with psychology [music] first is because it creates sudden setting. It brings up all the unconscious material that I want them to explore in a very structured way. I need to hear what a [music] person has been through in order to help them explore that somatic experience [music] more intelligently. And more often than not, I help them see how interrelated and interconnected [music] it is to the physical, to the psychological, to the emotional, to the relational, to the spiritual, to the energetic. And we're so shitty to our body. We're like, "You're too fat. You're too tired. You're not don't have enough. You're [music] like, we become a slave master. shut the [ __ ] up and do what I want. What about self love? I think it's one of the biggest things. Last time we spent an entire day, like 5 hours of talking, going through my deepest challenges, all of the broken code that's in my operating system as you patiently waited it through and untangled all of those knots before the main event, which was for me the main event, which was 8 and a half hours of body work straight. [laughter] This is one [clears throat] of the most unique offerings that I've ever seen from anybody, and it was utterly profound. So before we get into what it was, what it can do, what you've noticed in the patterns of different individuals, what people can take away from your body of work, tell us a little bit about how you found yourself in this unique path, offering something that I've never seen before. Um, I think like most people who do something similar to I do, uh, it starts with trying to fix yourself. And so I had an immense amount of body pain when I was younger and I kept trying to fix it in like kind of the more mainstream traditional ways. So I started learning everything about the physiology trying to address the physical pain and I would keep hitting dead ends. Um massage was one of the few things that actually helped but the duration and the durability of the lasting effect was very minimal. >> Mhm. And so I kept finding myself back in the same spots and trying to apply more and more physical techniques thinking that the missing variable was somewhere in there. Um it wasn't until I had a firsthand experience on the table uh during a ruling 10 series where the practitioner was really gifted in creating a space for me to explore the psychosmatic connection. >> Mhm. And in that I had my first experience where touch created an emotional experience. And the thing that happened next was the pouring out of the [gasps] emotions and the psychological stories that I did not have access to prior to that. >> And so that was like a kind of moment where it kind of clicked for me that the psychosomatic experience was a big piece of the puzzle. >> Mhm. And when I started to explore that, it led me deeper into what I would say are the many systems that kind of make up a human being. And what I kept finding is that every system, as effective as it was at engaging the system that they were working on, usually would only affect that specific system. And what I found with human beings is that if there was any amount of time spent with uh either a problem, a complexity, a pain, usually more systems than one had been affected by then. Would this analogy make sense that actually we try to focus on an individual circle of pain or an issue like that? But actually our body is a flower of life. We are life and it's all fractalled and all the all the different circles of a flower of life are touching and interconnected and penetrated and you take the flat model and you put it into a 3D model and everything's touching everything. >> Yeah. Yeah. And so that was kind of like what I arrived at is like they're all affecting each other. They're all communicating to each other. And if I want to try to help somebody as much as possible, I should at the very least consider that these systems are connected and if possible try to engage as many of those systems positively to hopefully create an environment where a person has a chance to coming back to homeostasis. And the upper belief there is that we're all self-healing organisms. That there's just something either out of balance or blocking or something distorting that process from happening. >> Um but with most people what I see is it tends to be multiple systems. >> Yeah. >> I mean we're a rewritable disc drive of software. Like our hardware is comes out of the box with factory settings and factory hardware. That's good. And then through the traumas and challenges and belief systems and aggregors and topos that we've worn like costumes, we get bad code in our operating system. And then we run that code and iterate it. And the more you iterate bad code, the more problems come downstream. >> Yeah. >> And because the human being is so complex, like that bad code usually taints other codes. Y >> and that's what I've seen like more often than not is like once that bad code gets installed the organism is always trying to maintain this this holism sense of homeostasis. But what it'll do is it'll pull its subsystems out of balance to try to maintain the whole and that's where it starts to taint those other codes. >> And so so let's get personal here for a second. A piece of bad code that we uncovered in our session was really this operating system belief that I could affect the external world in the in the on an optimal way if I was in a suboptimal condition mentally, emotionally, spiritually in a suboptimal condition. So through that belief, I would push externally before the internal hardware was resolved and I was actually operating at my highest peak efficiency. And there was a belief that like don't worry about that. Suck it up. You'll deal with it and you'll still operate at a high level. It can work maybe occasionally in a stressful situation, but over time I'm not producing the type of work that I'm capable of because I'm the producer of the work is not actually sound in a in a full way. >> Yeah. And if you want to just break it down, it becomes an energy equation, right? to think like whether you're using the analogy of a bank account, if you're spending more than's in the bank, do you think you're going to be able to do it for very long? Probably not. Or whether you want to use analogy of fuel. Like most of us take that system that you're using to try to accomplish a certain goal, right? And in that process, usually in the beginning, it's very good. It's like jet fuel. It gets us to that process and it helps us accomplish it. But the longer we burn dirty fuel, the more the returns start to diminish. Yep. >> And the system starts to break down. And what I think part of the process I'm trying to take people on is to see if they're still running on dirty fuel. and to see if there's a cleaner, more evolved way to run their system and to only use the dirty fuel in situations where they can't use the clean source anymore, right? Because it's still a beneficial tool. The way I look at these things is they're tools. It's our relationship to them, >> right? And so, how do we develop a healthy relationship to them and only use them in the circumstances that are actually necessary? >> Right. >> Yeah. >> Right. It's like running on nitrous all the time. Like how long is your car going to run if you're just running nitrous the whole time? Like you need some clean high octane fuel >> to actually sustain that. And every once in a while, you know, if you have the right relationship, [ __ ] hit that button and fast and the furious the [ __ ] out. >> There's appropriate responses, you know, like there's certain circumst there's so much nuance in life in humans. And I think that's that's the hard part. The brain has a hard time actually looking at the nuance of a situation when it's happening in real time. >> And that's what I like to help people see too is like where is there more room for you to play with the nuance of this actual experience and and where can we build in more freedom in your either belief system or the way you operate to then hopefully operate at your highest potential. >> Yeah. Even thinking about the brain, you know, I feel like we're running the risk when we talk about the brain as the locust of our intelligence and our operating system. It's >> kind of, you know, it's a computer. It processes some things and there it's it's important, but there's also the field intelligence and the field intelligence is informed by our microbiome, our, you know, bacteria, our fungus, our, you know, and also the the thoughts that exist in the ether. there's a whole field intelligence and when we reduce it to the brain yeah it's important but it's not even the whole picture >> yeah and I think that's the arc that most people experience for the course of their life whe they experience trauma or just hard situations in life right is they experience something that contradicts usually their internal navigation system or their truth or their essence and what happens is is they then rely on the brain to fix the problem and the intellectual intelligence takes the dominant seat and we give it way too much power. I think it's meant to be the thing that helps the original navigational system, whether it's the heart or the gut or the spirit or the soul, achieve its goals. And I think it's it's supposed to be developed to actually provide discernment and to help people navigate the challenges of reaching those goals. But usually we offload our full like trust to it and our full um kind of operating system to it. Mhm. >> And I I believe like that arc of maturity is actually coming back to what you just said like there's a deeper intelligence in us and usually we have to get out of our own way to access that and a lot of those dirty codes are like dysfunctional codes are preventing us from operating from there fully. >> Yeah. And some of these codes are just shoved down our [ __ ] throat, you know. And Kennedy's just come out and done this kind of big expose on anti-depressants. Yeah. And you know, I understand that in for certain people in certain circumstances, this may be a triage method that's effective. So if you're in that category or whatever category you're in, all blessings. However, if you really look at the data of what's happening, first of all, there's the first fallacy, which is that we have a chemical imbalance and we're going to solve all of our problems by adjusting one of the chemicals. >> But actually then you dive a layer deeper and you realize that okay, on a depression score, these anti-depressants, these SSRIs are moving you two points. So 50 is the cut off for actually being clinically depressed. It'll move you to 52 if you're at 50 two points and it's supposed to be five points to even be statistically significant, but they've kind of fudged it through the system. >> But then you also look and this these are double blind trials, right? And so they tell somebody you're either going to get a sugar pill or you're going to get this drug that has this list of side effects and effects and it's a strong enough medication that you [ __ ] know >> if you're on something. However, you were not actually able to distinguish and this is the active placebo hypothesis. I believe it was Dr. Kersh. I wrote a Substack about it that's out now if you want to check my Substack. But what they found is in the same trials if they ran trials on benzo which are anxiety or amphetamines which are a whole different class and there's a variety of different other drugs that also raised it two points. Yeah. So the researcher doctor was like, "Oh, what's happening here is people think they're taking a pill for their depression and it's helping their depression. This is the placebo effect and it hasn't been properly screened for." >> And then the list of side effects is [ __ ] horrible. I had a good friend who goes to the doctor because she was having issues focusing. She's caring for an ailing father who has like a lot of emotional outbursts. She's stressed. She's having trouble with executive function and and focus and a variety of different things. goes to this psychiatrist like kind of not like a high level but just somebody in New York who's a psychiatrist and she's like hey girl what you need you need anti-depressants I'm on these two you know buproprion and and this this other one and I go look at the the side effects of it the first side effect for both of these drugs suicidality and I'm like yo sis like please >> like there's other things that can help your focus and [laughter] like help your executive function like this is way too big your wrist, but people are just handing it out like candy. And it comes from this first fallacy that we're a broken machine. We can't fix oursel. There's a chemical imbalance. Somehow God made a mistake. >> Yeah. >> Nonsense. >> Nonsense. And if you need to use it for whatever reason, just do it with open eyes. >> Yeah. >> And know that this is a crutch that you're going to have to get rid of or you're going to get sicker and sicker and sicker. Just like if you have a limp for two years, okay, that may be a hurt knee, then it becomes a hurt hip, then it becomes a hurt back, then it becomes a [ __ ] up neck, and then your shoulder goes out, and then your wrist goes like, we're all a chain, a connected chain. You can't limp forever. You're going to get [ __ ] up. [laughter] >> Yeah. >> Yeah. At some point, you're going to have to build the muscle to actually support yourself. >> Exactly. >> Yeah. >> Exactly. So, I mean, that's one of the reasons I love your system so much is like it starts with the psychological. Okay, let's just talk. And you set like such a beautiful container of just absolute utter trust, you know, and I think >> I don't know, maybe some people are still uncomfortable with that, but for me it was just like, oh yeah, I'm [ __ ] home. >> I can talk about anything. This dude's not going to judge me. >> Yeah. >> He's just here to help. He's here to listen. And then, you know, that big smile and a laugh and like, all right, like we're home. >> Yeah. >> And that was like, it was really cool to feel that. And I think that's something that probably a lot of people even that on its own is like an invaluable session for people. And I was really impressed with how dialed you were on the counsel and advice and like the patience of your listening and then your ability to apply, you know, wisdom to actually clean up some of those broken codes. >> Thank you. >> Thank you. Yeah. So when you're doing that aspect of it, I want to talk about, >> you know, first of all the reason why you start there >> rather than start with the body and then go to talking. And so what's your what's your thinking about it and then talk about some of the common things that you see in the talking part and then we'll talk about how that's related to the the physical part. So there are a couple reasons I start with the talk and I've been refining this process over two decades, right? So there's been a lot of experimentation in the process. But what I continued to see over time is going back to that code analogy is more often than not a person's physical experience is being tainted by the psychology or the emotionality of the person. >> Mhm. And if you want to use something like either medicine work or psychedelic psychotherapy as a thing like the thing becomes set in setting that actually changes the experience. And so I'm trying to create spaces for people to explore the depth of their story very deeply. And in that I found that if we can talk for an unlimited amount of time and give the person enough space to actually go into everything that's ever happened to them, what happens is is they start to then see themselves where that code got either tainted or distorted. Mhm. >> And that becomes very valuable because more often than not the the actual psychology can pull the physical changes that we actually complete on the second half back out of balance afterwards. >> Mhm. >> And so the reason I start with psychology first is because it creates set and setting. It brings up all the unconscious material that I want them to explore in a very structured way. And we can talk about like how I would like to invite people going forward in in psychedelic therapy or medicine ceremonies to start integrating this is why on the front end aren't we kind of going into the the conscious and the unconscious material to create the set and setting of the journey we're about to take. And how much more efficient or how much further could a person get instead of leaving it up to like where these things go naturally? And most people who experience this will kind of tell me at the end is like I didn't even have to try or look for what I was working on. It came to me because of the talk part and it was all in order of all the things that have affected me. >> And so it's more deeply their truth than some kind of like subjective abstract experience. It's more of their actual deep content that's affecting them and they get easier access to it on the touch portion side. Mhm. >> And that's another thing I'm trying to do is bring everything to the surface because more often than not, it's for most people, it's very hard for them to connect a sematic experience to a psychological and emotional one. And so what I'm trying to do is create fertile grounds for them to explore that more easily. And in that talk process, like you said, like so much awareness comes in those moments. But also it's like giving me a deep understanding of the person before I start to work on them. And I think I told you that at the beginning is like I don't have some of these gifts that some of these people have where they have the psychic gifts or they have the ability to see the energetic fields and know the distortions, right? I I need to hear what a person has been through in order to help them explore that somatic experience more intelligently. >> Mhm. Um, and what it does in very subtle ways, but very important. What I try to tell people is like what I think is moving the needle for most of these people in these sessions are the unquantifiable things. Like what does it do to a person to be sat in front of, not judged and listened to for hours to to allow a person to share their life story and express it and honor it and [sighs] the vulnerability of sharing it with another person. Like I think as human beings were designed for these experiences and what they do it's hard to say cuz everybody experiences it a little bit differently but it's so important and so profound most times. >> Mhm. >> And so that's kind of why I set up the talk portion first is set and setting. We're kind of like creating the structure of what we're going to look at and what we're going to work on. But more importantly, the code that ends up tainting the human being's experience and leading to the symptoms that they're experiencing is usually in the psychological emotional content. >> Right. >> Yeah. >> I think one of the other things that's incredibly valuable is there was no time restriction. It was like we're going to talk until you're done and then we're going to do body work until you're done. I think that's one of the most important factors in what I do. >> Of course. I mean, if you're going to therapy, you got an hour and you're getting into something like, "Oh, my time is up." Yeah. And then you just get like a little tease of what you actually wanted and then you got to go back and then you're thinking about how much you pay per session and then you're trying to figure this whole thing out and you know, you pick up where you try to pick up where you left off, but you're feeling something different because you're halfway through the process. >> That's the point. Like once you take a certain person out of the experience they're having, so much more information comes in and they usually can't find their way back to that emotional experience or that psychological realization. Now I think it's a big ask of the modern frameworks to have a person come in drive to a place first of all come in sit there for an hour expected to be going to anything deeper than the stuff that's current complexity or top of mind situations and then have enough space to process and get to the bottom about what's actually going on. Because another kind of trick or trap of the mind is like it will easily write off any advice or suggestions with the knowing that the person doesn't understand the ultimate complexity that they're dealing with. >> Mhm. >> And that's a lot of resistance you see. And like people can be told over and over again the same thing. You can read a philosophical quote and it won't land for you, >> right? And so to give a person as much space and time as they need to unfold all the the things that add up to what they're feeling and why they're feeling to to help them explore what might be possible connections in that story even deeper than they're able to do on their own I think is a beautiful thing. But the timeless format, like who nowadays gets a timeless format to actually just sit with a person and go into everything is needed. And I think the time format in in and of itself caps the ability of the person to naturally unfold their experience. >> Yeah. I mean, the only example I have of this is you can be in an Iwasa ceremony that starts at 7 8:00 p.m. or whatever, but the maloca is open. >> Yeah. >> Till dawn, beyond dawn. Like you can be in there as long as you want. Now the shamans may not be singing ecoros anymore, >> but you get your you get your time. You don't have to leave. You're not kicked out. I mean, imagine that like 4 hours comes in. All right, everybody back out of here. >> [ __ ] nightmare. >> That's that's a perfect analogy. It's like imagine if you were mid I was journey and somebody said time's up [laughter] and that's that's what we're doing to people in the modern framework. Yeah. >> And I think it's an injustice and I don't blame the people doing it. It's it's a system that's built around >> Sure. And what I'm trying to do is provide an example where hopefully people in these industries or that are actually subject to these modern frameworks start to expand them because my whole thing is like I love what everybody's doing. They're not wrong. Let's just expand the container to give the human being the conditions. I think this is a thing that most people miss is like the conditions needed to do the things that they're trying to do. And that's what I'm trying to do with the timeless format. Like I think it's I think conditions are more important than techniques or approaches, >> right? >> And I try to provide as many of those human need conditions as possible to support the person's journey. >> We are in unprecedented times and the first thing that arises is a need for safety. How do I ensure my own safety and sovereignty so I can protect myself and my family and also contribute to a better world? And so one of the things that I think is really important is to recognize where you are holding your value. And right now a lot of us are holding our value in cash. What is cash? Cash is promises made in paper or plastic from governments that we know we can't trust. But what has real value? Precious metals. And this is why I created the mintmetark.com mtlmrk.com. Precious metal currency. I believe it's the future. It has real tangible value and we're combining it with the collectible value of incredible artists like Frank Frisetta and many more to come. So check that out at mtlmrk.com. And furthermore, you need to make sure that you're making the right best decisions. And so you need to have the maximum amount of energy, clarity, drive, and focus. And so I encourage you guys to check out correctlife.com with the K. Correct edge is something I take twice a day to make sure that I am operating at the highest capacity that Aubrey Marcus can operate at and it's actually the reason I founded that company in the first place. So check it out. There's some amazing formulations. I really think it's going to make a significant impact in your life and those decisions you'll make from that place will reap rewards that could last for generations to come. Lastly, I just want to say like I understand the stress that everybody's feeling in these uncertain times and really focusing on financial sovereignty is going to be a big part of my message moving forward. I've had the blessing of having taken a beautiful ride. Me and my family are safe and well and we're able to support those that we love. I want you to be that person as well. So, I'm going to be talking about that a lot more. So, make sure you like and subscribe to the channel and follow me on social media, Aubrey Marcus. Thanks for your attention. We're in this together. All for one, one for all. Let's go. So, what you've you know, how many people have you worked with? estimate. >> I'd say I'm probably at like 500 now somewhere in there. >> So 500 people >> timeless deep dives into the into the essence of their psychological frameworks. >> What are some of the common themes that you've seen coming up? Like if you're on a pattern identification, you know, >> yeah, >> script in your mind like, okay, these things are coming up more often than not. And you can divide it by gender if you like, if that makes sense. Or universally, >> you know, so like men, I'm seeing a lot of this, women, I'm seeing a lot of this, or just universal patterns. What are some of the patterns? Let's talk about them. [sighs] >> That one's so hard cuz everybody comes to me for a variety of symptoms, right? And so this goes back to kind of like my whole outlook on on how we work with people in the interconnected system. Like a lot of people come to me for physiological reasons. A lot of people come to me for psychological reasons. Some people come to me for emotional or relationship. >> But how how often is what they come to you for what the actual >> point that's my point. They have it siloed in their head that this issue is strictly a psychological issue. And more often than not, I help them see how interrelated and interconnected it is to the physical, to the psychological, to the emotional, to the relational, to the spiritual, to the energetic. And when those constructs start to break, they start to see what they're experiencing as symptomology of a greater thing. >> And if you want to know the most common thing I see is a lot of people are carrying a lot of pain and suffering. >> And the symptoms that come from that like you can go into depression, you can go into anxiety, you can go into health related issues, you can go into apathy, despair, um the list is every everything right like all the symptoms of modernity. And [clears throat] you just see over I just see over and over how many people are carrying these things and they're so deeply involved in them that they think that they're theirs at that point. >> Mhm. >> And they actually identify with them. >> Mhm. >> And so a lot of what I'm helping people do is come back to themselves and separate themselves from the symptomology of it. And so this pain and suffering, is this just the kind of enormous and tragic way in which people have been traumatized by other people? Or is this equally divided into just the pain and suffering of existence in this time that everybody's largely disconnected from each other, disconnected from the earth, disconnected from God? Like is it kind of a balance of both or what do you see more often than not? I see more often than not that they associate with one or the other, but it's it's the aggregate. It's all of them. Yeah. It's like how much we're living out of balance, how disconnected we are. >> The rhythm at which we're living is not a natural rhythm anymore. Um the amount of disconnection from human beings and getting our actual human needs met, they're all contributing. They're all and they may be higher for one person than another person. and their symptoms or the story will usually kind of help me discern which one is is actually activating more. But they're all affecting them. They're all affecting them. And that's why most people I was having a conversation with one of your people earlier about this. Most people have tried a thousand things by the time they see me >> and they're just so beat down and so like discouraged because nothing's actually like helping and nothing's moving the needle. And I think more often than not I when I talk to these people like they're they're doing these systems or interventions that are just kind of like siloed in one system orientation like let's affect the physical body in this way like let's only work on the fashion the fashita everything I just don't believe that's true for most humans >> right >> you know and so the symptomology is usually the case of a life lived out of balance and carrying a lot of pain and suffering. >> Mhm. >> You know, what about self- loveve? >> I think it's one of the biggest things. It's one of the things that [sighs and gasps] I'm really trying to help a person drill down into and where they might have holes in it, where they might have stories around how much they can give their yourself or their worthiness around it. But over and over like if you want to talk about the thing I see with people in some form or another in some form or another there's a lack of self- loveve somewhere >> and all these physical conditions all these psychological conditions are usually symptoms of that and if we drill down deep enough and that's what I try to help people do I can almost guarantee you I'll find a place where there's a lack of self-love. >> Mhm. Yeah. >> Does that show up in a reluctance or reticence to actually receive? Yeah. >> Do people get uncomfortable receiving this kind of I mean because it's really >> it's love in a in a kind of its own unique form that you're providing but the whole thing is just soaked in love. It is >> and that's what creates the safety. >> But I could imagine that you know there's a lot of people for me it's more what I feel is of course there's little things I could tweak with that but I'm I have I just don't prioritize self-care. >> Yeah. >> But the love was there. So it was like you were like you know if you have any issue receiving I'm like no please like whatever you [laughter] want to do. you want to get me a coffee, too? Like, I'm good, you know? But ultimately, I think for a lot of people, they're used to caring for other people. That's their value proposition. Like, I'm worthy of love if I'm caring for this other person or this person loves me. And I imagine you see that quite commonly. Quite commonly, and there's where I have room to try to give them more freedom in their story. >> You know, if a person is one of those people who is a constant caretaker but not nurturing themselves equally, I would say there's something to look at there. Yeah. >> Even if they have an immense amount of selflove, >> what is their action actually saying? >> Right. Right. [laughter] Right. Got that's a gotcha moment also for me. And that also came up like all right you say you love yourself. >> You are what you repeatedly do. >> Yeah. >> Are you being loving? >> Are you being loving yourself? >> Are you being loving yourself? And it's like oh [ __ ] >> Yeah. And that's where I try to bypass the intellectualism because actions speak louder than than words or or belief systems >> and what you're constantly doing. You're sending the messages so deeply subconscious that I don't care how much you can repeat to me that you you believe or you are a certain thing. If it was truly there, there would come out in your actions. And so that becomes a backdoor into how we can actually affect these things if we can't realize them or accept that there might be a hole. And that's one thing I try to help people do during the sessions is see where their actions can actually change their circumstances or their symptoms. And this becomes, I think, the journey of life over and over again is a lot of these things were created in real time with other people in response to a situation. And so if we think we're going to change them because we read a book, it's highly unlikely. If your actions aren't matching that, you're still sending the message deeply down into the system, >> right? And there might be a compensatory mechanism of self love in an intellectual way, but the actual action is showing very differently to me, >> right? And and we did, you know, I feel like I'm back in the [ __ ] session again, which is great. Thank you for that. >> And I think, you know, just reminding myself of some of the things that we talked about. One is, >> you know, I identified like I have this feeling that I've been so blessed and to earn that blessing and this was something you're like, wait, earn the blessing? Yeah. >> I was like to earn that blessing I have to give back cuz I actually I do receive the blessing, >> you know, and but I receive it so fully that it seems like this is too much. >> Yeah. >> Like I got to I got to and then get me right on >> right there. That's too much. So your words are telling me everything about your actual subconscious beliefs, >> right? It's like, wow, I can't believe how beautiful the mother is. I can't believe how how gorgeous the the father is. if you divide, you know, God into those two different archetypal genders, you know, and I can't believe my beloveds and my friends and all the my life and it's and then it's like immediately it's like a like a horse that's got spurred and like fire on my shoes like, "Okay, now earn it." >> Yep. >> You know, you're like, "But wait, [laughter] >> what if you what if that's okay?" And like I'm like, "Uh, yeah, okay, cool. But I'm just going to keep going. [laughter] I'm just going to keep charging and earning it because there's some fundamental belief like it's too much. >> Mhm. >> Like how do I receive this much blessing from the world? >> And I think that will be your journey over the course of your life. Like you want to talk about real work to me that's real work right there over and over again. Like watching how you respond in those situations and just pushing into them in a way that you wouldn't naturally respond. >> Yeah. And so like this is how I work with people in those spaces is I help give them action to overcome instead of an intellectual framework that's supposed to like substitute for it. >> Does that make sense? >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Totally. >> And it's to me it's it just it's obvious because if you look at how a human being develops, they develop in in situations in real life. >> These these whole belief systems get created from real life. And that's the fun part about the unlimited talk format is like we get to deeply probe of like how many times life reinforce that story in you. All right. And like how many situations so subtly to your young mind just kind of like conveyed this is reality. This is what it is. This is how you behave. And that's [clears throat] the part where I think people get a beautiful uh chance to create space and freedom. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I think another thing and I and I'm mentioning these personal aspects of myself because I have a deep belief that the personal is the universal and so what I'm sharing is not just to talk about myself. My hope is that those of you watching will identify some thread of this and say like okay I got a little bit of that maybe a lot of that maybe same amount whatever. [laughter] >> Another aspect that really came up was >> this fundamental lack of faith despite all of the evidence that I should have faith. >> Yeah. Like still I look out at the future and like just [ __ ] sharks and lightning bolts out there, bro. And then I look back at my life and it's been like, oh no, actually I've been cradled in the arms of God the whole time. [laughter] >> You know, like I'm batting a thousand cradled in the arms of God and I'm still like, "Yeah, but the future though. [laughter] >> Who knows about that shit?" >> That was one of the more like the more interesting parts when we were talking. I don't know if you remember, you're like, "But I have all the evidence in the world that suggests otherwise." >> It's crazy. It's crazy. How many times does God need to hug me before I realize, oh, you're going to continue winking and hugging me, >> you know, and I can just kind of look toward the future with faith. And I think the final kind of metaphor towards the end of our session, you know, I have this feeling like I got to do everything right, every step. And I used the analogy of a hockey player and I was like every every cut of the blade on the ice, every stick handle, everything is exactly necessary for me to score the goal against a goalie that's trying to like block everything I got. And it's like the bleeding edge. And really the the vision that kind of came through really clearly was, "No, bro. You're skating on open ice with an open net." >> Yeah. >> Like stick handle, you know, maybe you get smashed into the boards, but it's an open net. >> Yeah. like you got this and God's with you and like all the people are with you. And that was still something that I'm trying to like deeply integrate. But that image, okay, [sighs] it like helps me kind of relax as I look out towards this future which I project a reality that's not a reality that I have any evidence to support. >> Yeah. And I think like I think more than anything else, your ability to receive will start to break down those stories >> more than actual action. Trying to break down those stories or try to convince yourself that the open ice is there, right? And this is why I'm always trying to get people to do actions. I've worked with a lot of people over extended durations of time and they're always so shocked when they do something in real life that leads to the breakthrough that they were trying to get so vigorously through intellectualism. >> Mhm. >> Because it actually conveys a different reality to you so that you can actually let go of that one that you built that actually probably has validity in it. Like you told me your story as an entrepreneur like of course there's [ __ ] sharks out there. >> Mhm. You know what I mean? >> Yeah. >> And you had to be in that frame for those seasons of life. And that was like the thing that we're coming to at the end is like you're in a different stage of life. >> Yeah. >> And if you say you want the things that you want now to think that the same approach or the same version of Aubrey is going to get those things, I don't usually see it happen. >> That's madness. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's madness to think that you're going to get a different result with the same methods, you [laughter] know, >> or to think that because you're so intelligent, you can intellectualize your way to believing that there's no sharks, >> right? >> When in actuality, demonstration always always is more powerful. >> Yeah, totally. Yeah. The the another thing that really came up for me which I'm curious about is you you talked about the pain and the suffering which is probably released as grief like a lot of tears and and you were mentioning that you know all right you might feel grief and you might you know feel rage and I was like I static dance and I do breath work like I'm not going to feel any rage. I was I was so sure it was like I was like [laughter] this is like a common thing. I always forget to take bets on these things cuz I can make a lot of money just off of taking bets. You know what I mean? Oh, for sure. If you opened that poly market line, [laughter] you know, >> I'd have gone heavy on the don't side. >> Yeah. You know, >> and then sure enough, you know, and this is, you know, transitioning to the table. >> Unbelievable. First of all, when we talk about the table, like your method starts with the deep listening, like you're fluent in body like you speak body and you understand it and then you have your own particular dialect of how you communicate and that's this combination of Hawaiian lomi lomi, you know, with this kind of >> lovingly strangling iawasa [laughter] infused anaconda that's like weaving through. and you've done, you know, a bit of medicine work yourself, work with the Shapibo, so I'm not just conjecturing Iawaska. I think that's actually a part and I'd love for you to talk about that. >> But it was like, it was really remarkable because I hadn't experienced that style, that dialect, if you will, to use the same metaphor >> and it was like, whoa, this is [ __ ] cool. And so, you're from Hawaii, so let's just talk about that and then we'll get to my rage story and where that came about. But I want to just set the scene for people so that they understand also and also the roots of where you learn this because lomi lomi is a traditional Hawaiian form of body work. >> Yeah. So I was raised on Kawaii. I wasn't born there. That's a important distinction for most like local and Hawaiian people, right? Um but when people ask me like what some of my biggest teachers were, uh Hawaiian culture was one of them. like to be raised in such a beautiful culture gave me so many gifts and it's the backbone for a lot of my orientation with people um and how I interact with them and when I went on that journey of kind of exploring physical things I learned massage and all of the modalities I learned I found lomi to be the most beautiful and what it does so beautifully is it's working energy energetically, but it's simultaneously working in long flowing strokes. And what that does for the the physical and the perceptual side of a human being is it starts to connect them deeply back into their body and how interconnected these systems are. >> Mhm. And I went and studied a bunch of other modalities in that process to learn how these other ones were affecting different systems, whether they're meridian systems, whether they're the lymphatic systems, the vascular systems, the muscularkeeletal systems. Um, did I say fossil systems? Fossil systems as well. >> What are fossil systems? >> Fosa. So fial fosial. Yeah. Yeah. fashcia is the connective tissue between everything that they're starting to really understand has a lot more importance and significance than they once believed. And so again, going back to this concept of they all have their like what I call bits of gold, right? They're all doing something so beautifully. And so my journey has been trying to synthesize and combine them all into one overarching application. And what I found Lomi to be is a beautiful way to utilize the other tools in a flowing seamless format >> that helped move energy around but also conveyed beauty and love better than a lot of the other touch approaches. And then you start to go into the Hawaiian philosophy side of things and like what they believe and it's I think they got a lot of things right on how they experience people and how they interact with people and what they perpetuate as a culture. >> Um and so I I played with that for a long time trying to weave in as many things as possible. And so [gasps and sighs] I've always kind of like used that as the backbone of application of all the subtler things that I'm doing. And so when I really started to get into the medicine, the second thing that has been my biggest teacher was nature. And I think Lomi creates and replicates the rhythms of nature and the rhythms of a human being. And when I look at nature, I look at ultimate complexity distilled into simplicity and beauty. >> Yeah. >> And that's what I think Lomi does so beautifully is like there's so many things going on underneath the surface, the person doesn't need to understand them. >> If a person can feel beauty subjectively, it bypasses the intellectual need to like break it all down, right? And so it becomes this ultimate delivery system to like do so many things on the back end. Well, the subjective experience is still one of like deep understanding because when a person feels or experiences beauty, you don't need to like explain how you understand it or why you understand it, >> right? >> And that's like one of my upper level beliefs too is that the the human subjective experience is more important than the treatment of the technique. >> And so why I use Lomi is because it hits all those things so beautifully. And it's an opportunity to, you know, the variance in the different stroke patterns and also the stroke intensity of the different movements. Like at some one point it's like the soft warm water lapping at your lapping at your feet and you're like, "Ah, we're playing with the dolphins in the soft warm water and then other times it's the [ __ ] bearing sea." [laughter] You're like, "Oh my god." >> You know, but both both are necessary because if it's all bearing sea, then your nervous system is just going to be fully braced the whole time. And you're going to be like, "Does this guy [ __ ] hate me?" Yeah. Or does he love me? I can't tell the difference. >> And there's a fine line I have to walk with people. You can't push them too far. Like going back to this, like part of the the symptoms for modernity is we're out of rhythm with natural rhythms. And like one of those rhythms is like pushpull soft, you know, like >> and so it just it's such a beautiful application to help a person reconnect with these deeper knowings but also entrain their physiological systems back to the operating system before it got distorted. >> Is that making sense? >> Yeah. And so it just becomes this beautiful tool and going into nature like nature teaches you so much like it just if you watch it for long enough and I was lucky enough to grow up on an island steeped in natural rhythms and cycles right I didn't own a watch until I was like 30 plus like I had no concept of time there's nowhere to be nowhere to go you made your decisions based on the weather based on the season and like >> these are the things that we've kind of lost touch with and that I'm I'm trying to push into a person on the back in subconsciously through touch, >> right? >> And then the last big teacher of mine has been medicine. And a lot of these places that I'm taking people medicine has directly taught me like whether they're strokes that you was like bringing up like one of the things I learned in one of my journeys was the anaconda came and wrapped around me and was teaching me strokes and way to connect parts of the body through touch and the felt sense of the experience of these sensations when they're applied in certain ways. And so on the other side, it taught me all the subtle energetics of [sighs] how energy flows through a person, how to amplify it, how to like calm it down, how to connect it while a person's in a session so that they can start to experience a subtle layer of their actual natural operating system that they don't usually have access to. And then to be able to connect it to a physical sensation becomes like a download in of itself to the person experiencing it. Because once they have experienced it, they have a whole conceptual model to understand it and hopefully play with it going forward and to see how important these things are and how how much they're running under the surface and how much they're trying to tell us and and how much maybe it's out of alignment or out of balance or where we could help push it back in. like the subjective experience I think becomes the most important part of what I do and it's been what I've been trying to create for so long. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. Totally. All right. So, not to not to lose track of the initial thread that we're talking. So we go through this >> combination of intensity with like nourishment and you know we're we're oscillating between the two and it's >> you know some parts are hard you got to breathe through it but you're right there is like right there as a guide you know really I felt like I was in the care of a master and I was like deep trust >> and then you start moving towards my armpit >> and I could start to feel like you kind of exploring it and I just I remember actually vocalizing out loud is like there's something in me that really doesn't like what you're doing. [laughter] And I could feel this like, "No, don't you [ __ ] touch me there, you know, like right in my right in my left armpit." So, you you keep going and you're like, "All right, well, that means probably I need to focus even more on this spot. Thanks for letting me know." [laughter] And uh and I start going and I first I'm like kind of like squirming and getting anxious and kind of hot, but you're just there with this kind of steady applied pressure and and I'm kind of both letting you in and also like fighting it to a certain extent, but also trying to like really surrender. I trust you. So, and you're going deeper and deeper in the and it's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable not just on the physical level, but deeply on the psychological level. And and then you keep going and it's you know combination of the physical discomfort with the psychological discomfort and finally like the only way to release that energy was to just start roaring. Yeah. Just like >> and then you roared back and it was like okay it's on now. [laughter] You know it's just like we're both like just [ __ ] roaring as you're working through this and just let it out. Let it out. Let it out. And then with that, like a deep surrender and then the kind of intensity calms down. It's back to the still waters and the and the softer strokes. And I just remember like quietly sobbing after that came out. And I had a vision at that point of this really kind of sick black dragon. So, it was like a black dragon, but it was like one of those tigers you see at the MGM zoo or something like that that's been looking into a [ __ ] casino instead of being out in the wild and hunting in the in the forest and >> and they're just sick or like an orca with the fin that kind of bends because they've been in [ __ ] SeaWorld for too long, you know, and >> and there's no physical reason that should happen, but it's just like a deep sickness. And what I felt was there was this part of me, call it the warrior archetype or call it the beast inside me, whatever that thing is, that hadn't really expressed itself. And it had a bunch of people like an animal at the zoo, like poking at them and, you know, saying things and distracting them in an environment and it hadn't gotten to roar. And so it was not in a healthy place. And with that roar and the tears that came, you know, and this feeling like it hadn't had a moment to speak and I hadn't really connected with that aspect of myself and it was kind of locked in a cage somewhere and I'd thrown away the key. >> Yeah. And by tapping back into that, I felt like really like something deep released and like I got to know a deeper part of myself. And I actually wo that and started writing that story into the book that I'm going to be publishing in February 2027 because it was like >> that connection that we have with all of these animalistic parts. Yeah. >> You know, like yes, we can be >> soft and tender and loving and gentle and beautiful and also we're [ __ ] savages. Yeah, >> like that's how we're here >> and that's a part of us and like that >> access that part and then you know it's been much easier to access but that doesn't make me volatile or dangerous. It actually makes me more stable. >> It actually does the opposite. >> It does the opposite. >> That's what most people fear when when they keep those either dragons or or tigers in a cage like that. A lot of the deeper subconscious fear is they're going to let it out and it's going to do something negative, right? It's going to have some negative impact. But when you create safe spaces to go in and process these things appropriately, it usually diminishes the charge and reestablishes confidence in one's expression and ability to respond. And just like a fighter, like most fighters don't actually fight a lot because they have the confidence to engage in a situation if necessary, but they >> they're the calst, chillest [ __ ] Like the more dangerous they are, >> the more chill they are. >> Yeah. And so this is doing that in a different way is creating a space for expression and honoring and acknowledgement without negative uh outcomes. And in that process you gain more of a sense of confidence and certainty that you'll be able to hold that and healthfully just keep it there and use it if necessary in the most appropriate ways >> and be grateful that it's there. Like I'm glad you're there, dragon. like I may need you at some point and when I do like full on you know draaris like breathe your fire but you know I but it helped me like really establish like okay you're there I love you we're both grateful for each other I mean I'm the dragon master and also like as a master I want to be a good master and make sure that I'm caring for you just as you'll care for me if I need you >> and it just like restored the balance to that relationship in a fundamental way. I love that >> and it was it was incredible. And also the just the tears of feeling the disconnection, you know, like I think a lot of times tears come when there's been a delusion or distortion and it's like a etch a sketch where the water actually wipes away the old memories and creates like a new pattern. And so the grief helped that came on the other side was just me rec-alibrating to a to a truth which was like bringing me back to greater wholeness. >> Oh, I love that. >> And fullness. It was a big deal. >> I love that. That's that's the the space that I'm hoping to create for somebody when I do these things, you know, is like the reason I'm applying all these quote unquote techniques or like things is is that experience right there is safety to explore the things that are just right underneath the surface but don't have the conditions needed to safely explore them. And the effect on the the outcome like like what you just said like people don't realize something so small like that can lead to can lead to a greater feeling of wholeness that they didn't even realize was affecting them in so many ways. >> Yeah. >> And that's the subtlety of like the the work that I'm doing with people that they usually can't articulate. But it's that felt sense in the end. It's a subjective experience like it just it's the thing that moves the needle in my opinion. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. 100%. Yeah. I mean, there's there's so many different things that also come up and also like little hot spots that you feel. I would ask you like, okay, what does this mean? You know, when I'm feeling this on my left hip >> and you had something. So if you were going to kind of in speaking in generality and it's obviously different for everybody, everybody's unique, but if you were going to kind of map >> the physiological system and say like all right, if something's happening like let's say tense shoulders or tense neck, you know, like what what is those usually associated with? If you want to kind of move through the body and give people a road map that you've gained from your experience. >> Yeah. I mean the shoulders usually more often than not kind of represents holding an external weight or the weight of the world, you know, and so that's a very common experience and that's why I tend to go in the shoulder so heavily is like what are we holding or what do we feel like we're holding and a lot of people have tension in their shoulders and so that's a very common one and then you start to get to the the more uncommon places like the hands and the forearms >> and a lot of what comes There is there can be childhood wounding like when we're like we have this experience of not being held or doing things alone like as kids like to hold a child's hand >> is is such a deep experience of safety and [clears throat] being held and supported. But it can also like if there's a lot of pain in there, it can also represent all the things we're holding on to or all the balls we're trying to juggle in life, right? And then it gives a person the chance to go in and to to experience if there's any truth or resemblance in those kind of subjective experiences that correlate with a physiological experience. Um, the reason why going into your armpit and kind of like your rib cage and what I would call the subscap um, a lot of what happens there is kind of like this protection mechanism. And you think about it structurally, it kind of starts to roll forward to protect the heart. >> And so what I see a lot there is like people who have had something happen to them where they've had to like kind of hunker down and put on a layer of protection. And usually that's a lot of like where the anger comes from because it's usually an injustice most times. >> Um the chest in and of itself becomes very interesting. It also has to do with the heart but it's also like the front-facing kind of forward pushing kind of attribute especially in men, right? And so then it becomes this experience of like either weight on the chest or responsibility or things like that. >> Um hips kind of more often than not have to do with the ability to move through life uh with joy and ease. M >> and so like a lot of people who have tight hips or like have that thing is like how easefully and gracefully and joyfully are you moving through life and where are you kind of subconsciously creating those restrictions and movement. Um the legs kind of end up representing how we hold ourselves up in some form or another. Uh the glutes can have to do with power power dynamics. back usually has to do with the past, you know, in most forms and there's different sections. >> Interesting. >> Yeah. And that's why I start on the back if you noticed is like >> let's get the past out of the way, you know, and let's help you process the past and leave it there. Um, and then the feet and the calves become like just our first point of contact with the ground and like how we're like standing in life and the experience of the weight of life and what it feels like to us. Um, and then you start to look at the fossil system and what the feet like kind of do. They're the first point of contact for the ground. So the the whole body starts responding and adapting around that first movement. M >> um but those are like the commonalities I see more often than not and like >> and do you do you identify the diaphragm with like fear? >> Mhm. >> And like when you restriction too >> it's like some kind of clenching bracing. >> Yeah. >> And the diaphragm is is so important for so many reasons. Um, but it can kind of like act as a pump for a lot of things and it can be correlated with shoulder issues. But like most of the diaphragm has to do with breath, right? and like the suppression of breath and that's kind of like why your ribs too when I was going into your ribs >> is like this depression aspect where we're not fully breathing in because of some kind of tension or possible like conflict or response system >> and like what happens to the rib cage is it it stops expanding as fully and the same thing happens to the diaphragm. >> Mhm. And so like a lot of that stuff will come in there as like this kind of like protection mechanism or need to protect yourself and what can come out of that is different. Like some people have a lot of sadness, some people have a lot of anger and the anger is usually from a form of injustice. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's a that's a hard one to metabolize as a human being, you know. So and when you when you mention that it's like Yeah. I mean I experienced that >> early as a kid. You know, my dad would get >> burning hot, full of rage over something that was so trivial. >> Yeah. >> You know, like I remember one story, you know, uh and I had a largely great relationship with my father, but every once in a while he'd pick up on some little thing that was nonsensical and blow it way out of proportion, which is an injustice. Like >> I was four years old. He's playing a ping-pong game. He mis hits the ball. The ping-pong ball flies up in the air, hits the corner of the room as he was trying to smash and he mish hit it and I go, "Home run." And I just walk around and go out there and like the next day he like is just yelling at me like how dare you embarrass me in front of my friends. I'm like yo I got I wasn't trying to do that. >> Yeah. >> You know I just saw a ball fly up into the you know at that same angle that a home run hitter hits a home run. Like what the [ __ ] >> Yeah. And so like you pattern these different and of course everybody has their stories of injustice but that's one of the ones that I that just feels like man that's like it's difficult >> to deal with that. So what do you how do you work through even from a psychological because obviously you talked about the places in the body that you can release it but how do you reframe injustice so people can move forward? A reframe doesn't usually end up being the strategy. >> Uh the strategy I've found that works best with human beings is honoring the process. Like they're all forms of grief in some form or another. And at some point that grief process got cut short, circumstantially, situationally, whatever it is, a story of how we need to respond or what we need to do. [gasps and sighs] Um, and what I find is more beneficial to a person is to actually go in there and honor the story completely and walk them through digging deep into all the layers of meaning and all the feelings around it. And it's why I combine tuck and um talk and touch >> is it doesn't just live in the psyche the story. The story by that point is living in the body as well. And so it's this process of taking a a person through the experience and hopefully a safe environment where they can start to express it and honor it to the depth at which it needs to. I have this belief that if it's still there, there's some part of it that's either asking to be acknowledged or felt. And so I'm trying to give the person enough space to do that, to fully inhabit their pain. Because the only time I've actually seen pain leave is when it's done, >> not through like some force, >> right? >> You know, there's a there's a method that I'm, you know, that I kind of am guided by and it's when looking at these things and it's similar to what you're saying, but framing does come in in the method that I'm that I'm talking about. I call it the five Fs. So, first is to find it. >> So, either through your own sacred autobiography or however you want to find it, you find it. You could also find it in the body, >> but you got to find it first. And then the next step is you got to feel it. >> Yeah. >> And that's absolutely right. Like you got to feel it all the way through. And I think one of the most profound books I've ever read is Martin Practiles, The Smell of Rain on Dust. >> Are you kidding me? >> I try to get everybody I can ever [clears throat] like that book hits >> like there's certain people that speak truth and you can just hear it. Yeah. >> In that book that book is profound. And what he's talking about, of course, is that we've lost the sacred heart of grief. >> Yeah. >> And we cut it short and we don't go it all the way through. So we carry these half grieved, you know, griefs. It's like we have grief blue balls everywhere we're going and we're not like we're just stuck in this half grieved process because we haven't sacredly >> honored >> and and really sanctified the love that we had and the pain that we feel and everything like and he talks about how grief is an actual honoring of the love that you had. >> That's why I keep using the word honoring. >> Yeah. >> And so the framing comes after one is truly >> that's how I see the process. >> Yeah. And and for me that framing is okay well in that process of you know receiving that first feeling it for finding it feeling it and then I frame it like okay wow so because I wasn't exactly clear about how I'd communicated something that could be taken out of context I became a very good communicator >> it's like okay I can be grateful for that >> and I think for me that frame process coming third actually helps me with the next step which is forgive. Yeah. >> Forgive. >> Yeah. >> And then the final one, the five the final five F is flush it like let it go through. >> Yeah. >> And like and then you're then you reset which is like what you're actually talking about. >> But you can't skip a step. >> You can't. And and feel it may take weeks, months. And that's the whole thing with grief. There's no timeline on it. There's no there's no expediting it. >> Right. And that's [clears throat] why I'm trying to take a person so deeply into the felt experience so they they can honor it properly because the only way I've seen to move through these is not by actual like effectiveness but honoring. And so let's create as much space around that as needed. Let's again going back to conditions. Let's provide you the conditions for honoring grief and experiencing grief in its totality. And sometimes a person can get fully through that in a session and then the framing comes on the other side. And I see the the mistake a lot of people make is they want to jump to framing first >> or jump to forgiveness before they felt the anger, the rage. And that's bypassing in my opinion, right? Or a form of intellectualism. Call it whatever you want. >> Um but that's that's the thing is like when a person has felt it so much, the intellectual narrative has space to change. The framing comes organically. It's not something you're trying to convince yourself. >> Yeah. >> And I think those are the actual important layers to get to that process where you can actually do that in a way that's true. >> True. And I think your mind knows when it's true or when it's not. >> Yeah. >> And the thing I see more often than not is when people try to convince themsel to intellectually change their mind or their opinion or their perspective, the mind knows it's lying to itself. >> You know what I mean? It has this little bit of self-doubt. It's like, "Yeah, right." you know, like good luck with that. >> You say that you say that, you know, but like >> and what happens is is is actually pretty detrimental is a person then starts to convince himself that they're unrepable or broken or damaged or that nothing will fix it. And that's where like a lot of people find me is like they've tried so much things or like they've been they've been doing the other things that the people say are going to work and it's like not working for them and they're kind of like lost hope or they they're just stuck in this I'm inherently broken or damaged at this point. >> Mhm. And so it's like to honor the conditions the conditions of a human being. Like we we think we've evolved past what we actually are. And the the intelligence is so quickly adaptable, but the hardware, the biology, the systems that we run on, they're still what they are. And they still have the needs that they need. And I think to honor them is is so much more of a beautiful process than trying to steamroll over them >> what we think we should be or need to do in the way we need to do it. >> Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I want to keep on the thread of grief for a little while because if I go and do an analysis of my own life >> Yeah. >> there's been certain things that I've grieved well and then certain certain things that have been difficult. And so one of the difficult things was my father was kind of isolated. He had mythologically a real huge battle going on in his mind, you know, um, pathologically, you know, you could call it paranoid, schizophrenic, you could call it something else, but he basically isolated himself from the family, but he was still alive. So, there was like a little bit of grief that I had, but there was the hope, well, maybe he'll snap out of it. Maybe one of these emails or one of these letters or one of these calls, he'll answer it and like he'll be back. And so it kind of prevented me from grieving because like there was this kind of indefinite wa I don't and and so I got kind of stuck in this limbo. And then when he finally passed >> I was able to really grieve and took 10 days and just grieved and grieved. We sat Shiva for 10 days and told stories and played the games he loved and the songs he loved and grieved and did ceremony and did all the things and I feel so resolved in that finally. And then in another instance, I'm actually to be frank like still in it, you know, and I've had a couple, you know, dear friendships that have, you know, parted ways in the kind of >> strange and inexplicable way like without much communication and with the complete lines of communication severed. And one of those cases, I was able to actually grieve it. I could kind of feel the finality of it. And I just like went to the beach and I cried and I grieved and I played the songs and I followed the kind of practal diagnosis of how you do it and it was great and I feel really resolved with that. >> Yeah. >> And then the other one >> I'm like >> but maybe like maybe if I send this message >> Yeah. >> it'll start the conversation and so like the pain I haven't really allowed myself to feel it cuz I'm like in disbelief that it exists. Y >> and you know reflecting. So what would be your advice for me if something's in this kind of >> subtly indefinite limbo and I think I know I think I know the answer which is just [ __ ] grieve it anyways because it still doesn't close the door cuz I remember in another case like I was in love with Milana for a few years before we actually got to be together and we actually got together at the point that I had fully grieved her. I was like, "Okay, goodbye." You know, like I'm I'm letting go of all of these ideas of what we could be and how this could be. And I just fully let go. And then all of a sudden, she was like, "Hey, I think I like you." I was like, "Fucking a." [laughter] But it was it was almost like that triggered the possibility. And of course, you know, it it all worked out. But so anyways, I want your reflection on that even though I'm kind of talking myself into it. Like what would you say for somebody that's in this kind of weird process? Maybe they split up with someone, but they don't know if they're going to get back together. Or it's a friend like me, or it's a family member like I had that's kind of halfway. They're halfway in limbo. Cuz it's actually for me, it's easier when something's final. It's like I know the process of rain on dust. >> Yeah. It's easier for most when the process >> is final. >> It's a very human experience to be constantly rebroad into the process if it's still active and alive. >> Yeah. >> And so my advice, I don't give advice first. I would want to know all the factors that are subconsciously keeping you invested. And going back to the grieving process is to explore and honor all of the things that you're actually feeling and your mind is still telling you and why the hope still exists. >> Mhm. >> Because until we come to terms with that, the the intellect so smart that it's going to know you're lying to yourself if you start trying to grieve it when those haven't been acknowledged and honored. >> Does this make sense? >> It does. And so like the the only way forward I tell people a lot of times is backwards. Like we want to just push from this point. But like most times we have to go backwards and acknowledge and honor all the things that contributed to this point in order to naturally organically move into the next step which is grieving. And so of force grieving from here you might make some progress, right? but to acknowledge it and to fully deal with all of your hopes still around the situation and and why they're important to you and what you could do still or what you might could have done in that situation, >> right? >> I think would be a wiser path forward. And once you're there, what you'll come to is usually the natural readiness to start grieving. >> And that orientation is fully different trying to push yourself into one versus naturally there, >> right? And so I would argue that you probably have some more digging to do on why the charge the energetic charge is still there. >> And going back to what you just said about the thing with Bana is like what we don't realize is the energetic charges of these things the subtle energetics can repel or attract them. >> And so like in that case you had done the work of like letting go of it. And so the natural energy that created from there probably changed the orientation in and of itself. >> Right. And that's one thing I try to help people understand during these sessions and help them experience firsthand is like I try to push people towards a state of empowerment and sovereignty after. And to truly do that, you have to acknowledge and accept that you're contributing to the circumstances more than you ever can realize. And so your energetics or your orientation or your actions or your belief systems are actively skewing the outcomes of these things. >> Yeah. I mean just I mean the idea like imagine somebody who doesn't want to come in a certain direction towards you >> and you go grab their shirt and you pull them. >> What are they going to do? How many people are going to just go like oh thanks actually I wanted to go that way and I needed this little push. like no, [laughter] >> you know, you become the magnet of like attractiveness and then at certain point they go like, hey, that energy feels good. >> Let me go that way myself. And I think we >> fall in those, you know, pathways so often where we try to manipulate people by pulling them >> into into where we want them to be. But people are sovereign. >> Yeah. >> You know, they're going to go where they want to go. And the key is to just create a environment energetically >> with resonance >> with resonance that attractive >> foundation is already tainted >> right >> and that's the thing like if you if you pull a person and you manage to get them how much are you going to be altering yourself in order to keep that resonance >> eventually the ability to do that will run out you know >> and just the cockiness that we think that we can hide what is really there you know like it's so arrogant as [laughter] if all of the you know extra sensory perceptions that exist are just going to go away in this one instance. >> I mean, the hubris to assume that >> that they're not going to know. Well, they may not consciously know because they may not have a story of the words that you said or the but they'll know. >> They have a felt sense of it usually. >> Of course. Of course. >> Especially women. >> Of [laughter] course. Of course. >> Yeah, for sure. >> Yeah. It's all that's all super helpful, man. I mean what else what else is like as you you know move from this in the individual and then look out at like the collective right so like you're doing individual work and of course the collective is made up of individual constituent parts >> but then looking out at like if you were going to do a session >> for the world I'm trying to figure that out honestly and one of the overarching themes of of what I'm hoping to accomplish is kind of like this concept of the ripple effect, right? If I fill a person's cup up with so much love and so much care, how many more other people that are then affected in a positive way by that? And so, for the last 20 years, it's been one-on-one. And I'm coming to the point where a lot of people I'm running into are saying like, Kyle, you have to start teaching. You have to start sharing this. You have to start just making it more accessible for more people. And like one person was like we need two million of views to actually like you know to start to affect people in a positive way. [gasps] So right now I'm working on a program to try to create the the conditions necessary to do uh kind of like do it yourself reset >> and so that people will have the tools necessary and can create the environment to start exploring these things. And the move after that is to start teaching as well. And I'm already opening myself up to that. So if anybody wants to learn any of these things, um you don't have to implement them the way I do. I I don't care how you utilize them. I'm trying to help people. I'm trying to advance the field of how we help people. And what I'm hoping to do by sharing all this is like going back to these singular approaches is hopefully give somebody inspiration or insight that maybe if we start affecting multiple systems simultaneously, we might be able to help people more. >> Yeah. >> And so whether you're a psychologist, whether you're a body worker, whether you're a physiootherapy person, whether you're doing energetic work or spiritual work, like I love all of those. I use all of those. They're all important. Um, if you have any inclination to want to start layering in other things that might help your work even more, I would love to talk with you. I'd love to help. I'd love to teach. Um, and that's where I'm hoping to to kind of expand like my one of my upper level goals is to expand the current models of therapy >> and to see how much more inclusive they can be. I don't really understand why they're still siloed off when we have a deeper understanding of the whole human is connected. Like it's not a contested idea anymore. >> Yeah. >> And so then why are we still stuck in an old system? Just like the momentum of it, I guess. >> And but like what I'm hoping is to inspire practitioners to look outside their system and start to include like just these simple things like I'm not using really technical tools. My application of them might seem advanced, but if you look at the human biology and the human needs, like we're very very simplistic. We need a couple things, right? Like we need touch, we need connection, we need safety, we need presence. [sighs and gasps] And you can start to affect those things in pretty easy ways. Whether it's breath work, whether it's massage, whether it's talk without the intention to fix or to judge. Um they're very very basic technologies and hopefully I can convince enough people to start exploring the combination of these technologies and what they can do and how they can help people in more meaningful ways. >> Yeah. I mean, as we look out at an uncertain future of how much work there's going to be available when the robots come and AI is everywhere doing everything, >> the one thing that there's always going to be a need for is the essential human quality >> of this touch and this love >> that, you know, people may pretend that their AI loves them. It doesn't. Sorry everybody, [laughter] it doesn't [ __ ] love you. It doesn't give a [ __ ] You know, like it's I don't care what you believe. It might try and tell you that [laughter] it does, but it doesn't. Yeah. >> And this is an innately human quality. And so, you know, imagining that world where there was there was millions of people who could in their own unique way offer, you know, some version of what you offer to people. That work's never going away. Like, no [ __ ] Tesla robot is ever going to get into my armpit. Otherwise, it's straight to Terminator 2. [laughter] I'm [ __ ] melting that [ __ ] immediately if he's in there, you know? Right. And that's what I see going forward is like technology is going to continue to exponentiate itself, but the human needs aren't going to change, you know, and like going forward is like I think we most likely will have more time to be with the human being. And so in that situation, if there's less things to do, like the human needs are still there. They don't just go away. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And so how do we make sure that all the humans are actually getting their needs met so that they can live their best life? Like what is the cost of living a life with distortion? Like what does that cost somebody? That's like one of the things that makes me the saddest is like I I watch people walk through life with all this pain and all this suffering that that they don't have to have. >> Yeah. >> And usually most times it's not even theirs. something that was put onto them by some situation or some person or some circumstance and they're carrying it and holding it as if they're theirs. And that's one of my hopes is to set as many people free from that as possible because I mean how sad to like have to walk through life. What could you achieve? What could you do? like to sit on your deathbed and just look back and just regret that you didn't you didn't do the things that you wanted to because of the things that were keeping you blocked. >> Mhm. >> I think that's one of the biggest tragedies. >> Yeah. >> For sure. For sure. And you mentioned judgment and that was another, you know, kind of real revelation that came through both your session and a subsequent ceremony that I was doing. And I just realized, you know, so for me, there's a difference between judgment and discretion. >> Discretion is the kind of like, okay, maybe that's not for me. Maybe this isn't helpful. This is leading towards disorder rather than order. I'm going to ch choose a different thing. And I think healthy discretion is important. Even fierce discretion is important. Yeah. Like even a hell no >> has its time and place. And even a physical application of that hell no has its time and place can still be woven into compassion. Actually, Father Sean Olair talks about four levels of compassion. And one of those levels is actual standing up and physically, you know, physically having enough compassion to say like, "No, this will not stand. This does not belong here in my home, in on this in this country, in this earth, whatever it might be." And it's still but still from a compassionate place. But none of it requires judgment. >> I agree. >> None of it requires judgment because judgment is saying that person who is doing that thing is not worthy of love. I agree. And so the utter hubris of that as well because if we understand as many of us who've done medicine and many other people who are even from a religious background or however they might have arrived to it understand that we are fundamentally a wash in a substrate in a sea of love. >> Yeah, >> we are in a sea of love. And the boss of this sea of love is God. Mhm. >> God has declared universal love for everybody. Like the sun that shines on saints and sinners. It shines on flowers and turds. It shines on everything. >> Yeah. >> Right. Like this is the world that we're in. And the boss of this world has declared universal unconditional love for everybody. And we say, "Ah, >> God, >> you [ __ ] it up." >> Yeah. >> This person here does not deserve love. >> What? >> What? Really? Mhm. >> You think that you know better than God? >> No, you don't. >> Mhm. >> You don't. You know, and it's crazy. And we do it to ourselves. We do it to everybody else. And every time we do it to another one of this interconnected kingdom of God's universe, we're closing off that chamber in our own heart that can love. Like we cannot judge another without judging some aspect of our greater self. >> Yeah. >> And so it just closes our heart more and more. Every little judgment closes us more and more. And like Paul Celich says, great channel. >> That which you put in a cave, you go with it. Yeah. Like what you put in a cave draws you to the cave. Like so anytime you're in judgment of somebody else, you're >> closing down your own heart. So really a big >> lesson for me and and I've been with this lesson for a while, but it's just getting clearer and clearer. And the last piece was the hubris piece was just like fierce discretion, beautiful, no judgment. There's no [ __ ] need. >> Yeah. >> It's a It's an absolute absurd mechanism when you actually understand that you're playing on God's [ __ ] game board. Yeah. >> And he's declared the rules of the game being unconditional love. >> Yeah. >> The the way I like to help people get to that is is interesting. Most times what I see is they've denied themsel that like the self love first. And I have this belief and opinion that like most human beings can't give another what they haven't actually received first. And so a lot of what I'm trying to do is to create a situation where a person receives um especially a situation with lack of judgment um in all of their flawedness and all of their complexity and all of their imperfection. and then to receive love after that through touch, through care, through nurturing for an extended duration of time. [gasps] And what I see is that if you can give a person something they never had, this is what I learned from Hawaiian culture. It's a big part of Hawaiian culture, aloha, right? Um once they've truly received that in a meaningful way, they're more inclined, they're more likely to perpetuate that behavior. And it's it's a lot of what I'm like subtly trying to do with these sessions is like going back to the pouring love into somebody. How many walls of judgment or separation will that break down? Um I don't know, but I hope that it'll have some impact on them, you know, and I hope that it'll create more of what you're talking about. More discernment, more discretion, less judgment, less separation. >> [sighs and gasps] >> Um but yeah, I've I've seen that over and over again and it's like the the barrier I usually see is a lot of these people can't give it to themselves. >> Yeah. >> You know, one of the things that Don Miguel Ruiz teaches in Mastery of Love is also that you'll only put up with abuse from another person to the degree that you abuse yourself. Mhm. >> You know, so like if somebody's being shitty to you and it's exceeds the shittiness that you give to yourself, you be like, "Fuck you." >> Yeah. >> Like I'm [ __ ] out of here. >> But if it resonates with the with how shitty you are to yourself, you're like, "Oh, I deserve it." Yeah. >> At some deeper subconscious level. So it's why like a big priority into actual real self-love and self-honoring then allows you to orient your your world in a way where you just do not accept anybody [clears throat] who's not up to that standard which you give yourself. >> I agree. I agree. And I think that leads to more beauty indefinitely >> and more connection you know like [sighs and gasps] even if the person isn't right or isn't resonant like you still will hold them in regard that still has respect >> you know and that's I think that's a beautiful position to be in to to respect all people but to keep the discretion to what is actually resonant to you >> and what you actually desire. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's that's big. And I think I'm I'm curious like when people, you know, does this how does this affect relationships when you're in it? You know, cuz I can imagine like if you're hypothetically, which I'm sure has happened at certain different points, you're working on a woman whose husband isn't really very touchy and isn't really open and doesn't really listen to her, and then you just give her 12 hours of div like undivided attention, love, and [laughter] are they like, "What the fuck?" You know, like what happens in that in that dynamic? Because it's I think it's important because then they can know what they want and what they need and then they can actually work with their partner to it. But does it is it something that's like you've seen kind of shock people a little bit? >> Shock who? The husband or the wife in that situation? >> Both I would say. >> Yeah. Uh so it's interesting cuz my work kind of has similar effects as medicine and it's intended to. >> Mhm. >> Right. It brings up the thing that needs to be looked at. So to know which way it'll go is hard to say, but sometimes the circumstances brings to the surface the realization for the woman in that case of what her actual needs are and how much she's been suppressing. >> Right. >> And that might be the stimulus for her to start engaging with her husband and trying to like get those needs met. >> Yeah. >> Right. Um more often than not, that's the case I see. And so it creates a conversation that already needed to happen, right? >> That was already passed through. And so there's this concept I try to help people understand in the sessions of getting to the forks in the road faster. And it's just this. It's like if if you're suppressing your needs or your wants or your actual like belief systems to maintain the relationship, you're just kicking the can a lot further down the road. And most likely mo both of you are experiencing a level of dissatisfaction that has come to like this point of like creating a problem at the very least, >> right? >> And come to the forks in the road faster. >> Yeah. >> That's a that's wise. Like let's let's move on. >> Let's let's like figure this out, see if it's workable, and let's speak to our truth. >> And the truth will lead to the outcome. What we're most likely trying to do if we're avoiding the forks in the road is we're trying to control the outcome by suppressing our actual needs or desires because we're scared that the outcome will actually lead to the thing that we don't want and the mind can't hold the nuance of like the possibilities of what could happen by sharing that. Mhm. >> It's so steeped in survival and protection and maintaining that it >> so is that the root driver behind all avoidant tendencies really is like just this fear of if you engage with it you're afraid of the outcome. >> I mean all I wouldn't say all but a high percentage of it >> right >> you know and it's so subtle and it's so tricky that it will convince you. It will speak these stories into your mind of why you shouldn't do it and what you should be considering in in regards to the possibility of doing it or not doing it. And it's so sneaky. Like the mind is so sneaky. I was talking to your people before this is like it's so good at either blocking you from seeing what's actually there or minimizing the actual thing that is the lynch pin on what you actually want to change. M >> and that is what I see more often than not is they minimize the actual action they need to take to get the results that they want. And so getting to the fork in the road faster is this process of speaking to needs and desires sooner so that the person can either meet them or you can be at a more honest place of if they're not able to be met so that then you can create a new form of homeostasis if you decide to keep going. >> Right. Yeah. I think the these avoidant patterns are this really, you know, kind of painful form of manipulation really, >> you know, when you stop the conversation and cut off all that and >> completely close it down. And I understand there may be certain instances where just communication is so toxic that you have to communicate like, hey, this is so toxic that I'm that we need to take a break from this and that break may be indefinite, but this is just not healthy. And I think there's a big difference for that to just not talking about it. >> Yeah. >> Or just avoiding the conversation entirely. >> Yeah. >> And you know that's that's a tough one to to deal with. And it's like the opposite of the way that I want to orient like if there's something up like I want to talk about it now. >> Yeah. >> You know, and it's like what are we doing? >> You know, are we going to just go in this strange gray fog indefinitely and play these little psychological [ __ ] the same way? >> Like come on. It's like that's actually more uncomfortable for me. So uncomfortable >> than the discomfort created by like either tension or conflict, you know. It's like uh >> I mean it's it's it's really brutal, you know, and actually, you know, um >> when Vi and I don't, you know, get in conflict very often, but in the I can actually tell when it's coming. I see like a there's a you know, she's Hawaiian. She's got some ple in her and there's like I can see it brewing. I could feel the earthquakes and I'm like, "All right, it's coming. It's coming." like I want to, you know, avoid it temporarily, but you know, but if it needs to come, it's got to come. I'd rather get through it. And in the last time, I could just feel it coming. And she's like, you know, I just need to I need to go somewhere for a while. I'm like, that's fine. I just want you to understand my experience as you're in this energy and we're not talking. You know, I'm in a perpetual state like I'm boiling in hot water. Yeah. >> And I just want you to be aware that that's the situation you're putting me in based on my own nervous system, my own. She was like, I don't think she really liked that that much. And it ended up ended up ple ended up coming out and we end up but we got through it. And it's actually better for my nervous system to just get through the heat of it >> and then resolve it than actually an extended time in the day where I'm just sitting in the house waiting for this thing which probably doesn't even get any better. Yeah. you know, at the end of the day. And like, so yeah, I mean, I I think people are coded different ways, but as soon as I feel the first tremor, I'm like, I want to get all the way through the earthquake as fast as possible. Like, I want to cross that fork in the road now rather than push it down the road >> cuz that's that's no way to live. I'm far too sensitive for that [ __ ] >> Yeah. >> Yeah. I I look at that as a kind of mature way to engage in relationships and deal with life, right? to like walk into these things that are scary and to be honest with them and to sit in the implications of them >> and to try to show up and and meet the person as best as you can but not abandon yourself at the same time, >> right? >> And so I try to create ways people can do that in all aspects of their life. Like going back to kind of like the clean up, grow up, and show up model, you know, that's what the process is kind of like geared towards is let's clean you up. Let's clean you up so that you can grow in the actual way that you're supposed to grow, so that you can show up for the ones that you care about and for yourself. >> Yeah. You know, another remarkable thing just on the kind of more technical aspect of it, like we finished our session, I've never felt every fascial conjunction node, every aspect fully released in every part of my body. >> It was like everything was relaxed. I was like, whoa. >> Mhm. >> That's a crazy [ __ ] feeling. because I've gotten a lot of deep body work. I've apprenticed with a master body worker and the sessions are long, 3 hours. >> Mhm. >> Even still, you know, there's not it's not 8 and a half, you know, there's still more that's there and it's beautiful and it's amazing, but it's not complete, >> you know, cuz it's just it takes time. The body's slow. It's like a tree. It bends slowly and it bends back slowly. >> And that's my whole point. That's why I I require people to give me an unlimited amount of time. And so just to go back for people, the format is that we sit and we talk down, we sit down and we talk for an unlimited amount of time. Sometimes that can be 3 hours, sometimes that can go 12 hours straight. And then they transition to the table. And the body work session can go anywhere from 4 hours to 12 hours straight. And my whole concept is this is like the body is interconnected, right? and especially the fashca. The fashca is touching everything. And so to work in isolation of a part of the body then stop the session then come back another time you know like what I'm trying to do is I'm trying to touch every part of them and trying to bring that uh bring the physicality back into a state of like homeostasis or just to get it to a place where it's ideal in how it expresses and how it feels. And that takes a lot of time like like you said like my orientation to the body is listening >> and so I have to listen to it. I have to go at its own I have to go at its pace not my pace. And what I'm always curious about is like how much of a disservice are we doing to people if we're just working on them in segments or portions? That's part of the reason I work on the whole thing until it's done. >> Mhm. is like if I'm truly trying to give the person a chance at like having the feeling that they want, how could I leave a portion of it out, >> right? >> Yeah. And I think this model is is just a model that could be >> revised. And I think right now, you know, even in shamanic work, you know, like >> you'll have a shaman will have a maloa full of 20 25 people, maybe 10, but you know, usually a big group of people. And it's great. They're moving the collective energy, maybe giving you a private benta or even a soaplar, even a, you know, a healing that's really important or your own personal ecaro, however it might be. >> But nonetheless, you feel a little bit like you're, you know, you're one [clears throat] in somebody in a factory and they got to get the numbers up because that's what supports the retreat center and that's how they use their time economically. But as we get more time based on the technologies we have, >> I think these one-on-one interactions and even like the return of these mystery schools and that's something I'm super interested in is like, okay, what happens if you bring someone with undivided attention through five days? >> Yeah. >> And it's undivided attention of the body, the mind, the spirit, the heart, you know, all of the different aspects, the reconnection to nature, all of these things. But it's like a real process of okay, we're going to go through every different system that until actually it's all reset. >> Yeah. >> You know, like all the way. And that's really interesting for me and I think it's something that's kind of luminescent in our future as something that needs to return. >> Yeah. I don't think humans were built to scalability, >> right? >> And when you treat them as such, you you know, you dishonor that in a way. It's like, >> and that's why I do things the way I do them. Like, when I first was doing this, like, all my entrepreneur friends were like, >> "God, this is great, but this is not scalable." And I'm like, "That's my point. That's why it works, [laughter] >> you know, like they just can't wrap their head around it, you know, like humans don't scale." And that orientation already changes the interaction at which you work with a human. like the felt sense of just being again no time limit and all the care and all the attention focused on you to help you go deep into your own experience. >> That is a human need. That is the thing we're skipping over with the current model. >> Yeah. >> This factory approach of like let's see how many we can get in and how efficient we can be. You know what that says to the human being? Like just think about that and then we accept it and then we expect a change from that. when most of our most of our things are coming from this deep like [sighs] lack of actual like care. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. >> Well, paradigms are shifting and I think this is one of the things that >> is shifting hopefully in a positive way and thanks to people like yourself who are >> really re understanding what a human needs and how we can actually support each other. >> So just deeply grateful for you brother. >> Thank you. thanks for doing what you do and I'm glad to know you and I'm looking forward to more adventures >> down the way. >> You got some planned. >> Yeah, for sure. You I'm the type of person that, you know, I this was so profound for me and then I still can't help myself but charge right back into the fray, you know, where the arrows and the spears and the the arrows that blot out the sun are raining down on my shield and I'm just charging. So, I'll probably need several resets in my life to get get to baseline, but everyone does, you know, a significant amount of work and so personally grateful. And also for people who are interested, I mean, you're probably going to be pretty booked from now forward, but [laughter] they might uh what are some things that, you know, I know you're working on this kind of at home reset for people who can't get a session, but for those people who feel really called, how do they get in touch with you? >> Uh, the best way is through my Instagram, uh, kyle Corsy K Y L Eco U R S E Y that has the links for the intake form and the intake form is the only way you can actually get in touch with me. It's going to let me know if you're a candidate. It's going to screen out any contraindications. It's going to give me all your contact information. They can go and read more on my Instagram. There'll also be a document with that that explains the actual logical like logistical structure of what the experience is like. We didn't get a chance to talk about that much today, but if they're curious, they'll find all the information there, my website links, everything they need. Um, and that's pretty much it. But if a person can't have access to me or they're struggling and they need to do something now, like going back to this piece about sovereignty and empowerment, like I believe everybody is their own healer, right? And so if I could give you just one thing to do is to just either get a tennis ball or or you know some kind of raet ball or lacrosse ball or even buy something on Amazon like this massage balls and start to explore your body and match your breath to the stimulus you're experiencing. And don't just stay in one place, but try to run the ball through as many lines of your body as possible, connecting the felt sense and the experience to possible emotional situations that you might have currently or top of mind. And what this is going to do is it's like a minimized uh basic version of what I'm doing is it's driving deep connection to subjective experience while treating the body physically and matching the breath to the current stimulus to create this kind of uh honoring of the biological response and what it's going through. >> Mhm. >> And so what the the the DIY thing will be is like a more indepth version of how to do this as best as possible. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And you know there's different ways to access the body too. I remember after my you know deep psychedelic journey which was two days after our session perfectly timed. [laughter] >> But I I finally go through the the peak of the intensity of it and and the challenge and the beauty and you know it was a gorgeous experience. But I remember I was like all right I got to I got to like actually shake this out. So I was, you know, moving, shaking, jumping up like I was shaking my legs like a leprechaun doing a jig and like really like feeling my body like come back alive in a certain certain way. >> And so that may be the thing that your body's asking for now. It may actually be asking for for labor. >> Yeah. >> Like it may need to work actually like an important concept if you don't mind if we touch on that before you leave. I I believe the human being was geared and built for physiological stress. And so the physical responses that usually came from that honor our biology. And so in the modern like kind of society, we have thousands and thousands of psychological stressors. And our physicality isn't responding in the way that actually helps us process through those and end those psychological stressor loops. And so to match some form of physical expression with the constant stressors we endure in life can be a mini reset in and all of itself. If you continually do them, what you'll see is a minimization of the actual stress response and an actual completion of it most times. >> Not to say it's going to push the psychological stressor away, but at least it matches the biology to the psychology and honors the human being in the way that it needs to be honored. And it helps you build more resilience. Like a lot of like anxiety and depression and psychological conditions I see are alleviated by just this because what they don't understand is those are symptoms of a system so out of balance not honoring the way it's meant to physiologically respond that it has no choice but to create these psychological felt experiences that they can't explain. [clears throat] >> Yeah. And that's one of the beauties of going in the cold. >> Yeah. >> Right. You get in the cold, your body is facing a challenge, and the challenge matches the challenge you probably already feel, but then you start create automatically making out at patience. >> You cannot get in a in a cold plunge and not breathe deeply. I mean, maybe you can, and if you can, you're a [ __ ] Jedi, [laughter] but like your body's like, >> "Yeah, >> like, and it's doing what it needs to do." That's how we need to breathe way more often to actually regulate our, you know, sympathetic nervous system >> to match it. So I have this concept that most people like I might it might be controversial. I just think it makes sense if we were geared for physiological response under stress. Our breathing would match that of something extreme physically. >> Yeah. >> And so we're sitting here with all this psychological stress breathing calmly telling ourel that it's all okay and we wonder why we have anxiety. [laughter] >> What if we match the breath to the actual felt subjective experience? So at least we aren't gaslighting our experience. >> Mhm. Does that make sense? >> Totally. >> And so, yeah, whether it's a cold plunge, whether it's some form of v vigorous exercise, whether it's rolling on these balls, whether it's push-ups, I I don't care how you do it. Just try to move your body and express the subjective state that you're in. >> Yeah. Yeah. That's huge. I mean, if people started doing that, they'd be getting a long way. And you'll start to see a lot of these psychological patterns reveal themselves. Like I had somebody who like is in this space and they know it and like he probably wouldn't mind me revealing his name but I'm just going to keep it confidential and he's like in the process of like writing books and doing all the things right and he's like [ __ ] like you know just so like overwhelmed and so all these things and I told him this thing and he texted me one day later he's like holy [ __ ] that shifted the needle on everything you know he's like I can't believe something so simple as jumping on a bike when I'm this overwhelmed and stressed changed my whole experience of that stress. >> Yep. >> And it's like if they can't get access to me, like take it into your own hands. >> Yeah. I mean, try to try to be stressed after 2 hours on the mat doing jiu-jitsu. Good luck. [laughter] >> You're not going to be. Other thing that's interesting too is it actually reframes the psychological amplification of these things >> because when you push your body through something especially like jiu-jitsu that's real life like survival and extreme and like what it does on the back end for most people is it minimizes the psychological stress. It's like I'm tripping about that like you know like and it does it more than any intellectualism will. >> And so like again intellectualism is not the path. >> Yeah. >> You know and so much of this is forging that healthy relationship with the body again like >> we are our body and also it's distinct in its own way. It has like we're our consciousness is a part of this body. It's informed by the body and also the body has its own consciousness and its own needs and it's like be a loving partner >> to your body. Like what do you need bro? >> Yeah. It's speaking to you at all times. Totally. That's another thing I'm trying to create is the communication. Reopening the communication. Yeah. >> The form of intelligence that's coming through is divine. >> Your body is speaking 100% truth, not anybody else's truth, your truth. Y >> and it's trying to show you with all its symptoms, all its experiences what it actually needs. And we're so shitty to our body. We're like, "You're too fat. You're too tired. You're not I don't have enough energy. You're like, >> we become a slave master. Shut the [ __ ] up and do what I want." >> Yeah. >> Basically, right? >> Yeah. That's not a good way to form a relationship. >> And imagine how what your body and this is like one of the things I try to show people through the experience is like how hard they've been on their body, how much they've stopped listening to it. It's a lot it's a big reason a lot of tears come. >> Mhm. >> A lot of people then realize through the felt sense what they've been doing to themselves psychologically. Mhm. >> And once you see that, like you're like, "Oh my god, I'm so I'm so sorry." >> Yeah. Totally. >> You know, you've carried me through this life. You've helped me achieve everything that I've wanted to achieve, and I just keep telling you >> Mhm. >> over and over again, shut up, keep going, >> keep pushing. >> You know, >> healthy relationships all the way up and all the way down. And it starts here at home. >> And it crosses over into all your relational things. >> Yeah. >> It can't help but cross over. >> Yeah. I mean, that's the definition of a sociopath is somebody who wants something from somebody else but doesn't treat them as a real sovereign individual. Like, it's denying the denying and honoring of the sacredness of that other person or in this case of our body. >> Yeah. >> It's just saying, "Nope, do what I want. Shut the [ __ ] up." Like, if you're a boss who does that to your employees, you're going to have a shitty company. Yeah. You know, if you're the operator of your body and you're doing that, you're going to have a shitty relationship with your body and then your body's ultimately going to scream. >> Yeah. >> And it's going to say like, "Now, are you listening to me?" >> Yeah. >> You know, how about with this tumor? Are you listening to me now? >> That's that's what I'm trying to help people prevent, too, is like >> you push that thing so far down the road that you end up with a disease. >> Yeah. you know, and I'm glad you brought up the entrepreneur thing and the business uh people because what the clients I'm seeing now, a lot of them are either CEOs or founders or like they're in management positions, right? And what they're finding is that they're not coming to see me for like the psychoso spiritual side that maybe like somebody like you would come to see me for, >> but what they're finding is is that this moves the needle on their performance more than anything else they've tried. And so like I don't care why I get them in the door, right? If you're if you're a money guy and you want to increase your return, like come see me. I'll help you do that, but it's not going to be in the way that you think, but it's going to be more effective than everything else you've tried, >> right? And so like let's let's help people become better stewards of these things cuz they're ultimately they're paving the way by example. >> Yeah. >> A shitty boss like creates a shitty environment, teaches people to like be shitty when they get into those positions. It's like, let's break the chain. Like, that's what my work's all about. It's like breaking the pattern. We all inherited some some [ __ ] you know what I mean? And we keep perpetuating it. Why? Why are we doing that? >> Like, I love when people come to see me before they're having a kid, you know? And it's like, let's make sure that the the code you're passing on is clean. Y >> let's not hand our kids what we we got handed that we all >> let's not have the arrogance that we're going to hide >> who we really are and what we're really feeling from our kids cuz they're psychic as [ __ ] >> They see it all. They see it all. >> Yeah. 100%. Well, timing is good. >> Kids coming. >> Three, four weeks. Y >> it'll be here. >> Thank you, my brother. I appreciate you so much, man. And this has been great. Same. >> Love you guys. We'll see you next week.